My story
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hello everyone, I stumbled across this forum accidentally. Thought for a while whether I should join or not. I guess everyone’s story is different. Here’s mine.
Ill try to be helpful, I’m almost five years in so have a lot to say about this subject, not all positive towards the authorities which may upset some people but I’ll try to keep that to myself wherever I can.
The one one thing I will say is that I think it’s disgusting that society treats us in the way it does. Shaming and finger pointing and discriminating an innocent group of people in the way it does. I hope that this attitude from ordinary members of society can be challenged positively. More on that later I guess.
My story started with the ‘knock’ as does most people. All my family were arrested, we spent the night in the police cells. Totally unnecessary in my opinion. I was taken from the police cells in an ambulance having reacted so badly to it.
Husband eventually charged with just over single figures and went to court. He completely denied the charges and intended on the advice of the solicitor to challenge the categorisation of the cat c images. The second forensic examiner for the prosecution dropped the number to less than on one hand. However after a series of errors and applications to dismiss the case the Judge challenged the prosecution to come up with the goods so to speak. The CPS came back with no evidence and my husband was formally recorded as not guilty.
The end?
No, then the nightmare got worse.
You see we were both social work professionals. We had a further 3 years of total hell. Professional investigations followed. I had to leave my job when it became clear none of my colleagues could or would work with me. Although there was no case to answer for me I knew it was over. I loved my job. Whilst I was very sad I knew I didn’t want to be a part of a profession that over simplified and judged so harshly in cases such as this. My husband was struck off in a very public, humiliating way. He did not attend his hearing, he was just totally worn out with it all. None of the defence material submitted for his hearing was read out publicly, whereas the police version of events was. The press had a field day.
The recriminations were horrendous and just when things had began to settle down some kind soul set up a fake Facebook account and outed us all again. I’ve had terrible things said about me publicly and there’s nothing we can do about it.
How I’ve survived it I do not know. Just take things day by day.
There are many things I like to have happened differently. Like I say they way we are treated by society. I’d like to see innocent members of offenders (it doesn’t matter a jot if you’re found not guilty) treated as a ‘protected characteristic’ in law.
I’d also like to see the use of the label ‘paedophile’ limited to use by a fully accredited, trained professional. Not used by any general member of the public or self styled ‘experts’ such as untrained social workers, police or any other professional who know a dangerously little bit about the subject.
I could go on but I could write a book I really could.
Hope you’ve all had the best Christmas you can have.
Thank god for places like this.
Ill try to be helpful, I’m almost five years in so have a lot to say about this subject, not all positive towards the authorities which may upset some people but I’ll try to keep that to myself wherever I can.
The one one thing I will say is that I think it’s disgusting that society treats us in the way it does. Shaming and finger pointing and discriminating an innocent group of people in the way it does. I hope that this attitude from ordinary members of society can be challenged positively. More on that later I guess.
My story started with the ‘knock’ as does most people. All my family were arrested, we spent the night in the police cells. Totally unnecessary in my opinion. I was taken from the police cells in an ambulance having reacted so badly to it.
Husband eventually charged with just over single figures and went to court. He completely denied the charges and intended on the advice of the solicitor to challenge the categorisation of the cat c images. The second forensic examiner for the prosecution dropped the number to less than on one hand. However after a series of errors and applications to dismiss the case the Judge challenged the prosecution to come up with the goods so to speak. The CPS came back with no evidence and my husband was formally recorded as not guilty.
The end?
No, then the nightmare got worse.
You see we were both social work professionals. We had a further 3 years of total hell. Professional investigations followed. I had to leave my job when it became clear none of my colleagues could or would work with me. Although there was no case to answer for me I knew it was over. I loved my job. Whilst I was very sad I knew I didn’t want to be a part of a profession that over simplified and judged so harshly in cases such as this. My husband was struck off in a very public, humiliating way. He did not attend his hearing, he was just totally worn out with it all. None of the defence material submitted for his hearing was read out publicly, whereas the police version of events was. The press had a field day.
The recriminations were horrendous and just when things had began to settle down some kind soul set up a fake Facebook account and outed us all again. I’ve had terrible things said about me publicly and there’s nothing we can do about it.
How I’ve survived it I do not know. Just take things day by day.
There are many things I like to have happened differently. Like I say they way we are treated by society. I’d like to see innocent members of offenders (it doesn’t matter a jot if you’re found not guilty) treated as a ‘protected characteristic’ in law.
I’d also like to see the use of the label ‘paedophile’ limited to use by a fully accredited, trained professional. Not used by any general member of the public or self styled ‘experts’ such as untrained social workers, police or any other professional who know a dangerously little bit about the subject.
I could go on but I could write a book I really could.
Hope you’ve all had the best Christmas you can have.
Thank god for places like this.
Thanks for sharing you story and hope you get some support from here i find this forum helps xx
Thanks for your reply. I do wish that there were forums like this when it all kicked off for us. I’ve had a couple of e mail contacts with wives/partners in similar situations. They really prevented me from killing myself on occasions.
One of the issues I’ve had to cope with is the totally conflicting ‘evidence’ of the prosecution and defence, totally opposing views. I guess they’re only doing their jobs. The disciplinary investigations were carried out to appalling standards with one Aim in mind, to get rid of us.
I don’t want to sound negative, I’m not in reality! I would like to be able to Ely anyone and have said for a long time something like this is needed for a very vulnerable group of people .... us! Both victims of the crime and victims of the overwhelming criminal and civil system when we’ve done nothing wrong. I’ll keep a look out for posts where I think I can help.
One of the issues I’ve had to cope with is the totally conflicting ‘evidence’ of the prosecution and defence, totally opposing views. I guess they’re only doing their jobs. The disciplinary investigations were carried out to appalling standards with one Aim in mind, to get rid of us.
I don’t want to sound negative, I’m not in reality! I would like to be able to Ely anyone and have said for a long time something like this is needed for a very vulnerable group of people .... us! Both victims of the crime and victims of the overwhelming criminal and civil system when we’ve done nothing wrong. I’ll keep a look out for posts where I think I can help.
Sorry, doing this on my phone, not the easiest. I meant ‘help’ people, not Ely!