Lost and concerned
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So we all know the drill the police turn up drop the bomb search your house and call social services a few hours after the police left the social worker turns up and says I need to know if you are capable of protecting your children or if they should be removed now bearing in mind I'm still in shock and disbelief when she asks me "what would you like to see happen next" I reply "my husband home and this to have been a mistake"she immediately says well that's not a child friendly answer I've been married 16 years and never thought anything like this was possible I can't just suddenly turn off my love I have no confirmation from him what's happened he has told the police he is now about to kill himself so I'm worried and the social worker is in disbelief why I want to talk to him my children are frantic that Dad has gone and they might be next after 6 sleepless nights the social worker who is young new and keen is still on what seems like the war path I try and clear the air by telling her I now know the truth and the police have said I can supervise access to which she says there's no access and you won't be supervising it I will consult my manager on what will happen and let you know in the meantime as I work with children I've had to disclose to my work place and now no longer have a job so I've no job no money possibly no house as no way of paying no husband and a threat of no children and I've done absolutely nothing wrong my husband viewed images now I'm the devil because I still talk to him I've no idea where to turn the police have a different view on it all I cannot bear the thought of them taking away my children what has happened to others during this is there some hope in this nightmare please
I am so sorry that you find yourself here. I am a wife but have no children or grandchildren so can't help with regards to Social Services. There are many lovely and brave women on here who are in your position, and I am sure they will be able to offer you advice.
I just felt I needed to respond to you. I remember very well the early days of total shock, horror and confusion. Just take each day at a time. I was advised not to take any big decisions quickly. If you haven't already call the helpline, they are very helpful. I have cried down the phone on many occasions. They understand and can help you.
The format of this forum has changed recently and it's now harder to see who has recently posted, and who is a new poster, so we are not responding as quickly as we used to, but you will get more responses soon. We are all here for each other and do not make judgments. Everyone has their own journey to take. There is no right and no wrong here.
Sadly we are the forgotten victims in all of this on line activity mess.
Sending you a big virtual hug xxx
I just felt I needed to respond to you. I remember very well the early days of total shock, horror and confusion. Just take each day at a time. I was advised not to take any big decisions quickly. If you haven't already call the helpline, they are very helpful. I have cried down the phone on many occasions. They understand and can help you.
The format of this forum has changed recently and it's now harder to see who has recently posted, and who is a new poster, so we are not responding as quickly as we used to, but you will get more responses soon. We are all here for each other and do not make judgments. Everyone has their own journey to take. There is no right and no wrong here.
Sadly we are the forgotten victims in all of this on line activity mess.
Sending you a big virtual hug xxx
Gosh how awful. A lot of us here can sadly relate to most of what you are going through. You definitely need to call the helpline and get some proper advice. I'm pretty sure you can't lose your job over this. That's outrageous. Also, you can certainly request another SW. I found SS really difficult and one of the hardest things to manage. Unfortunately they can decide if your partner has any contact with your children - it's not up to the police. Actually I found that it was our SW's manager that decided ultimately what was to happen - and we had never even met her!
My husband has been allowed daily supervised contact from very early on but we have a limited number of hours. You have to convince SS that your children come first and that you would do nothing to compromise their safety.
Its a hideous time and it does get slightly easier but it seems that there is one hurdle after another to jump. Take one day at a time and don't make any life changing decisions. Big hugs xx
My husband has been allowed daily supervised contact from very early on but we have a limited number of hours. You have to convince SS that your children come first and that you would do nothing to compromise their safety.
Its a hideous time and it does get slightly easier but it seems that there is one hurdle after another to jump. Take one day at a time and don't make any life changing decisions. Big hugs xx