What now?
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Hi everyone. I'm new here. I posted yesterday but my head is all over the place at the moment - I read it back and decided it didn't make much sense so I'm starting again ...
it's 10 days since we had 'the knock' the police turned up at mine and my partners home with a warrant to search the house and take away electronic devices. My own phone and my iPad they checked here on the day and didn't take away. However my partners iPad iPhone and laptop were taken. The main police officer on the investigation dropped his iPad and iPhone back two days later, but said laptops take longer to go through, although hasn't given any indication how long.
when they arrived here I was in complete shock as they told me why they were there, my partner a little less shocked. I still cannot believe this is happening. They said it was reported to them (I guess by our internet provider) that iioc are associated with our IP address.
I have been with my partner almost 10 years. I've known for a long time he likes lots of sorts of porn (although none illegal and definitely not involving children) and I had no issue over the years thinking he is watching and downloading porn
his explanation to me is that on these file sharing sites hes used (and used for years), is that you don't always know what you're getting until it's downloaded. He tells me he has opened downloaded images in the past, realised they were probably iioc (although says with the sort of stuff he's seen it can sometimes be hard to tell - ie. these aren't really young children), and so deleted them and never saved any. I've read about the a/b/c types through my own research and from what he tells me it sounds like mostly b & c stuff.
ive begged him to tell me if what he's saying is the truth - I've said I need to know if he feels he's addicted to porn, if he's ever intentionally downloaded iioc or if he has any attraction to children and he says not. And I do believe him. He's not usually one to lie to me and he's a good guy - I think he has just been very stupid.
HOWEVER, I am obviously extremely worried. He thinks the main issue could be that apparently with these sharing sites (I could be wrong, I'm not technical and I don't use them, it's only how he's explained it to me) when you downloaded something the same thing uploads at the same time (so it looks as though anything he's downloaded has been also distributed). I'm not certain but could it be looked at as he's not in possession of these images (as never saved any), but as they've uploaded he's distributed (which would be worse than possessing?)
he wasn't arrested when the police came round. They said they would check the devices and if there's anything on them they feel they need to discuss with him they will invite him in? I am going out of my mind worrying about what will happen next, I'm so scared this could ruin our lives. We have no children but he has 3 grown up children and I'm worried sick about them (and everyone else) finding out
has anyone been in a similar situation? I've got no one to talk to as I feel once I start describing the situation to a family or friend that they wouldn't be understanding.
im so scared and I've no idea how long we may have to wait to find out if they've any issues with the laptop :( please help?
it's 10 days since we had 'the knock' the police turned up at mine and my partners home with a warrant to search the house and take away electronic devices. My own phone and my iPad they checked here on the day and didn't take away. However my partners iPad iPhone and laptop were taken. The main police officer on the investigation dropped his iPad and iPhone back two days later, but said laptops take longer to go through, although hasn't given any indication how long.
when they arrived here I was in complete shock as they told me why they were there, my partner a little less shocked. I still cannot believe this is happening. They said it was reported to them (I guess by our internet provider) that iioc are associated with our IP address.
I have been with my partner almost 10 years. I've known for a long time he likes lots of sorts of porn (although none illegal and definitely not involving children) and I had no issue over the years thinking he is watching and downloading porn
his explanation to me is that on these file sharing sites hes used (and used for years), is that you don't always know what you're getting until it's downloaded. He tells me he has opened downloaded images in the past, realised they were probably iioc (although says with the sort of stuff he's seen it can sometimes be hard to tell - ie. these aren't really young children), and so deleted them and never saved any. I've read about the a/b/c types through my own research and from what he tells me it sounds like mostly b & c stuff.
ive begged him to tell me if what he's saying is the truth - I've said I need to know if he feels he's addicted to porn, if he's ever intentionally downloaded iioc or if he has any attraction to children and he says not. And I do believe him. He's not usually one to lie to me and he's a good guy - I think he has just been very stupid.
