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Hard life choices

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Hurt123

Member since
May 2020

17 posts

Posted Tue July 7, 2020 10:27amReport post

Hi everyone.

My husband (30) was arrested 2 months ago now for possession of IIOC across all three categories. There were images and videos and he has admitted to watching them for sexual gratification as he is sexually attracted to children of all ages I think but mainly under 12 from what I can gather and has been his whole life. He said he looked at the images as his urges took over but he could never actually make contact with a child. I'm devestated to hear this. We have a small child too. On the one hand I love him so much I want to help him through this and he says he loves me and that he has all the feelings for me except sexual ones. It's a hard pill to swallow and as much as I really want that future together still I don't know that will look like now I know how he really feels. I keep going through every scenario and it's driving me mad. It hit the media a couple of weeks ago so he will have to move away. I'm heartbroken, confused and honestly don't know what to do for the best. It would be nice to hear if anyone else's family members have admitted to these same feelings and if they chose to stay or if its just too much.

Hopingforbest

Member since
February 2020

69 posts

Posted Tue July 7, 2020 9:31pmReport post

Hi Hurt123

I am so sorry about your situation.I wish i could give you answers but this is really a very complex question. One thing which is good that he admits the fact that he have the attraction rather than hiding it so it will be easy for him to get help from professionals as he is not in denial.

My husband also have this attraction but his attraction is not exclusive to child. He is attracted to adult women too which he was not aware at the time of his offenses in his early 20s. After his offenses he did a treatment program during his probation when he finds out about his attraction to adult women as it was something he didn't want to think about prior to his offenses for various reasons.

I can imagine how it must be killing you knowing that your husband have this attraction. I have asked by various professionals that how does i feel when my husband admits to this fact which is really a tough thing to answer. But as i know this is a part of him and no one choose to have this attraction. There is help out there where they will teach him about the coping strategies of how to deal with this fantasies and how not to act on it. I hope he will get all the help available.