Father's Day
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I just wanted to reach out to everyone today as so many offenders are fathers, and today might be a difficult day for some of us.
I hope you are all having good days today or bearable at least. Take time for yourself, even if it's just for a cuppa. Sometimes it can feel like we're in the middle of a hurricane, us in the middle with all this crap whirling around. So just breathe today, and find ond good thing to celebrate, however small. Mine was a nice cuppa first thing, took it back to bed and had my window open to let the breeze in.
What are you grateful for today?
I hope you are all having good days today or bearable at least. Take time for yourself, even if it's just for a cuppa. Sometimes it can feel like we're in the middle of a hurricane, us in the middle with all this crap whirling around. So just breathe today, and find ond good thing to celebrate, however small. Mine was a nice cuppa first thing, took it back to bed and had my window open to let the breeze in.
What are you grateful for today?
Hi Ann
thanks for your post, it is a very good question!
Despite what my partner has done he is such a fantastic father! I don't know how he ended up where he did, but it doesn't change him as a dad.
I am really grateful that he is here still, alive, I know that sounds a bit crazy but I would rather be in our position, still waiting for the investigation to be completed???? So many men commit suicide or have died from coronavirus or other reasons. But I would still rather be in this position, knowing what he has done but with him alive, I think of all the people whose fathers have died.
wishing you & everyone on here all the best
Mabel xx
thanks for your post, it is a very good question!
Despite what my partner has done he is such a fantastic father! I don't know how he ended up where he did, but it doesn't change him as a dad.
I am really grateful that he is here still, alive, I know that sounds a bit crazy but I would rather be in our position, still waiting for the investigation to be completed???? So many men commit suicide or have died from coronavirus or other reasons. But I would still rather be in this position, knowing what he has done but with him alive, I think of all the people whose fathers have died.
wishing you & everyone on here all the best
Mabel xx
What a lovely post Ann. Today is defo a tough day for my partner because he has seen the cafcass report about his application to seek visitation for his kids after three years. Wasn't totally good news so makes this day worse being father's Day.
I'm grateful for the fact I have worked hard to get the career I wanted. Did uni, worked for a few years to gain experience and then did a masters which was the toughest time. It has been a struggle but I got there in the end.
I hope you enjoy your cup of tea, I'm having my special coffee (only have it once a week).
I'm grateful for the fact I have worked hard to get the career I wanted. Did uni, worked for a few years to gain experience and then did a masters which was the toughest time. It has been a struggle but I got there in the end.
I hope you enjoy your cup of tea, I'm having my special coffee (only have it once a week).
Hi
What a lovely positive post AnnP. I am grateful today for the unconditional love and company of my dogs.
Enjoy your cup of tea and all the best for the future.
What a lovely positive post AnnP. I am grateful today for the unconditional love and company of my dogs.
Enjoy your cup of tea and all the best for the future.
A positive is that my son is able to see his dad today.
My heart is breaking for the family I used to have. Aching for the days when I didn't wake up with that feeling of dread.
Thoughts with you all
My heart is breaking for the family I used to have. Aching for the days when I didn't wake up with that feeling of dread.
Thoughts with you all
Its such a hard day for so many of us. My hb has been very lucky and our 4 girls have spoilt him ( not seeing any due to pandemic) but have all sent him cards etc. But it breaks my heart as we will never be the same, ever. He is a great hb and father and i must say our children have used that fact to stand by him( he is a very very lucky man) . But i miss the care free way we where as a family . I know we are lucky but i cannot help getting angry for putting us in this situation in the first place. Sorry I know we are in such a better place than some but this whole situation is so hard . Take care all of you , hugs xx
Hi all,
Ann what a lovely post. Well my heart is breaking a little more today it being father's Day and still waiting for supervises access to be approved which fingers crossed looks like it will be this week.
So the kids can't see their dad yet. It's been over a month.
I lost my own dad 5 years ago and yesterday I cried like a baby as I laid a plant at his grave...thinking of him, the kids not seeing their dad and how I am going to cope with this whole mess!!
Today I guess I am grateful that I have my kids with me. They will get to speak to their dad on the phone and I am preying they can see him in a few days. As one of you said...so many kids have lost their dads...although this is all such a mess...where there's life there is hope!!