HOWEVER, I am obviously extremely worried. He thinks the main issue could be that apparently with these sharing sites (I could be wrong, I'm not technical and I don't use them, it's only how he's explained it to me) when you downloaded something the same thing uploads at the same time (so it looks as though anything he's downloaded has been also distributed). I'm not certain but could it be looked at as he's not in possession of these images (as never saved any), but as they've uploaded he's distributed (which would be worse than possessing?)
he wasn't arrested when the police came round. They said they would check the devices and if there's anything on them they feel they need to discuss with him they will invite him in? I am going out of my mind worrying about what will happen next, I'm so scared this could ruin our lives. We have no children but he has 3 grown up children and I'm worried sick about them (and everyone else) finding out
has anyone been in a similar situation? I've got no one to talk to as I feel once I start describing the situation to a family or friend that they wouldn't be understanding.
im so scared and I've no idea how long we may have to wait to find out if they've any issues with the laptop :( please help?
Hi Sasha,
No advice from me really but just wanted to let you know this sounds very similar to my situation. Got the knock Wednesday, partner's phone, PC were taken away (ipad was checked but left with us).
My partner wasn't using file sharing sites but a microblogging site where he reposted (like retweeting on twitter or sharing on FB - so not uploading it personally just sharing a post someone else has made) mainly consensual nudes/standard adult pornography but says he found himself going down rabbit holes on "auto pilot" - that he never really realised what he was doing until he'd done it and come off and gave himself a slap. Also that everything seems to fall under cat C.
So, unfortunately no advice but just wanted to let you know you're not alone x
No advice from me really but just wanted to let you know this sounds very similar to my situation. Got the knock Wednesday, partner's phone, PC were taken away (ipad was checked but left with us).
My partner wasn't using file sharing sites but a microblogging site where he reposted (like retweeting on twitter or sharing on FB - so not uploading it personally just sharing a post someone else has made) mainly consensual nudes/standard adult pornography but says he found himself going down rabbit holes on "auto pilot" - that he never really realised what he was doing until he'd done it and come off and gave himself a slap. Also that everything seems to fall under cat C.
So, unfortunately no advice but just wanted to let you know you're not alone x
Hi LC
So sorry to hear you’re going through this too! What a horrible nightmare!
Did your police give any indication how long it would take to check his computer? Ours didn’t but from things I read on this forum it sounds like it could be ages! Our situations definitely sound very similar! Thank you for positing back to me... as awful as this situation is it’s really helped knowing I’m not alone
Hi lee1969
Thank you so much for advice... i found it weird they said they’ve ‘invite him in on an appointment basis’ if required.. I can’t work out why they wouldn’t just come and arrest him. Anyhow! He did say he thinks If he has to go in he’d need a solicitor- I hadn’t thought of ringing round any though so it’s something I could perhaps do next week... along with calling the helpline! I wasn’t sure at first but reading this forum it sounds like the helpline has been so useful for many
So sorry to hear you’re going through this too! What a horrible nightmare!
Did your police give any indication how long it would take to check his computer? Ours didn’t but from things I read on this forum it sounds like it could be ages! Our situations definitely sound very similar! Thank you for positing back to me... as awful as this situation is it’s really helped knowing I’m not alone
Hi lee1969
Thank you so much for advice... i found it weird they said they’ve ‘invite him in on an appointment basis’ if required.. I can’t work out why they wouldn’t just come and arrest him. Anyhow! He did say he thinks If he has to go in he’d need a solicitor- I hadn’t thought of ringing round any though so it’s something I could perhaps do next week... along with calling the helpline! I wasn’t sure at first but reading this forum it sounds like the helpline has been so useful for many
Hi Sashadill
My partner was arrested for iioc using a file sharing site... (peer to peer) P2P. Police recovered a handful of images 5 in total on all three categories... He was sentenced to 12 months in prison, suspended for 2 years. Also given 10 year sex registration and SHPO.
He had since told me that unless you block the file sharing site from uploading your files they will automatically be sent to others searching for porn material.
He has also said that the anomaly with P2P sharing is the use of key words... For instance he typed in tiny school girl costumes... However by doing this any files with the names... tiny... school... girl...or costumes were made viewable.
This is absolutely no excuse for what he has done but simply highlights the dangers of P2P sites ...
Best wishes..
My partner was arrested for iioc using a file sharing site... (peer to peer) P2P. Police recovered a handful of images 5 in total on all three categories... He was sentenced to 12 months in prison, suspended for 2 years. Also given 10 year sex registration and SHPO.
