Just can't cope
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The knock came 6 weeks ago and Im not coping. Apart from my life being completely shattered I feel my husband has threw in a grenade and left me and my kids to rot. We are getting divorced as I know there is so much more on his computer phone than he's saying and is going to plead guilty right away. I honestly thought we were happy everyone did so the fact he's now saying he was isolated depressed is a shock and bizarre as we were making future plans only days before . why did I not see it? He has said he was doing it when I was at work or out. I still love him and misd him terribly how could I not its been 6 weeks he just wants to run move away and leave me to pick up the pieces I'm totally devastated can you lady's give me some hope.x
Hi sweetie , Sorry you have joined us in the group no one wants to join. To start don't make any rash choices or life changing ones. Take care of you. Phone the LF line they are great. Is it IIOC or chats , read the old posts they helped me a lot , i got the knock in March and i realy thought i had everything i could dream of , it knocks you off your feet but you will get through. You are stronger than you think. Keep posting on here , you will get nothing but support from this forum. Hugs xx
Thankyou for replying totallyheartbroken im so sorry this has happened to so many ladies its iioc and chatrooms. they say you dont know what goes on behind closed doors even us wives dont, its like he was living a separate life. he was talking to other woman too im broken i dont think i will ever get up from this. he was my everything. x
Hi Jeanie, I'm so sorry you're joining us here. I think the thing we all have in common is what a massive shock it was to have the knock. The men (it's mostly men) hide their activity really well. My husband is well into therapy and it appears he was using chat rooms as a medication for his stress and anxiety. He never thought he'd be found out and just couldn't stop. He was meeting random women and sex workers too, resulting from the chat room conversations. He was trapped by vigilantes and videoed. This was live streamed. We are now separated, and I don't think I will ever get over the betrayal. He lives quite some way away, and I've been left to deal with the fall out. I bitterly resent him for leaving me to deal with the consequences of his actions. I have lost respect for him too. But I feel sorry for him, and want to support him. I was advised to not make any quick and rash decisions, which 11 months down the line was, I think, good advice. You will find yourself on a rollercoaster of emotions. It really is a very deep grief, but an isolating experience. Friends are helping me through, but it's a lonely place.
This forum is a life saver for me. It's a safe place to download, and there is always someone to give some words of advice, and people who really do understand. Look after yourself. You are not to blame, adults make their own decisions and are responsible for them.x
This forum is a life saver for me. It's a safe place to download, and there is always someone to give some words of advice, and people who really do understand. Look after yourself. You are not to blame, adults make their own decisions and are responsible for them.x
Thank you tabs. Its my husband saying I must divorce him he says I shouldn't have to be associated with someone like him. I know he's remorseful I don't think he met any woman but I don't know he has been living a lie for a few years I am grieving him and our life together he was I thought my happily ever after I'm so sorry your going through this to. Thankgod for this forum to have ladies to talk to x
Yes you will sweetie, we all have , broken and brusied but we all kept going. And slowley it does get easier. The broken and bruised will become scares and always be there but will fade. Hugs xxx