Reeling
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It's been an awful weekend.
36 hours ago, my brother admitted that he'd been arrested for having illegal images.
He's not excusing himself, but the man who said those things yesterday was a broken shell- I suspect he's had a breakdown.
I love him unconditionally and the police have said he's not a risk to my children so I am going to stand by him, as are our other siblings and parents, but I'm so scared about what's going to happen next.
His first court date is September but at the moment he doesn't even know what's been found- he's been in an alcohol/drug fuelled haze since January. (He's now clean and sober) but said there will most likely be category A, B and C
I know no one can advise as every case is unique but I just wanted to reach out to others who may be able to relate to the shock and fear that this revelation brings.
Thanks
36 hours ago, my brother admitted that he'd been arrested for having illegal images.
He's not excusing himself, but the man who said those things yesterday was a broken shell- I suspect he's had a breakdown.
I love him unconditionally and the police have said he's not a risk to my children so I am going to stand by him, as are our other siblings and parents, but I'm so scared about what's going to happen next.
His first court date is September but at the moment he doesn't even know what's been found- he's been in an alcohol/drug fuelled haze since January. (He's now clean and sober) but said there will most likely be category A, B and C
I know no one can advise as every case is unique but I just wanted to reach out to others who may be able to relate to the shock and fear that this revelation brings.
Thanks
Hi just wanted to reply to you as your post sounded in some ways like my sons ,it was just before he was 19 and across all ABC categories, and like your family we all stood by our son and his siblings did also, we were all gutted and so upset but take it from me wen it is all over ,all be it a long wait they can make a new life for themselves with total support, my advice is dont tell anyone outside your family unit if poss, as it's not necessary, gossip spreads like wildfire , my son said to me I'm not a peado, and I hate that word and we dont use it on this forum but I believe him , as you will come to realise lots of males are getting caught up in this situation from kik apps or porn sites , it really has got to stop before more lives are wrecked ,I know it's like a hand grenade has been thrown in your family in the early days but please all take your time it will get better go to speak with your doctors if necessary but I took on board the saying of ww11, careless talk cost lives xxxxxx
Thank you for replying.
I agree with keeping the knowledge close to home. At first my brother wasn't going to tell us (he lives the other end of the country and only comes down a couple of times a year anyway so could have kept it to himself) but I'm glad he did.
He wanted it to just be the siblings that knew but we had to tell our partners as we all have children and we felt they had a right to know as the children all spend time with their uncle. It would have been worse if the partners found out later on...
My mum isn't happy we went against my brothers wishes but she's protecting her son whereas we are protecting our marriages and children as well as our brother. The call to one of my siblings from social services yesterday was very upsetting to all involved. (I'm waiting for mine now)
I hope we've done the right thing.
Thanks again for sharing your story with me- much of it sounds very familiar.
I agree with keeping the knowledge close to home. At first my brother wasn't going to tell us (he lives the other end of the country and only comes down a couple of times a year anyway so could have kept it to himself) but I'm glad he did.
He wanted it to just be the siblings that knew but we had to tell our partners as we all have children and we felt they had a right to know as the children all spend time with their uncle. It would have been worse if the partners found out later on...
My mum isn't happy we went against my brothers wishes but she's protecting her son whereas we are protecting our marriages and children as well as our brother. The call to one of my siblings from social services yesterday was very upsetting to all involved. (I'm waiting for mine now)
I hope we've done the right thing.
Thanks again for sharing your story with me- much of it sounds very familiar.
If it's any consolation I didn't really want my daughter to share with her partner but she said she didn't feel right keeping it from him and they have 2 children , my daughters partner is absolutely fine about my brother visiting but we would never allow my son to be in a room alone with the kids just incase any misunderstandings, not that he goes there alot,mainly xmas and birthdays, I think with us mums it's really difficult because I kept thinking where did I go wrong in his upbringing etc and blaming myself , and we only ever want the best for our children ,then suddenly you feel their futures over before its begun , my son also told us he was gay wen he was arrested , please take care of yourself and pass a hug to your mum from me xx