Family and Friends Forum

Hi Tabs

yes I absolutely agree with you! It is truly shocking.

our solicitor has advised do not contact the police, in his words 'it does not hurry the investigation up and just annoys them' which sounds to me like do not annoy them or else! He specialises in these crimes and has many years of experience.
My partner is too scared to contact them as he fears it will make things worse for him so we just wait.

We have been waiting 2 years, nothing, I doubt that the police have even

checked our devices yet.

let us know what you find out about this.

all the best
Mabel x

Hi Mabel

Have the police not checked your devices at all or did they do an initial check and then arrest him based on what they found. It seems shocking to me that 2 years can go past and they haven't even checked your devices

Even after sentencing they can be slow. My partner was very fortunate that the judge agreed for some of the pics of his kids were rescued. Normally all devices with iioc are destroyed.

He had to pay for the service and provide the devices to store the photos. He did this back in September and only got them back a week ago when he had a home visit. He had chased a few times in the early months but gave up. He even provided an envelope and stamp for them to send to him. Not sure if or why they had to hand it over in person.

But yes I do feel that 'chasing' may not speed things up. I know it sounds harsh but when I worked in licensing if someone would chase too much I would not feel motivated to prioritize their application. I tried to be as fair as possible but dealing with multiple cases makes the investigation harder I guess. Need to be more resources for the police and more work to prevent these crimes

Hi all

We are in a similar situation. It is over 16 months since the police left the house with black sacks full of electronic items. Not a word since, which probably means that the devices haven't even been examined. For crimes that receive so much media attention and public outcry, the police do not seem in any hurry to deal with those they arrest.

Hi I have to say the police have been different with us. I actually rang one of the officer who came that first day, and spoke at length with her about the catastrophic effect that had had on my son and my life. She listened and was extremely supportive. She then passed the information on to the lead investigator, who called me Monday, I explained my son was not eating, sleeping, crying etc and worried about how long the process would be. He actually called around to us yesterday as promised and spent an hour going over the whole process (without the report from forensics it was just case scenario). He was so lovely and reassuring . I asked why they don't educate , as I feel the knock was all the punishment my son needed. He agreed and said there would be no benefit from the court system or prison, however it's a criminal offence and the courts will take whatever action they deemed necessary. He has promised to push through for the report and said he hopes to have it by end of July . I was so grateful for his advice, maybe calling them would help. However I do think it varies from region to region, I'm in South Wales xx

Seems to me that they (the policeI are INUNDATED with these offences - internet porn addiction is escalating and proliferting- and that's why we're still waiting, in limbo, 7 months after the knock. We have no young children so aren't prioritised either.

Tutley I'm not sure people with kids get priority. Over a year since the knock some devices back others they can't find anything but will keep trying. A partner denying the allegations I have 2 little ones the whole thing is killing our family maybe that's their intention but the ones getting affected is the kids. I have big decisions to make on the outcome of this and who will be affected the most yes my kids who have done nothing wrong why should things be unsettled and messed up for them?
If he is what they think he is why is he in the home with my kids? No they obviously don't or they don't give 2 sh*ts about my kids.

I know of a local case where person was caught pleaded guilty been to court got sentenced in prison will be back out on probation in shorter time than we have been waiting so far! so this waiting is a sentance in itself.
I would really like to phone them up and tell them what my life is like and they clearly were lying when they said this would be concluded in 6 months. I've lost respect for them and the whole system, although I don't want ss or other professionals in my life I think for them to close my case at the most stressful time of my life is irresponsible. No support from anyone and me and the kids have done absolutely nothing wrong.

I think the police go for easy conviction to keep thier rates up. With lockdown I've read some court cases will take 10 years to get to sentencing, really what's the point? This system needs an overhaul.



sorry to rant you are not alone in thinking you are at the bottom of the pile

This is so awful to hear. The police think this is such a terrible crime and needs punishment yet take ages to do anything. They cant blame it on resources etc. They shouldnt be allowed to invade homes and ruin childrens lives and expect us to wait years for the outcome. I agree the waiting in itself is a sentence for all the family. They should actually take that off the sentence time. My husband's conviction is a 3 year order but with the sex register and 2 year waiting it amounts to 7 years

I live in hope that what he's telling me is true so if he never is charged we've lived like this and what oh nothing no repercussions for the police just my mental health that is down the pan and poor finances loosing everything some people have lost thier jobs thier homes all sorts and not even been charged at least if things were more timely people could get on with thier lives whatever shape that takes.



some days I feel really low I am exhausted from the restrictions. other days I think this whole thing is a complete joke like how can they be that bothered but then we are thrown to the wolves when it comes out in the media.

It's still a joke after being convicted. The professionals act that it's such a serious crime etc etc (whilst I'm not saying it isnt) however on the shpo order has to have mobile checked yet my husband only had it checked twice in a year so are they thinking hes not a risk etc. In my opinion if someone gets convicted then professionals need to be keeping an up to date check on them. Same as probation. Havent heard from her during lockdown even though she could use the phone to keep in contact. Shame they dont liaise properly with ss. One is completely anti it all and the other seems to be relaxed.

Well done Tabs! I really admire you and your courage despite what is going on in your life at the moment.
All I can say is a big thank you???? and we are all behind you 100%



Mabel x x

Hi Summer


I just wondered where you read about court cases taking 10 years please?
That is just beyond ridiculous!




thanks

Mabel x x

Tab you definitely are doing something amazing and we are all behind you. I don't have the energy or strength at the moment only just remembered to get round and insure the car I'm normally on the ball with these type of things.



if you just google court cases taking 10 years it will bring up recent article from the guardian and bbc. Thing is in some cases there will be an actual victim not a decoy and surely they deserve a timely conclusion even if no one cares about us

Hi Tabs

You are doing an amazing job. It is good you find that courage. I second your thoughts about facts should be facts and professionals shouldn't bring their feelings in it. In my case I felt this about SS that they make decisions based on their own feelings rather than on experts evidences while they have no knowledge and training on such offenses.

I have seen various cases here including my husbands case where police said offender is on low risk of re-offending and also no risk to their own kids based on researches but still SS jumps on their own decisions and force offender to leave the house and cause more damage than good to our kids. I am even told by my Sw that management only worries about Ofsted rating than a child.

I am looking to do a complaint against them as i am fed up of their mental torture.

Thanks for you reply Summer, I did google the 10 years article, it is just unbelievable!



Mabel x x

Hopingforthebest, that's interesting. i just had part of my protective assessment done and the SW said, well, 1/3 of child sex abuse is committed by the father or a close relative. And I said, what about online offenses, how often do those cross into physical offenses. And she couldn't answer me.

Cant believe what you are all going through, i feel that i am lucky when i look at your posts, knock on the 13th / 02 charged on the 8th/06 , court on the 6th /8, i live in the midlands, obviousley things move quicker here x