Family court advice
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Hello,
My partner is in the process of seeking supervised visitation rights through a contact centre. He has just been sent a copy of his ex wifes testimony which basically says she is totally against him having any access to the kids. She states that the kids have done well without him and the fact they haven't seen him for three years means any reconnecting would be detrimental to their lives.
My partner has been going through this process without legal aid and didn't know that maybe he could have provided his own testimony. He hasn't spoken to his ex wife properly for three years due to her total reluctantance. I am not denying that reconnecting with his kids won't impact them but I'm sure if handled right won't be too stressful, kids are more resilient than we think I believe.
My partner is now saving up for possible legal aid with this. I was wondering if anyone knows of any web resources or helplines (other than LF) that could help us figure out how rights and how to go about this. Because his ex wife is totally against any contact could this be used as means to refuse his request for use of visitation centres?
My partner is in the process of seeking supervised visitation rights through a contact centre. He has just been sent a copy of his ex wifes testimony which basically says she is totally against him having any access to the kids. She states that the kids have done well without him and the fact they haven't seen him for three years means any reconnecting would be detrimental to their lives.
My partner has been going through this process without legal aid and didn't know that maybe he could have provided his own testimony. He hasn't spoken to his ex wife properly for three years due to her total reluctantance. I am not denying that reconnecting with his kids won't impact them but I'm sure if handled right won't be too stressful, kids are more resilient than we think I believe.
My partner is now saving up for possible legal aid with this. I was wondering if anyone knows of any web resources or helplines (other than LF) that could help us figure out how rights and how to go about this. Because his ex wife is totally against any contact could this be used as means to refuse his request for use of visitation centres?
Thanks Lee. I need to note these support lines so I don't keep asking the same questions lol. I had a look through briefly on their webpage but I think a phone is needed since I'm struggling to find info related to our situation.
I just really hope that his ex wife's reluctantance isn't going to have too much weight. It should be based on my partners risk and impact to the children. I now have to support him while he is low from reading that his ex wife said his kids don't ever ask for him and have thrived without him.
I just really hope that his ex wife's reluctantance isn't going to have too much weight. It should be based on my partners risk and impact to the children. I now have to support him while he is low from reading that his ex wife said his kids don't ever ask for him and have thrived without him.
Hi,
My ex is having this problem as he accepted a caution with 2 years SOR as opposed to the stresses of going to court. He didn't realise the impact this would have on him having access to his children. The mother of which is still refusing him contact. He is adamant he is innocent and I believe him. However the stress became too much and he didn't fully understand the implications of accepting a caution. To him it showed he was innocent. He did not seek any legal advice throughout this despite my advice too. What does he do from here to try and reconnect with his kids who he hasn't seen for a full year, since his arrest. Any advice greatly appreciated as she will not budge. What's more she had cut his entire family out. So their kids don't see anyone from their dad's side of the family. I believe this alone shows she is not acting in the best interests of them. Really don't know how to support him with this.
My ex is having this problem as he accepted a caution with 2 years SOR as opposed to the stresses of going to court. He didn't realise the impact this would have on him having access to his children. The mother of which is still refusing him contact. He is adamant he is innocent and I believe him. However the stress became too much and he didn't fully understand the implications of accepting a caution. To him it showed he was innocent. He did not seek any legal advice throughout this despite my advice too. What does he do from here to try and reconnect with his kids who he hasn't seen for a full year, since his arrest. Any advice greatly appreciated as she will not budge. What's more she had cut his entire family out. So their kids don't see anyone from their dad's side of the family. I believe this alone shows she is not acting in the best interests of them. Really don't know how to support him with this.
Hi partner. It sounds like you are experiencing the same as me so happy to help where I can. I recommend your partner get some advice perhaps legally or any family reuniting helplines to see what is best. Like I have said my partner has had little legal help. When he had his solicitor for his charges they said it was possible to represent himself in family courts and he didn't seek legal aid to reduce costs.
In general your partner can apply to the family courts, C100 form I think, to request visitation rights. It costs a bit less than 300 quid at a time. He has rights as a father and his ex's stance won't have much of a bearing of cafcass's assessment. For example my partner got their response to his application to see his kids through a contact centre (this option he felt was the easiest bet he could see them since he was sentenced and on the register, also since his ex does not want the kids to see him at all), they believe it would be in the kids best interest to reconnect with their dad. But since his ex sees him as a threat cafcass has recommended to the judge my partner gets a private assessment done. Your partner might have have to consider also getting an assessment done, LF can provide this service but at a cost which we don't know yet.
I will post updates where I can on our experience so this might help you too. Essentially if the mother is not agreeing to any contact it should be dealt with through the courts coz then the visits will be a lawful requirement. For example currently the courts have made the ex give my partner an email update on the kids once a month. If she defaults she could be fined.
