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Hello,
I am an adult survivor of child sexual abuse that was perpetrated by an older brother, who was successfully charged and found guilty in 2017. I had a large family, but when I reported what happened to the police, all but one member of my family disowned me, and then they made my life hell in revenge.
The only person who stuck by me is my brother, who is 46 years old but has learning disabilities. He is very naive and young for his age, but as with most people his age, has a normal to high sex drive, and because he doesn't go out much and meet people, he uses the internet to watch pornography, and uses chat rooms and messenger to send explicit messages with other adults. I do not approve of what he does and I've tried to steer him away from it, because I think he is very gullible, and doesn't think about what he's doing, but I can't stop him.
Just over a year ago, we were raided by the police, they arrested him for distributing indecent images of children, they confiscated all of our computer equipment for examination, and questioned him. I was his appropriate adult, and it relates to a video that was uploaded a year previous to his arrest.
I have no doubt in my mind that he is innocent of intentionally committing this crime, he is not very good at hiding things, and has never shown any interest in children, in actual fact when I previously looked at his internet search history, he was looking for large older women. He is also not intellectually capable of doing what hes accused of, as it involves torrent sharing, and he doesn't even know what the term means.
But, it's a year on, we still have not had any further information, they still have all of our electronic equipment, and I'm surprised I've not been hospitalised by the amount of stress I'm under, from the constant worry of it all. I have no one to talk to, and I'm terrified they will find something on his computer that he's been sent by someone else, I'm terrified he'll go to prison, and he's never even had a parking ticket, let alone broken the law, I think if that happened I would die of a broken heart and worry, he is more like a son than a brother, and I'm so scared for him. We also lost our Dad at Easter this year, to COVID-19.
Sorry for the long rambling post.
I am an adult survivor of child sexual abuse that was perpetrated by an older brother, who was successfully charged and found guilty in 2017. I had a large family, but when I reported what happened to the police, all but one member of my family disowned me, and then they made my life hell in revenge.
The only person who stuck by me is my brother, who is 46 years old but has learning disabilities. He is very naive and young for his age, but as with most people his age, has a normal to high sex drive, and because he doesn't go out much and meet people, he uses the internet to watch pornography, and uses chat rooms and messenger to send explicit messages with other adults. I do not approve of what he does and I've tried to steer him away from it, because I think he is very gullible, and doesn't think about what he's doing, but I can't stop him.
Just over a year ago, we were raided by the police, they arrested him for distributing indecent images of children, they confiscated all of our computer equipment for examination, and questioned him. I was his appropriate adult, and it relates to a video that was uploaded a year previous to his arrest.
I have no doubt in my mind that he is innocent of intentionally committing this crime, he is not very good at hiding things, and has never shown any interest in children, in actual fact when I previously looked at his internet search history, he was looking for large older women. He is also not intellectually capable of doing what hes accused of, as it involves torrent sharing, and he doesn't even know what the term means.
But, it's a year on, we still have not had any further information, they still have all of our electronic equipment, and I'm surprised I've not been hospitalised by the amount of stress I'm under, from the constant worry of it all. I have no one to talk to, and I'm terrified they will find something on his computer that he's been sent by someone else, I'm terrified he'll go to prison, and he's never even had a parking ticket, let alone broken the law, I think if that happened I would die of a broken heart and worry, he is more like a son than a brother, and I'm so scared for him. We also lost our Dad at Easter this year, to COVID-19.
Sorry for the long rambling post.
Hi Baabaarah
Sorry to hear how upset you are.
Could your brother be medically assessed by a professional to help the police understand who he is?
I think I'm slowly learning from being on here the police don't give 2 hoots how long this process takes, the stress it puts on the family members around the accused etc.
The Internet needs porn taken off altogether I think. Its the root of a lot of evil.
I have recently found myself in this group and talking on the phone to Lucy foundation has really helped me come to terms with it.
Sending you a hug
Yaz x
Sorry to hear how upset you are.
Could your brother be medically assessed by a professional to help the police understand who he is?
I think I'm slowly learning from being on here the police don't give 2 hoots how long this process takes, the stress it puts on the family members around the accused etc.
The Internet needs porn taken off altogether I think. Its the root of a lot of evil.
I have recently found myself in this group and talking on the phone to Lucy foundation has really helped me come to terms with it.
Sending you a hug
Yaz x
I totally agree with Yaz about removing all porn from the Internet, there is so much the men get desensitised from it, more should be done track the people who are putting it there in the first place and finding and protecting the people who are abused and course the men In our lives need to be dealt with and their motives treated.
Unfortunately all you can do is wait and see what your brother is charged with, there are not many defences to these online offences but there is " lack of knowledge" as your brother has learning problems as you say he may have done something which he didn't intend to do.
The waiting is endless and I understand how stressed you are and your lack of support from your family and your own past will be dreadful.
Does your brother have any new devices which he can access the Internet on? If you haven't done it already you should put child locks on the Internet and on the devices.
These lovely ladies will support you I just wish I had come on here sooner but even that takes courage and strength.
Stay strong.
Jx
Unfortunately all you can do is wait and see what your brother is charged with, there are not many defences to these online offences but there is " lack of knowledge" as your brother has learning problems as you say he may have done something which he didn't intend to do.
The waiting is endless and I understand how stressed you are and your lack of support from your family and your own past will be dreadful.
Does your brother have any new devices which he can access the Internet on? If you haven't done it already you should put child locks on the Internet and on the devices.
These lovely ladies will support you I just wish I had come on here sooner but even that takes courage and strength.
Stay strong.
Jx