How long does this take?
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Hi everyone, I'm unfortunately new here but have spent some time over the last couple of days just reading through some posts and familiarising myself with the forum.
Wednesday morning we got the knock. 7am! It woke us up. Four police officers at the door asking to speak to my partner. I have to say they were very kind and kept reiterating that he's not being arrested they just need to ask him some questions. They didn't allow me to be in the same room but one of them came and sat with me in the bedroom to explain what was going on and showed me their warrant.
They seized his PC, phone, an external hard drive and a couple of other bits. None of my property was taken or even looked through. After they asked him the initial questions they invited me into the room to be with him to explain it all to both of us. They said he's low risk/low offence, and that he was making all the right emotional responses and they actually said they they respect him and his honesty/openness.
I am staying with him because I can see how remorseful he is and I know he needs my support. We've had long, long talks about what he did, why he did it. I honestly think he does have a porn addiction (we have spoken about this before but there has never been IIOC involved until now) and have told him that I'm going to be by his side to help him to help himself - but he knows that this is the condition and if he doesn't help himself I will have to leave.
I know this whole process can take such a long time and it varies by area/how busy the police are/what they find etc, but we've been left in the dark a bit here. Every time the door goes I panic that it's the police again. If what he's told me is true then I am hoping he will get away with just a caution and being put on the register for 2 years. But when will we find out? The uncertainty and not knowing is killing me. It's only been two days and I'm already spiralling. Are we looking at weeks or months from the initial knock? Will they show up unannounced and take him away in handcuffs, or will they just contact us to ask him to go for questioning?
Sorry if this is the wrong place to post this! I guess I'm just looking for real experiences to get an idea of what happens now.
Wednesday morning we got the knock. 7am! It woke us up. Four police officers at the door asking to speak to my partner. I have to say they were very kind and kept reiterating that he's not being arrested they just need to ask him some questions. They didn't allow me to be in the same room but one of them came and sat with me in the bedroom to explain what was going on and showed me their warrant.
They seized his PC, phone, an external hard drive and a couple of other bits. None of my property was taken or even looked through. After they asked him the initial questions they invited me into the room to be with him to explain it all to both of us. They said he's low risk/low offence, and that he was making all the right emotional responses and they actually said they they respect him and his honesty/openness.
I am staying with him because I can see how remorseful he is and I know he needs my support. We've had long, long talks about what he did, why he did it. I honestly think he does have a porn addiction (we have spoken about this before but there has never been IIOC involved until now) and have told him that I'm going to be by his side to help him to help himself - but he knows that this is the condition and if he doesn't help himself I will have to leave.
I know this whole process can take such a long time and it varies by area/how busy the police are/what they find etc, but we've been left in the dark a bit here. Every time the door goes I panic that it's the police again. If what he's told me is true then I am hoping he will get away with just a caution and being put on the register for 2 years. But when will we find out? The uncertainty and not knowing is killing me. It's only been two days and I'm already spiralling. Are we looking at weeks or months from the initial knock? Will they show up unannounced and take him away in handcuffs, or will they just contact us to ask him to go for questioning?
Sorry if this is the wrong place to post this! I guess I'm just looking for real experiences to get an idea of what happens now.
LC - We got the Knock 14th June. 6:50 AM. My husabnd was working away so they came back the next day.
Email from the Investigation officer today 22/07 to say it would be at least another 3/4 weeks until his mobile phone and laptop have been searched and a report produced.
This is apparently over one picture that he didn't even know about as he had downloaded a file to to his mobile thinking it containted adult porn. He's no interst in children, but I kknow he does watch a lot of porn.
I'm hoping this won't take too much longer as the strain is unreal, I too will be stood beside him all the way unless something else comes out in the wash!
Email from the Investigation officer today 22/07 to say it would be at least another 3/4 weeks until his mobile phone and laptop have been searched and a report produced.
This is apparently over one picture that he didn't even know about as he had downloaded a file to to his mobile thinking it containted adult porn. He's no interst in children, but I kknow he does watch a lot of porn.
I'm hoping this won't take too much longer as the strain is unreal, I too will be stood beside him all the way unless something else comes out in the wash!