Sending hugs
In general your partner can apply to the family courts, C100 form I think, to request visitation rights. It costs a bit less than 300 quid at a time. He has rights as a father and his ex's stance won't have much of a bearing of cafcass's assessment. For example my partner got their response to his application to see his kids through a contact centre (this option he felt was the easiest bet he could see them since he was sentenced and on the register, also since his ex does not want the kids to see him at all), they believe it would be in the kids best interest to reconnect with their dad. But since his ex sees him as a threat cafcass has recommended to the judge my partner gets a private assessment done. Your partner might have have to consider also getting an assessment done, LF can provide this service but at a cost which we don't know yet.
I will post updates where I can on our experience so this might help you too. Essentially if the mother is not agreeing to any contact it should be dealt with through the courts coz then the visits will be a lawful requirement. For example currently the courts have made the ex give my partner an email update on the kids once a month. If she defaults she could be fined.
Sending hugs
Thank you for your reply. Despite him being an ex I am completely there for him and he knows this. The ex bit is for other reasons.
He listens but at present hasn't taken my advice or he would have had legal representation from the start. The knowledge I've gained is from this wonderful forum but he closes off when things get tough for him.
For example it's Father's Day today and I know inside he will be struggling but it's phone off and when he does contact me he will say he's fine. But I know h and know he's not.
I really appreciate your advice. I'm sorry your in this position also and I'm pleased to have found someone in the same position so we can support each other. I'm not sure he is the best person to represent himself however may try and convince him to get an advocate.
It's such a shame as he idolises his children and really is losing hope.
Sending love and hugs. Your advice is really appreciated.
He listens but at present hasn't taken my advice or he would have had legal representation from the start. The knowledge I've gained is from this wonderful forum but he closes off when things get tough for him.
For example it's Father's Day today and I know inside he will be struggling but it's phone off and when he does contact me he will say he's fine. But I know h and know he's not.
I really appreciate your advice. I'm sorry your in this position also and I'm pleased to have found someone in the same position so we can support each other. I'm not sure he is the best person to represent himself however may try and convince him to get an advocate.
It's such a shame as he idolises his children and really is losing hope.
Sending love and hugs. Your advice is really appreciated.
Thank you to both writers above. So sorry for your predicament, but so grateful that you have shared it. My son is in the same position as your hb, partner and your ex. The knock came on my door when my son was visiting me. His wife had called the Police saying he had IIOC on his PC. Since then she has cut us all off totally. As a Grannie, I have taken the matter of access to my granddaughter to court so that at least Grandad and myself can see his daughter. So far we have had little success, being allowed only supervised access and at the moment virtual contact thanks to Covid 19. In a few weeks we go for the Final Hearing and we are holding out little hope as the Cafcass s7 report on me was poor. (Apparently, as I was able to forgive my son, I showed a lack of insight.)
Prior to the Knock, our whole family was incredibly close and we all got on well with his wife's family. What a shambles.
This week we have reached a new difficulty. The Police have found 8 IIOC on my son's PC. We begin to think that as he lives with us, all chances of our continued access will now disappear.
Noone seems to be thinking about what this all means to that beautiful little girl, just 3 years old, who has lost her daddy and all her daddy's family too. How can this be right?
I hope to hear more from the two writers above. Hopefully good news. I promise to let you know if I have any positive feedback.
Prior to the Knock, our whole family was incredibly close and we all got on well with his wife's family. What a shambles.
This week we have reached a new difficulty. The Police have found 8 IIOC on my son's PC. We begin to think that as he lives with us, all chances of our continued access will now disappear.
Noone seems to be thinking about what this all means to that beautiful little girl, just 3 years old, who has lost her daddy and all her daddy's family too. How can this be right?
I hope to hear more from the two writers above. Hopefully good news. I promise to let you know if I have any positive feedback.
Sorry I didn't see the post above hence the delay.
It can be very tricky to get access when one of the parents is pushing back. The first court hearing for my partners case was last Wednesday but was a complete waste of time and now further delays. Basically the outcome was a repeat of what cafcass had suggested (evidence he has done the inform course, he needs to submit statements from his probation officer etc and look into getting a private assessment). He could have provided half of this in time for the first hearing but now it is another month to wait. I still don't see why they need a private assessment when he has an assessment done by probation! Hopefully the judge will just use that to avoid further delay.
It is like the family courts have no communication with other parts of the legal system. They even asked for a copy of his SHPO, surely that is on file somewhere? He has also submitted evidence before about the Lucy faithful course. My advice to anyone going through this is to submit everything to the family courts with the application and not wait for them to tell you what is needed. And submit a personal statement as well.
Sorry I'm just so angry at how slow this process is. Cafcass even said in their report that the longer this takes the worse it is for the kids.