He had since told me that unless you block the file sharing site from uploading your files they will automatically be sent to others searching for porn material.
He has also said that the anomaly with P2P sharing is the use of key words... For instance he typed in tiny school girl costumes... However by doing this any files with the names... tiny... school... girl...or costumes were made viewable.
This is absolutely no excuse for what he has done but simply highlights the dangers of P2P sites ...
Best wishes..
Hi Sasha,
It seems to vary a lot by area - how busy the police are etc. They did say to us that the PC and hard drive/usb sticks etc will come back sooner, they said possibly a few days and took my number as a contact to ensure someone will be in when they come round to drop them back (not sure if that's standard protocol or just for during COVID), but the phone can take months.
I think a lot of it comes down to what they find as they're searching the devices. I've accepted that this has happened and whatever the outcome will be it's deserved, but the waiting game is the killer here! xx
It seems to vary a lot by area - how busy the police are etc. They did say to us that the PC and hard drive/usb sticks etc will come back sooner, they said possibly a few days and took my number as a contact to ensure someone will be in when they come round to drop them back (not sure if that's standard protocol or just for during COVID), but the phone can take months.
I think a lot of it comes down to what they find as they're searching the devices. I've accepted that this has happened and whatever the outcome will be it's deserved, but the waiting game is the killer here! xx
Hi snowdrop
Thank you for replying to me. Our situations sound very similar. How long ago did all this happen for you?
I think my partner is hoping because he shredded the images they won’t find anything, the only things saved to his computer is legal porn - but I’ve told him they’ll be able to find anything that’s ever been visable on there! Had your partner deleted his? I’m just wondering if it’s classed as possession if they’ve been deleted?
It worries me because he says iioc related stuff has popped up occasionally for years - as long as he’s been downloading porn!
He said the same as your partner regarding file names... he said sometimes files can be named anything and it’s only when you download and open them you see what they are - definitely does highlight how dangerous they are!
I agree there’s no excuse for this.... I said to him if it had of been me I wouldn’t of gone near file sharing after the first time it happened! He agrees he’s been stupid in not doing that and is remorseful.. to be honest I don’t think he ever wants to go near a file sharing site again after the knock! - but I’m worried it’s a bit late now for good intentions! :(
Hi LC
It’s strange because our phones were very quick to be returned but they said the laptop would take longer. My partner did hint to them that he may have seen things he shouldn’t of on the laptop so maybe that’s why they want to spend longer on that particular device! Did yours admit much to the police? Mines phone and iPad were back with us two days later.
I agree it will depend what’s found. My partner said he’s got quite a lot of (legal) porn saved which I guess they will have to go through to make sure nothing is illegal but it just depends I suppose how in depth the search is. I also think I’m coming to accept it’s happening now and my partner is too. I’m just praying the outcome isn’t too bad. Like you say the waiting game is the worst when you’ve just got no idea how long you’re going to be waiting :(
Thank you for replying to me. Our situations sound very similar. How long ago did all this happen for you?
I think my partner is hoping because he shredded the images they won’t find anything, the only things saved to his computer is legal porn - but I’ve told him they’ll be able to find anything that’s ever been visable on there! Had your partner deleted his? I’m just wondering if it’s classed as possession if they’ve been deleted?
It worries me because he says iioc related stuff has popped up occasionally for years - as long as he’s been downloading porn!
He said the same as your partner regarding file names... he said sometimes files can be named anything and it’s only when you download and open them you see what they are - definitely does highlight how dangerous they are!
I agree there’s no excuse for this.... I said to him if it had of been me I wouldn’t of gone near file sharing after the first time it happened! He agrees he’s been stupid in not doing that and is remorseful.. to be honest I don’t think he ever wants to go near a file sharing site again after the knock! - but I’m worried it’s a bit late now for good intentions! :(
Hi LC
It’s strange because our phones were very quick to be returned but they said the laptop would take longer. My partner did hint to them that he may have seen things he shouldn’t of on the laptop so maybe that’s why they want to spend longer on that particular device! Did yours admit much to the police? Mines phone and iPad were back with us two days later.
