Family and Friends Forum

1 month of not contact

Notifications OFF

Sjp88

Member since
October 2019

26 posts

Posted Wed June 3, 2020 10:33pmReport post

So it has been a month since my children's father was released from prison and the probation service still have the licence condition that he is to have zero contact. No letters, no phone calls. Nothing.



This drop out In communication is hugely damaging for the children.



Social services have no issue with me supervising contact, including face to face contact. As far as they are concerned the case is closed and I am capable of facilitating contact. I have asked if another section 46 can be done but apparently I can't request this. They need a referral with new information or new risk.



Im losing hope for them to be honest. I'm trying to remain optimistic but honest with the children. But they are struggling. Phone calls were allowed to take place through his prison sentence and I was given no warning so I had no time to prepare the children for yet another disappearance of their father.



His probation officer has mentioned to him "letter box contact" but googling this seems to throw up an annual letter scheme for adopted children.



I'm really quite angry that probation officer doesn't feel social services have been thorough enough (despite section 47 and child in need plan completr) and so she is using the blunt instrument of the licence conditions to enact what she feels should be the level of contact between a sex offender and his children. Ie zero.



I think I'm now at the stage where the only thing I can think he can do is take some legal advice to appeal his licence conditions. If that is even allowed.



Has anyone got any experience with appealing licence conditions.



Ps. All we want is regular phone contact. At some stage in the future we would like supervised faxes to face contact perhaps every month. I don't think that is unreasonable and I think could be well managed in terms of risk.

majestictopaz15

Member since
December 2019

371 posts

Posted Wed June 3, 2020 11:12pmReport post

My partner at the moment is going through the family courts to get contact centre visitation rights. He is not allowed direct contact in any way to his kids at the moment. He is on suspended sentence and was sentenced in aug. So over 6 months with probation who he told from the start he would want to seek some sort of contact with his kids. They recommended he waited until they got to knew him better and his risk etc but they are aware he has now submitted to the courts and SS are aware also. Not sure if probation will defend his side but they have put him foward for a family reconnecting course so I assume they are likely to say they think it should be ok to his kids with supervision.



The case goes to the court early July so can't really say whether appeals on the license can happen. But we have not been told what my partner has requested would be shot down instantly. I think your children dad should let probation know he plans to get contact in some form as soon as possible and they should in theory help with that. At least they could say when they would be ready to, e.g. reaches a milestone. I agree it is cruel to allow contact whilst in prison but not after release. What is the difference of a phone call at the very least?



I hope it can be resolved for you and your children soon enough.

Sjp88

Member since
October 2019

26 posts

Posted Sat June 6, 2020 12:23pmReport post

Hi Majestic,



I'm really sorry you too are in this tricky situation. How do you feel about your partner having contact and how involved are you in 'fighting for it'? Or would you prefer that he didnt have contact?



I'm sorry I haven't replied til now. My hips have fall apart (in fact many of my joints have). My GP has signed me off work for 4 weeks so I'm looking at a disciplinary now at work too. But I'm on crutches and exhausted and sore so there is bugger all else I can do.



I have had to say to myself mentally that this is my ex husband's battle. I can't do it for him and my job is to mitigate as much as I can for the kids.



I'm just so tired of it all





Xxx

majestictopaz15

Member since
December 2019

371 posts

Posted Sat June 6, 2020 4:15pmReport post

Ah sorry I didn't make it clear I think that I'm not his kids mother. I met my partner post knock but stuck by him because from personal understanding these offenders cannot be painted with the same brush. His ex wife is anti him having any contact, it is going on to three years next week since he saw or spoke to them. She is entitled to push back on it and my partner has tried to get the courts to have better contact but his ex wife never did mediation with him (a requirement before reaching a judge for family court) and the best he could do was get a monthly email from his ex wife Aon how the kids are doing. The family courts didn't not want to address any other contact until he was sentenced.

But I think with the help of SS and other authorities some sort of contact can be arranged at some point, especially if offenders are not high risk. Ofc it is case by case. For me I feel it's the kids that have suffered more than nessesary. By the time my partner sees his kids it would be well over three years and they will go through emotional turmoil. His ex wife has known from the start he would want some sort of contact and that he won't just walk away. But I believe she is just hoping he gives up. I support my partner trying to get some sort of contact otherwise he will regret it and I believe parents should be known to their kids when the parent cares for them deeply.