Sending love and strength to all of you amazing ladies Xxxx
Ann what a lovely post. Well my heart is breaking a little more today it being father's Day and still waiting for supervises access to be approved which fingers crossed looks like it will be this week.
So the kids can't see their dad yet. It's been over a month.
I lost my own dad 5 years ago and yesterday I cried like a baby as I laid a plant at his grave...thinking of him, the kids not seeing their dad and how I am going to cope with this whole mess!!
Today I guess I am grateful that I have my kids with me. They will get to speak to their dad on the phone and I am preying they can see him in a few days. As one of you said...so many kids have lost their dads...although this is all such a mess...where there's life there is hope!!
Sending love and strength to all of you amazing ladies Xxxx
Hello all. I am new to the forum so I'm interested in everything you are sharing. What a lovely post about Fathers Day, my husband found it difficult. Fortunately he did see his daughter and grandson but heard nothing from his grown up son. His daughter has been a rock for both of us since all of this started. Xx
September 2019
130 posts
Posted Mon June 22, 2020 2:48pmReport post
That was a lovely post Ann...
For my partner it was another year of no contact or cards from any of his children or grandchildren. I can't fathom why no compassion has been shown and its painful to see him so sad.
He brought up the subject of rewriting his will. He stated that now they no longer want to know him he wants to change who benefits from his death. He also wants clauses incuded which forbid there attendance at his funeral.
Sometimes I just want the world to stop and for us to both go back in time.
Best wishes...
130 posts
Posted Mon June 22, 2020 2:48pmReport post
That was a lovely post Ann...
For my partner it was another year of no contact or cards from any of his children or grandchildren. I can't fathom why no compassion has been shown and its painful to see him so sad.
He brought up the subject of rewriting his will. He stated that now they no longer want to know him he wants to change who benefits from his death. He also wants clauses incuded which forbid there attendance at his funeral.
Sometimes I just want the world to stop and for us to both go back in time.
Best wishes...
On Father's Day, our family was simply holding their breath. It was the day after that when my son (who lives with us now) was due to go to the voluntary Police interview, following 9 months of being Released Under Investigation. We knew it would be make or break for him. On that day I was just glad and grateful that the end seemed to be in sight.
My son had a porn addiction but says he was not aware that he'd downloaded IIOC.
On Monday last week, at the interview the Police told him that they found 8 indecent images. They offered my son the option of admitting guilt and receiving a caution and 2 years on the Sex Offender's Register, OR, to take the matter to court and gamble between worse or better. As he hasn't seen his daughter for 9 months, he thought it was a no brainer. Once there was closure, he could apply to see his daughter. He decided to admit guilt to downloading the 8 images - which he hadn't been shown??
In the end we are more confused than we were before.
Now, a week later, we're all wondering if he's done the right thing. Everyone is saying that being on the SOR probably means the end of any hope of seeing his daughter. He's already experienced awful consequences from being on the SOR, too many to list here.
He's gone from being suicidal 9 months ago, to coping, just. But now he's suicidal again. It all seems a tragedy which we can do nothing about.
Maybe next year I will be able to write a more positive reply to AnnP's lovely question.
My son had a porn addiction but says he was not aware that he'd downloaded IIOC.
On Monday last week, at the interview the Police told him that they found 8 indecent images. They offered my son the option of admitting guilt and receiving a caution and 2 years on the Sex Offender's Register, OR, to take the matter to court and gamble between worse or better. As he hasn't seen his daughter for 9 months, he thought it was a no brainer. Once there was closure, he could apply to see his daughter. He decided to admit guilt to downloading the 8 images - which he hadn't been shown??
In the end we are more confused than we were before.
Now, a week later, we're all wondering if he's done the right thing. Everyone is saying that being on the SOR probably means the end of any hope of seeing his daughter. He's already experienced awful consequences from being on the SOR, too many to list here.
He's gone from being suicidal 9 months ago, to coping, just. But now he's suicidal again. It all seems a tragedy which we can do nothing about.
Maybe next year I will be able to write a more positive reply to AnnP's lovely question.