I agree it will depend what’s found. My partner said he’s got quite a lot of (legal) porn saved which I guess they will have to go through to make sure nothing is illegal but it just depends I suppose how in depth the search is. I also think I’m coming to accept it’s happening now and my partner is too. I’m just praying the outcome isn’t too bad. Like you say the waiting game is the worst when you’ve just got no idea how long you’re going to be waiting :(
Sasha,
Ah maybe that's why? My partner said most of his was done on his phone as he was using an app. His PC was in a very obvious position in the living room which I could see clearly, and we very rarely had enough time apart for him to have used the PC for much "no good" stuff, whereas on a phone of course he can hide it much easier even if we were sat on the sofa together. The PC is also quite new while this case is from activity towards the end of 2019 (his account on the site he was using got closed down in Jan/Feb and he's not done anything with it since) so there wouldn't be much on there anyway.
He's been very open and honest, and the police even said they really respect him for not hiding anything from them. I think they have pretty good gut instincts on these things, and my partner made a stupid mistake but he himself isn't stupid - he knows hiding and lying won't help so I have no doubt that everything he said was true, and he never tripped up on his story.
He did say that there should be nothing stored on his devices currently - he kept saying he was in almost a trance and wasn't aware of what he was doing until he'd stopped and stepped back, if he did save anything he deleted it almost immediately, so hopefully that will work in his favour (obviously not condoning it at all, but it should show that he had remorse, was trying to stop and recognised that he shouldn't have been doing it).
My partner has taken it pretty hard, I'm trying to be strong and support us both and I'm sure he'll start coming to terms with it soon, I'm just hoping it won't drag on as long as some cases seem to do.
Ah maybe that's why? My partner said most of his was done on his phone as he was using an app. His PC was in a very obvious position in the living room which I could see clearly, and we very rarely had enough time apart for him to have used the PC for much "no good" stuff, whereas on a phone of course he can hide it much easier even if we were sat on the sofa together. The PC is also quite new while this case is from activity towards the end of 2019 (his account on the site he was using got closed down in Jan/Feb and he's not done anything with it since) so there wouldn't be much on there anyway.
He's been very open and honest, and the police even said they really respect him for not hiding anything from them. I think they have pretty good gut instincts on these things, and my partner made a stupid mistake but he himself isn't stupid - he knows hiding and lying won't help so I have no doubt that everything he said was true, and he never tripped up on his story.
He did say that there should be nothing stored on his devices currently - he kept saying he was in almost a trance and wasn't aware of what he was doing until he'd stopped and stepped back, if he did save anything he deleted it almost immediately, so hopefully that will work in his favour (obviously not condoning it at all, but it should show that he had remorse, was trying to stop and recognised that he shouldn't have been doing it).
My partner has taken it pretty hard, I'm trying to be strong and support us both and I'm sure he'll start coming to terms with it soon, I'm just hoping it won't drag on as long as some cases seem to do.
Hi Sashadill...
My partner was dealt with in 2017. Yes he deleted all the files including legal porn.
The police forensics recovered 5 images.. 2A, 2B and 1C...They were also able to show that 3 of them had never been opened or viewed however the offence is complete as soon as they are knowingly on your computer.
He was berated by the judge for deleting the images who stated it was tantamount to concealing evidence...
The police were also able to retrieve his search history... sites visited... P2P file application used and keywords...
I have remained with him... As you have pointed out since the arrest, shock, humiliation and shame of conviction he had completely changed his behaviour towards the internet and the pit holes it stores...
Best wishes...
My partner was dealt with in 2017. Yes he deleted all the files including legal porn.
The police forensics recovered 5 images.. 2A, 2B and 1C...They were also able to show that 3 of them had never been opened or viewed however the offence is complete as soon as they are knowingly on your computer.
He was berated by the judge for deleting the images who stated it was tantamount to concealing evidence...
The police were also able to retrieve his search history... sites visited... P2P file application used and keywords...
I have remained with him... As you have pointed out since the arrest, shock, humiliation and shame of conviction he had completely changed his behaviour towards the internet and the pit holes it stores...
Best wishes...
My husband is IIOC and has now realised he has a very bad porn addiction. One thing I would say is is that I would advise to stay away from all porn. This will show the police he is low risk off re offending and show he is changing his attitude towards porn. HUGS