My husband was arrested back in February, and we're still waiting. The investigating officer called me the other week trying to get hold of my husband for a welfare check and mentioned it wouldn't be much longer. At the time of his arrest they said it wouldn't take that long. Who knew almost 6 months is "that long" And apparently the whole Corona virus thing hasn't impacted the investigation time.
D3400,
Thank you for your reply. My partner got his PC, USB sticks etc back last week as they were clear of anything, but they're still looking at his phone - I guess as he admitted to using his phone for this and there's a lot more to go through on there.
We've been able to get on with life quite well since he got his PC back, it was a bit of a weight off his shoulders, but there's still that worry lingering over us regarding sentencing etc and the next steps - what they'll be and when they'll happen. He has been doing the stop it now modules which are really getting to him too and it's tough to see him get like this.
Fingers crossed we don't have too much longer to wait!
-
holly,
That does seem quite a while! Interesting to hear that the current circumstances aren't having an effect on your area, the police did tell us there may be delays in our area but hopefully it won't be too much longer.
Thank you for your reply. My partner got his PC, USB sticks etc back last week as they were clear of anything, but they're still looking at his phone - I guess as he admitted to using his phone for this and there's a lot more to go through on there.
We've been able to get on with life quite well since he got his PC back, it was a bit of a weight off his shoulders, but there's still that worry lingering over us regarding sentencing etc and the next steps - what they'll be and when they'll happen. He has been doing the stop it now modules which are really getting to him too and it's tough to see him get like this.
Fingers crossed we don't have too much longer to wait!
-
holly,
That does seem quite a while! Interesting to hear that the current circumstances aren't having an effect on your area, the police did tell us there may be delays in our area but hopefully it won't be too much longer.
Hi LC x
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I had the knock 13th of feb, magestrates the 31st of july and crown court the 28th of August, it really depends where you live in the country on how long it takes, it seems to be i'm really lucky living in the blackcountry
#
I had the knock 13th of feb, magestrates the 31st of july and crown court the 28th of August, it really depends where you live in the country on how long it takes, it seems to be i'm really lucky living in the blackcountry
Hi Hollybush
That is really good the police phoned your husband for a welfare check and told him it wouldn't be much longer. I didn't realise there was such a thing!
my partner has been Released under investigation for 2 years and 2 months, with not a single communication from the police!When the police came to collect our devices they were surly and abrupt and had no compassion for me.
I really hope you get an answer soon, it is nice to know there are some compassionate police officers out there!
all the best
Mabel x x x
That is really good the police phoned your husband for a welfare check and told him it wouldn't be much longer. I didn't realise there was such a thing!
my partner has been Released under investigation for 2 years and 2 months, with not a single communication from the police!When the police came to collect our devices they were surly and abrupt and had no compassion for me.
I really hope you get an answer soon, it is nice to know there are some compassionate police officers out there!
all the best
Mabel x x x
The knock on the door happened April 2019. The Magistrate Court hearing will take place in 2 weeks time. Then it will be more waiting for the Crown Court. So up to today my husband has waited 16 months. No one knows or will tell us any time scale.
Hi
i got the knock October 12th 2018, he was sentenced yesterday, sorry be prepared for the long haul
jb72
i got the knock October 12th 2018, he was sentenced yesterday, sorry be prepared for the long haul
jb72
We had the “knock” in May 2020 and my husband is bailed now until February 2021. It’s a slow process and there’s no guarantee that it will end there!!
It has all happened pretty quickly for us. Arrested in April and will be sentenced in early September so just under 5 months in total.
Almost 3 years for us.....still waiting.....
Hi Mum in distress
I can't believe it almost 3 years for you! We are 2 years and almost 3 months with nothing.
wishing you all the best
Mabel xx
I can't believe it almost 3 years for you! We are 2 years and almost 3 months with nothing.
wishing you all the best
Mabel xx
For the new members of our gang, my heart breaks for you. It's nearly a year since our vigilante "expose". If the police knocked then hopefully you have been spared that humiliation.
His data was processed and back around May, but it hasn't gone any further.
With hindsight I'd like to tell you to look after and be kind to yourselves I struggled to function for several weeks, couldn't work, slept and cried non-stop .... and then the joy of working with children's services started.
Be patient and hopefully it won't be long and drawn out for you, but we're at a year.
Hugs to you all xxx
His data was processed and back around May, but it hasn't gone any further.
