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Struggling to cope

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siobhan

Member since
June 2020

2 posts

Posted Sat June 6, 2020 8:07pmReport post

Hi,

I posted this on a thread but I'm thinking it might be more suited here.

I'm 20 years old and it was my brother that was found with those images a few years ago when I was 15/16. My brother didn’t go to prison but is doing what he has to to pay for it. He lived with a friend for a while afterwards but then he moved back home. My family don't talk about it, I haven't had any support other than social services coming round until I turned 18 and it was like they didn't want to know anymore because I wasn't a child so I didn’t matter.

With my brother being home, I'm super close with him but I know I hold a lot of anger resentment towards him, and I feel so much guilt for keeping in touch but I've never had any other option. I was planning to move away but the virus has put all that on hold for now, and I'm just feeling so helpless.

I feel so trapped, like it’s going to be hanging over my head for the rest of my life when I haven’t done anything wrong. My mental health isn’t too good a lot of the time so this just weighs me down even more and I’m scared to know where I’ll end up if I don’t do something. It just feels like it's never going to get any easier.

Also, this morning an old friend messaged me with the words ‘is this your brother?’ with a link attached, and I haven’t checked it because I just KNOW what it is, and that’s why I’m writing this.

I stumbled across this place while looking for anything that’ll make me feel less alone, and from what I’ve read it feels so comforting just to see that it’s not just me.

Does anyone have any advice? Has anyone been in this situation with a sibling?

Ann P

Member since
February 2020

169 posts

Posted Sat June 6, 2020 8:41pmReport post

Hi Siobhan

I just wanted to say you have come to the right place and there will be someone here who has probably shared your experience. It's not me, it was my husband who offended but I just wanted to say you're not alone. This is a completly safe, non judgemental supportive space.

If you can ring the Lucy Faithfull helpline, they are brilliant. You'll have to try loads of times as they are super busy.

Sending love and support your way x