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Delay after delay

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Ann P

Member since
February 2020

169 posts

Posted Tue June 9, 2020 1:44pmReport post

Well 2020 couldn't get much worse really. Anyone here who has followed my story will know husband attempted suicide 2016, arrested 2017 for downloading images. 2 years 8 months under investigation. Finally went to magistrates in Feb this year. Sentencing supposed to be April, delayed by covid till June. Just heard today further delayed till August, that'll be 3 and a half years of waiting. S**t. Cannot move on.

Rainbowgirl80

Member since
May 2020

204 posts

Posted Tue June 9, 2020 2:03pmReport post

Wow Ann I cannot believe how long this has been dragged out.

I am only almost 3 weeks into this mess and husband's end of bail presenting has already been delayed 2 months.

I get the police are stretched but they drop a bomb on your life and then walk away leaving everyone to try to pick up the pieces!

Is your hubby living with you? X

Ann P

Member since
February 2020

169 posts

Posted Tue June 9, 2020 2:58pmReport post

Hi rainbowgirl

Yes he's with me. I've supported him from the beginning though it hasn't been easy and at one point I left for a week.

We have a 45 year relationship, he's my best friend and ultimately I couldn't walk away. I know it's different for everyone and everyone has to come to their own conclusion.

The delay is now getting beyond reasonable even with covid19. The only thing the solicitor said was that in her opinion it strengthens the possibility of a suspended sentence as by then it will be 3 years 3 months since his arrest and imposing custody is getting less and less reasonable as more time goes by. I have to hang on to that at least.

Ann P

Member since
February 2020

169 posts

Posted Tue June 9, 2020 5:21pmReport post

Lost123

Thankyou. Thank goodness for this site, it's honestly kept me going through some really dark days. I'm working hard on staying calm, as its totally out of my control but it's massively disappointing.

Lou

Member since
August 2019

10 posts

Posted Wed June 10, 2020 6:40pmReport post

Hi all,

My husband was arrested for online grooming in September 2017 and then again in August 2019 whilst under investigation. The initial police team from 2017 "forgot about our case for over a year, so there was a significant delay anyway which left him the opportunity to reoffend. We are not together and since the 2nd arrest he has no access to our children, because I don't trust him and because he assaulted me. Social services agree with my decision but his parents do not. So I'm in a difficult position as I have said he can't see the children until after it goes to court and I know the truth. I have heard he will plead guilty to reduce his sentence and now believe, as you have said, that he will avoid a custodial sentence due to the whole thing taking almost 3 years to even be given a court date.

Having seen the news today that online grooming offences are rising I am appalled that he may be allowed freedom to reoffend because of a combination of police failings and the pandemic.

anxiousbuthopeful

Member since
May 2020

18 posts

Posted Wed June 10, 2020 9:02pmReport post

Hi Lou

Was your husband arrested for an 'alleged' new offence or was he just rearrested for the same offence like the one in 2017. I'm sorry to pry. Just trying to understand how these things work. I don't believe the police provide families much help or closure at all and I really hope that changes. What do you mean by they 'forgot about his case for over a year'?. That seems terrible.

Stay safe and sane ladies. And to Ann P, surely they need to take into account the extreme delay when it comes to sentencing. Has your husband attempted to seek any help at all between now and then because I Know that often works out in peoples favour?



Stay strong you're almost there.

jake

Member since
April 2020

34 posts

Posted Wed June 10, 2020 11:29pmReport post

Hi Ann p

my son as arrested the 13/02,2020, he was charged on monday this week and court case Aug the 6th, it seems to depend on where you live on time scale, i live in the west midlands and things seem to move a lot faster here, keep strong xxx

anxiousbuthopeful

Member since
May 2020

18 posts

Posted Sun June 14, 2020 10:19pmReport post

Hi Ann P.

Did your husband have a second interview or just the one interview and then the very long wait. This limbo is unbearable!

Thank you hun x

Ann P

Member since
February 2020

169 posts

Posted Wed June 17, 2020 6:05amReport post

Anxiousbuthopeful

I'm sorry I only just saw your question. The first and second interviews happened quite quickly I think the 2nd one was less than 6 months after the first one, then unbelievable long wait. He's done the Inform Plus course in that time and got counselling from StopSo.

JenGUS

Member since
June 2020

15 posts

Posted Mon June 29, 2020 2:52pmReport post

Hi Ann

I am in the same boat as you. My boyfriend of 3.5 years was arrested almost 3 years ago and he finally got probation last week. I was so relieved thinking it was all over and then it was posted in a Sunday paper and on Facebook so he has lost his job.

I know how you're feeling. It is awful.

Edited Mon June 29, 2020 2:52pm

Tutleymutley

Member since
November 2019

104 posts

Posted Wed July 1, 2020 3:58pmReport post

My stomach flips whenever I read your posts, Ann P. We're only 7 months in, and because, like you, our family is grown, I just know that we won't be seen as a priority and we'll be put off in a similar fashion. We have heard NOTHING since his bail was changed to 'release under investigation' before Christmas.

I hope that with the easing of lockdown restrictions the end of YOUR torture is in sight.