With hindsight I'd like to tell you to look after and be kind to yourselves I struggled to function for several weeks, couldn't work, slept and cried non-stop .... and then the joy of working with children's services started.
Be patient and hopefully it won't be long and drawn out for you, but we're at a year.
Hugs to you all xxx
JB72 - What was his sentence in the end? Hope things are looking brighter for you all
Hi all, it's been a while since I last posted on here. Thank you all for sharing your replies.
A little update - my partner got his computer back in late August/early Sept with nothing to be found on it. They still have his phone to search, last we heard was around two weeks after getting the computer back when he wanted to check what would happen if he were to get a new phone with the same number/iCloud backup. The PO told him this was fine and he could go ahead and sort this out, and when asked for an update was told the phone was still sealed in an evidence locker.
My partner is doing the Inform course which has been hard but a good help for him to speak to others in the same situation. We're mostly getting by quite well - we're managing to get on with life day to day. He hasn't told anyone, I've only told my best friend and my boss (mainly as I had to explain why I was off work the day we got the knock!), so it's easy for us to put it to the back of our minds for the most part. The hardest part is the day he does his Inform call - it's like it brings him back down to reality with a crash.
I'm just hoping that it won't be much longer until we next hear something. The not knowing what's happening next or when it'll happen is absolute torture sometimes.
If they find anything on his phone, what would the next action be? Will they ask him to come in for an interview to discuss what they found?
A little update - my partner got his computer back in late August/early Sept with nothing to be found on it. They still have his phone to search, last we heard was around two weeks after getting the computer back when he wanted to check what would happen if he were to get a new phone with the same number/iCloud backup. The PO told him this was fine and he could go ahead and sort this out, and when asked for an update was told the phone was still sealed in an evidence locker.
My partner is doing the Inform course which has been hard but a good help for him to speak to others in the same situation. We're mostly getting by quite well - we're managing to get on with life day to day. He hasn't told anyone, I've only told my best friend and my boss (mainly as I had to explain why I was off work the day we got the knock!), so it's easy for us to put it to the back of our minds for the most part. The hardest part is the day he does his Inform call - it's like it brings him back down to reality with a crash.
I'm just hoping that it won't be much longer until we next hear something. The not knowing what's happening next or when it'll happen is absolute torture sometimes.
If they find anything on his phone, what would the next action be? Will they ask him to come in for an interview to discuss what they found?
We got the knock in November last year..6 c.I.d officers stood there..search warrant the lot..
husband had downloaded kik messenger and someone had sent him a puesdo image and because he'd downloaded kik from our IP address that's how it was traced back here..
he deleted said image as soon as it came, but left the application open which led to thousands of iioc being sent to his phone..this was found in September this year after almost 12 months of the police trying to download the content.
now it looks as though husband had downloaded them and no amount of him telling police that he hasn't seems to be doing anything ..all they see is what's on the phone..he's been consistent in his story to police and SS but it's driven him to the edge of despair..
He wanted to end his life last year because of it all and is now on anti depressants.
so we're back at square one..been re-arrested, been out on cps bail til March ( which anyone I've mentioned this to has said they don't understand why he's been out on cps bail if he's not been charged yet and the investigation isn't over)..it's been going on nearly 2yrs for us and it's a living nightmare..
the strain on us and our family is massive
x
husband had downloaded kik messenger and someone had sent him a puesdo image and because he'd downloaded kik from our IP address that's how it was traced back here..
he deleted said image as soon as it came, but left the application open which led to thousands of iioc being sent to his phone..this was found in September this year after almost 12 months of the police trying to download the content.
now it looks as though husband had downloaded them and no amount of him telling police that he hasn't seems to be doing anything ..all they see is what's on the phone..he's been consistent in his story to police and SS but it's driven him to the edge of despair..
He wanted to end his life last year because of it all and is now on anti depressants.
so we're back at square one..been re-arrested, been out on cps bail til March ( which anyone I've mentioned this to has said they don't understand why he's been out on cps bail if he's not been charged yet and the investigation isn't over)..it's been going on nearly 2yrs for us and it's a living nightmare..
the strain on us and our family is massive
x
The waiting and not knowing is horrendous..your whole life ripped apart..SS aren't helping..the lack of communication is ridiculous..