If anyone has an insight into the Lucy faithful private assessment I would appreciate it. E.g. how long did it take.
Rant over for now
Sending hugs
It can be very tricky to get access when one of the parents is pushing back. The first court hearing for my partners case was last Wednesday but was a complete waste of time and now further delays. Basically the outcome was a repeat of what cafcass had suggested (evidence he has done the inform course, he needs to submit statements from his probation officer etc and look into getting a private assessment). He could have provided half of this in time for the first hearing but now it is another month to wait. I still don't see why they need a private assessment when he has an assessment done by probation! Hopefully the judge will just use that to avoid further delay.
It is like the family courts have no communication with other parts of the legal system. They even asked for a copy of his SHPO, surely that is on file somewhere? He has also submitted evidence before about the Lucy faithful course. My advice to anyone going through this is to submit everything to the family courts with the application and not wait for them to tell you what is needed. And submit a personal statement as well.
Sorry I'm just so angry at how slow this process is. Cafcass even said in their report that the longer this takes the worse it is for the kids.
If anyone has an insight into the Lucy faithful private assessment I would appreciate it. E.g. how long did it take.
Rant over for now
Sending hugs
Latest update on my partners case. The court want him to look into getting a private risk assessment before they confirm whether one is required... (Fees, time scales, the criteria)
Unfortunately he has been quoted a fee that is is more than twice what we were expecting and I will have to offer my savings because I will not let this whole process drag on any longer.
The court also want a copy of his SHPO, why doesn't the court have access to this? I know it is family court but they don't seem to know anything about sexual offences since it was strange they asked for info on how a private Risk assessment would be done. The risk assessor told him they would need the assessment from his probation officer, who has said that is not allowed at all. Only the courts and police can view it.
The letter from the court also doesn't say how he is expected to get a letter from his probation officer and police contact. He isn't allowed to submit on their behalf, which is obvious since he could make up their statement.
Either way the way this family court case is going is already messy. He has another hearing in aug where I hope they will let him know in that date if he needs this Risk assessment or not. The longer this goes on he longer it will take to see his kids.
Unfortunately he has been quoted a fee that is is more than twice what we were expecting and I will have to offer my savings because I will not let this whole process drag on any longer.
The court also want a copy of his SHPO, why doesn't the court have access to this? I know it is family court but they don't seem to know anything about sexual offences since it was strange they asked for info on how a private Risk assessment would be done. The risk assessor told him they would need the assessment from his probation officer, who has said that is not allowed at all. Only the courts and police can view it.
The letter from the court also doesn't say how he is expected to get a letter from his probation officer and police contact. He isn't allowed to submit on their behalf, which is obvious since he could make up their statement.
Either way the way this family court case is going is already messy. He has another hearing in aug where I hope they will let him know in that date if he needs this Risk assessment or not. The longer this goes on he longer it will take to see his kids.
I'm sorry I've missed both replies. Finally accepting support and has started the ball rolling, with mediation, court order etc. It's so frustrating when it's the children who miss out.
I think cutting off extended family is a big mistake and shows unwillingness to act in the child's best interest legally.
Good luck to you both and do let's keep each other updated and support each other.
I think cutting off extended family is a big mistake and shows unwillingness to act in the child's best interest legally.
Good luck to you both and do let's keep each other updated and support each other.
Hi partner,
My other half was meant to have his court hearing on Monday but got a letter today to say it is delayed with no indication of when it will now be! These delays are getting silly.
On top of that the courts still have not sent a direct request for a statement from his probation officer and police contact. He has chased the courts and only a few days ago did they promise to get in with it. Turns out his probation officer is now on annual leave. So maybe this delay is a good thing but seems to me the courts dont have a set procedure for child sex offenders.
I shall keep this thread up to date ,would it be good to hear from yourself and others on experiences with family court.
My other half was meant to have his court hearing on Monday but got a letter today to say it is delayed with no indication of when it will now be! These delays are getting silly.
On top of that the courts still have not sent a direct request for a statement from his probation officer and police contact. He has chased the courts and only a few days ago did they promise to get in with it. Turns out his probation officer is now on annual leave. So maybe this delay is a good thing but seems to me the courts dont have a set procedure for child sex offenders.
I shall keep this thread up to date ,would it be good to hear from yourself and others on experiences with family court.
Another update on what proves to be a long process....
The judge has asked the report done by my partner's probation team to be submitted as evidence of risk. If CAFCASS find it suitable then he won't need to get a private assessment. But been warned this can take another three to four months! We had hoped this would all be resolved before Xmas but again more disappointment.
The judge has asked the report done by my partner's probation team to be submitted as evidence of risk. If CAFCASS find it suitable then he won't need to get a private assessment. But been warned this can take another three to four months! We had hoped this would all be resolved before Xmas but again more disappointment.