Christmas
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It's getting near to the 25th and I can feel that I'm becoming more tearful and unable to cope. I know the firsts are always more difficult but God it's so hard.
I've been up since 5 this morning and decorated the bathroom just to keep busy until the world starts to wake up with me.
Please tell me this gets better and easier, I've not only got the trial in April but we've got a court date at the end of January about ito divorce, apparently I don't deserve half of our assets so the judge has to decide - wouldn't you think he'd of had enough of court!! I'm also bring 'aggressive'because I've not agreed his terms!!
Apologies, I'm feeling sorry for myself today but sometimes it's harder than others to pin that smile on your face while inside you're breaking!!
Thank God for you guys, you understand and I don't feel I'm being a burden to my family and friends if I can let it go on here.
Have a great day xxx
I've been up since 5 this morning and decorated the bathroom just to keep busy until the world starts to wake up with me.
Please tell me this gets better and easier, I've not only got the trial in April but we've got a court date at the end of January about ito divorce, apparently I don't deserve half of our assets so the judge has to decide - wouldn't you think he'd of had enough of court!! I'm also bring 'aggressive'because I've not agreed his terms!!
Apologies, I'm feeling sorry for myself today but sometimes it's harder than others to pin that smile on your face while inside you're breaking!!
Thank God for you guys, you understand and I don't feel I'm being a burden to my family and friends if I can let it go on here.
Have a great day xxx
I'm sorry to hear what your going through. I too have Christmas to think about however, I have learnt to try and control what I can and ignore what I can't.
This Christmas is cancelled, I will make a non-christmas dinner and watch series on Netflix and write out my divorce papers. My family are begging me to come to spend it when them but Christmas doesn't feel right this year.
My advice is too make a plan. If that's is 'cancelling' Christmas and pretending it's not there then let it be. Or if it's having Christmas with friends or family. Keep fighting, control what you can.
This Christmas is cancelled, I will make a non-christmas dinner and watch series on Netflix and write out my divorce papers. My family are begging me to come to spend it when them but Christmas doesn't feel right this year.
My advice is too make a plan. If that's is 'cancelling' Christmas and pretending it's not there then let it be. Or if it's having Christmas with friends or family. Keep fighting, control what you can.
Thank you losthusband, you're right I need to make a plan that pleases me and not everyone else!!
I hope you have the best one you can and hopefully 2019 will bring us answers and restore from feeling so rubbish xx
I hope you have the best one you can and hopefully 2019 will bring us answers and restore from feeling so rubbish xx
Tracey, as you have decided to break from the offender who had put you in this terrible position, I can assure you that yes, things do get better. Two years ago I spent Christmas with friends who were very generous-spirited. However I essentially felt like an outsider. Everyone there was either with their partner or, in the case of some of the younger people, physically away from their partners but constantly phoning and texting to say happy Christmas and how much they loved them. I was the one sad lonely person who had nobody- and with a magistrate’s hearing looming in January, I knew my husband’s crimes were about to hit the local media. I had no idea whether or not he would be going to jail, and somehow my children and I would have to find a way forward. At one point on Christmas Day it all became too much and I had to go out for a long walk by myself so that the people I was staying with wouldn’t have to deal with me crying and have their Christmas ruined.
The following year I was divorced, I moved away, my ex went to court and was lucky to receive only a non-custodial sentence, I weathered the media storm (which wasn’t as bad as I’d feared, although I did fall out with a couple of people who I thought I could trust but who let me down very badly), and I met a new partner. So this Christmas I’m looking forward to a lovely future with my new man. I’m not claiming everything is perfect, but I just wanted to say that things can get better and that you won’t always feel as if your whole life is defined by your husband’s poor judgement. In my opinion, if you want to truly move forward in your life and gain an inner contentment, you will need to separate yourself from the past, which will mean getting divorced, a decision I’ve never regretted for a moment. However, I know many of you on the forum have decided to stick with your partner. It will be harder for you but I really believe that there are good things ahead if you are prepared to fight for them. All the best to all of you. You are amazing people and deserve the opportunity to rediscover happiness. XX
The following year I was divorced, I moved away, my ex went to court and was lucky to receive only a non-custodial sentence, I weathered the media storm (which wasn’t as bad as I’d feared, although I did fall out with a couple of people who I thought I could trust but who let me down very badly), and I met a new partner. So this Christmas I’m looking forward to a lovely future with my new man. I’m not claiming everything is perfect, but I just wanted to say that things can get better and that you won’t always feel as if your whole life is defined by your husband’s poor judgement. In my opinion, if you want to truly move forward in your life and gain an inner contentment, you will need to separate yourself from the past, which will mean getting divorced, a decision I’ve never regretted for a moment. However, I know many of you on the forum have decided to stick with your partner. It will be harder for you but I really believe that there are good things ahead if you are prepared to fight for them. All the best to all of you. You are amazing people and deserve the opportunity to rediscover happiness. XX
Hi Esther, just a quick response to your post. I identified with what you said as I feel very much the outsider when I'm with friends and their partners. I was so proud to have my now ex partner in my life.I thought I had it all. Love, security and a future, and it was all gone the day of the Knock. I can never forgive him for that.
Am happy for you that you have a new man in your life to help celebrate Christmas. (How did you meet?) Like some of you I have tried on line dating. It's probably far too early. But it is a distraction. Am also concerned about sharing with a new partner the reason I am back on the singles market.
Paula x
Am happy for you that you have a new man in your life to help celebrate Christmas. (How did you meet?) Like some of you I have tried on line dating. It's probably far too early. But it is a distraction. Am also concerned about sharing with a new partner the reason I am back on the singles market.
Paula x