I hope you don't have to deal with them..I hope your spared that part of it all.
before my husband can have contact at home or even be allowed to return home, I have to prove that I can effectively protect my daughter from her own dad..
so contact is only allowed in the community in the freezing cold for now until SW gets moving with doing what she refers to as, outstanding work with me..
at this rate my daughter and I will be on our own on Xmas day
xx
I hope you don't have to deal with them..I hope your spared that part of it all.
before my husband can have contact at home or even be allowed to return home, I have to prove that I can effectively protect my daughter from her own dad..
so contact is only allowed in the community in the freezing cold for now until SW gets moving with doing what she refers to as, outstanding work with me..
at this rate my daughter and I will be on our own on Xmas day
xx
Hi Annie,
Oh bless you - that sounds like such a pain. No SS involved here as no kids thankfully. I hope things get easier for you soon.
When the officers were here to start with they were saying he's considered very low risk and my partner has also been honest and consistent with his story/answers.
I am hoping for the best but prepared for the worst. Just want it to be over with, I can't believe how long they let this go on considering how serious it is!
Oh bless you - that sounds like such a pain. No SS involved here as no kids thankfully. I hope things get easier for you soon.
When the officers were here to start with they were saying he's considered very low risk and my partner has also been honest and consistent with his story/answers.
I am hoping for the best but prepared for the worst. Just want it to be over with, I can't believe how long they let this go on considering how serious it is!
They have all the power and control.we feel they want my husband to admit to the offence , to change his story so that it makes it easier for them..why would he or anyone else admit to something they haven't done just to make life easier ?
if he'd actually done it, he'd have admitted it a long time ago, he'd not still be sticking to the same story and being consistent as he is 12 months on from the first Knock.
they should see what this has done to my husband and others in the same situation, he was going to take his own life last year when it all started because he thought that thst was what he deserved and it'd be his punishment for making a stupid mistake and putting myself and our daughter in the position we're in now.
now he's on anti depressants and in contact with IAPTS.
if he'd actually done it, he'd have admitted it a long time ago, he'd not still be sticking to the same story and being consistent as he is 12 months on from the first Knock.
they should see what this has done to my husband and others in the same situation, he was going to take his own life last year when it all started because he thought that thst was what he deserved and it'd be his punishment for making a stupid mistake and putting myself and our daughter in the position we're in now.
now he's on anti depressants and in contact with IAPTS.
Annie, I'm sorry you're in this situation. My partner has admitted what he did but it's a very low level offence, but the entire process is awful.
He is now constantly on edge. He has done the inform course and is now about to start therapy. It has helped him, but it breaks my heart to see how it has affected him. If it had been over and done with in a couple of months I guarantee it wouldn't be this hard and he wouldn't be as torn up as he is right now.
Hope things get easier for you soon x
He is now constantly on edge. He has done the inform course and is now about to start therapy. It has helped him, but it breaks my heart to see how it has affected him. If it had been over and done with in a couple of months I guarantee it wouldn't be this hard and he wouldn't be as torn up as he is right now.
Hope things get easier for you soon x
Hi all, sorry to revive an old thread but I just wanted to give an update, and possibly some hope for those in the same awful situation.
Its been over two years since the knock (July 2020) and we finally, today, got closure.
No further action is to be taken. They searched his phone and found one image that they said was barely just Cat C, and have closed the case. For obvious reasons they couldn't return the phone to him as it did have that one image on it, but let's be honest - it's been over 2 years, why would he have needed that back!
We are both so relieved. He had been attending therapy every other week for over a year and only recently stopped. We bought our first home together in July and part of me was wondering whether it was a good idea or not, but now we can focus on making it our forever home and put all this behind us.
I am annoyed that the police just went quiet and left it so, so long without any updates for us - not even just a "we're still waiting to get the phone searched" so we knew they'd not just forgotten about it or been missed in the system - but so glad it's now over and we no longer have this unknown lingering over us.
Thank you to everyone who has shared their stories and experience, it's not a nice situation for anyone to be in but it's comforting to know we're not alone in it all. I hope my update brings some hope to those in the same situation, and I'll be thinking of you all x
Its been over two years since the knock (July 2020) and we finally, today, got closure.
No further action is to be taken. They searched his phone and found one image that they said was barely just Cat C, and have closed the case. For obvious reasons they couldn't return the phone to him as it did have that one image on it, but let's be honest - it's been over 2 years, why would he have needed that back!
