Stuck in Limbo
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My dad's court case has slowed down because of COVID-19, I had 4 months at home in self isolation and have now been back at work for 3 weeks. I don't know if being alone wasn't better than being back at work and having to pretend everything is fine.
When he was arrested the police leaked the details to the newspapers here despite the hearings all being done in a closed court and there being an injunction against that as our surname is so unusual we're probably the only ones here with it and for a while people were talking about me, about him, and not contacting me at all. Slowly I've received some support from people, I wasn't sure how people would react and it's been a very mixed bag from people avoiding me, people blaming me, and people feeling sorry for me. Hardly anyone has just been normal around me and it's so hard when I was self isolating it was, well, easier. I didn't have to worry about bumping into anyone who knew or watch them hurriedly cross the road to avoid me.
The prison has been closed for visits and we aren't allowed to send any items or money which is proving difficult because I don't trust the bank transfer system and who has chequebooks nowadays? I hate feeling so useless.
I feel like I'm just stuck in this awful holding pattern, not believing it has happened, not knowing when the court case will continue, not knowing what will happen if he is convicted. For a while I was dealing but I'm hitting a low again, I don't know where to turn and even with the people who know about it because of the court case I just don't know how to talk to them. I was already a social recluse this is making me worse.
Anyone have advice on trying to make things normal again? Or how do you go about interacting with people who know that dad has been charged with it?
When he was arrested the police leaked the details to the newspapers here despite the hearings all being done in a closed court and there being an injunction against that as our surname is so unusual we're probably the only ones here with it and for a while people were talking about me, about him, and not contacting me at all. Slowly I've received some support from people, I wasn't sure how people would react and it's been a very mixed bag from people avoiding me, people blaming me, and people feeling sorry for me. Hardly anyone has just been normal around me and it's so hard when I was self isolating it was, well, easier. I didn't have to worry about bumping into anyone who knew or watch them hurriedly cross the road to avoid me.
The prison has been closed for visits and we aren't allowed to send any items or money which is proving difficult because I don't trust the bank transfer system and who has chequebooks nowadays? I hate feeling so useless.
I feel like I'm just stuck in this awful holding pattern, not believing it has happened, not knowing when the court case will continue, not knowing what will happen if he is convicted. For a while I was dealing but I'm hitting a low again, I don't know where to turn and even with the people who know about it because of the court case I just don't know how to talk to them. I was already a social recluse this is making me worse.
Anyone have advice on trying to make things normal again? Or how do you go about interacting with people who know that dad has been charged with it?
Hi
sorry to hear about the issues you are having.
i can't really advise you on the people around you because I feel the exact same way as you do and my position has been similar to yours.
as far as sending money into prison goes, I can advise you. There was no bank transfer option here in Scotland for the first six weeks of lockdown. We bought and sent uncrossed postal orders which worked fine. They are a bit expensive but they work and that's what mattered to us.
after six weeks they started the bank transfer option. I was terrified to try it but bit the bullet. I can honestly say if you follow what it tells you to the exact it works with no issues. I've used it four times now and it's been fine. One thing though, make sure if you use it you do not put more than fifty pounds each time. I forgot that rule and put sixty one time . I then had to wait for the money to reach the prison and they then sent it back to my bank account. It takes a week which was a pain but I couldn't complain as it was my mistake x
sorry to hear about the issues you are having.
i can't really advise you on the people around you because I feel the exact same way as you do and my position has been similar to yours.
as far as sending money into prison goes, I can advise you. There was no bank transfer option here in Scotland for the first six weeks of lockdown. We bought and sent uncrossed postal orders which worked fine. They are a bit expensive but they work and that's what mattered to us.
after six weeks they started the bank transfer option. I was terrified to try it but bit the bullet. I can honestly say if you follow what it tells you to the exact it works with no issues. I've used it four times now and it's been fine. One thing though, make sure if you use it you do not put more than fifty pounds each time. I forgot that rule and put sixty one time . I then had to wait for the money to reach the prison and they then sent it back to my bank account. It takes a week which was a pain but I couldn't complain as it was my mistake x