We are both so relieved. He had been attending therapy every other week for over a year and only recently stopped. We bought our first home together in July and part of me was wondering whether it was a good idea or not, but now we can focus on making it our forever home and put all this behind us.
I am annoyed that the police just went quiet and left it so, so long without any updates for us - not even just a "we're still waiting to get the phone searched" so we knew they'd not just forgotten about it or been missed in the system - but so glad it's now over and we no longer have this unknown lingering over us.
Thank you to everyone who has shared their stories and experience, it's not a nice situation for anyone to be in but it's comforting to know we're not alone in it all. I hope my update brings some hope to those in the same situation, and I'll be thinking of you all x
LC that's really good news for you, although it's so annoying that the police make people sweat for months/years when it must be apparent quite early on in the investigation that there is only a very small number ofthe least serious of images.
I often wonder whether it's done not out of meanness but out af a desire to cover for and justify the amount of time spent searching the property and seizing devices, and then the long wiat for forensic examination, as it must take up a considerable amount of police time and resources. I guess that's why they're not spending much time investigating burglaries, rural crimes and other offences as I've seen reported in the media recently.
I often wonder whether it's done not out of meanness but out af a desire to cover for and justify the amount of time spent searching the property and seizing devices, and then the long wiat for forensic examination, as it must take up a considerable amount of police time and resources. I guess that's why they're not spending much time investigating burglaries, rural crimes and other offences as I've seen reported in the media recently.
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Hi Bitterbean,
It does feel cruel doesn't it? A cursory call to check in now and again with an update would've been much appreciated. That awful feeling of being in limbo not knowing what is round the corner really can eat away at you.
It wouldn't surprise me if that is the reason they do it!
EA,
AFAIK it was just the one Cat C IIOC they found, among some other legal/adult images. It sounds like my partner was just talking to some of the wrong people online which is how he was in receipt of that one IIOC image, but he never engaged in talk about anything inappropriate (beyond legal fantasies and typical "blokes" chat). He probably would've done himself a favour if he'd reported it instead of ignored it.
They didn't really give much more info as they've closed the case and nothing will be on his record. We heard nothing at all for over 2 years, not even a thing to say they'd started searching through his phone. Sorry not much more help than that but hope it answers your question. Sending strength and hoping you'll hear more soon x
It does feel cruel doesn't it? A cursory call to check in now and again with an update would've been much appreciated. That awful feeling of being in limbo not knowing what is round the corner really can eat away at you.
It wouldn't surprise me if that is the reason they do it!
EA,
AFAIK it was just the one Cat C IIOC they found, among some other legal/adult images. It sounds like my partner was just talking to some of the wrong people online which is how he was in receipt of that one IIOC image, but he never engaged in talk about anything inappropriate (beyond legal fantasies and typical "blokes" chat). He probably would've done himself a favour if he'd reported it instead of ignored it.
They didn't really give much more info as they've closed the case and nothing will be on his record. We heard nothing at all for over 2 years, not even a thing to say they'd started searching through his phone. Sorry not much more help than that but hope it answers your question. Sending strength and hoping you'll hear more soon x
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Hi Bluebell,
Yes it's a real weight off our shoulders now! And as awful as it has been it has strengthened our relationship and made our communication so much better, so looking at the silver linings of what is otherwise a horrible time in both our lives.
No there were no apps involved as far as I'm aware, it was all via an email account. I'm not sure if it was on an adult forum that uses an email address when you register or something, but no kik. They did say it wasn't even saved down on his device but as it had been "downloaded" and cached to his device in order to show the thumbnail that's what got him caught. I think kik is similar in that sense though in that you don't need to actually "save" the images for them to technically be on your device.
Fingers crossed you get some good news soon x
Yes it's a real weight off our shoulders now! And as awful as it has been it has strengthened our relationship and made our communication so much better, so looking at the silver linings of what is otherwise a horrible time in both our lives.
No there were no apps involved as far as I'm aware, it was all via an email account. I'm not sure if it was on an adult forum that uses an email address when you register or something, but no kik. They did say it wasn't even saved down on his device but as it had been "downloaded" and cached to his device in order to show the thumbnail that's what got him caught. I think kik is similar in that sense though in that you don't need to actually "save" the images for them to technically be on your device.
Fingers crossed you get some good news soon x