Stood by them
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Hi All. The knock was over 3 years ago. I made the decision after learning everything about my husbands case and I know with every one not everything is black and white, to stay with him. He is a good man and yes I do feel guilty saying that. But i would like to ask if anyone is further down the line than me. And does there ever come a time when I am not looking at people wondering do they know my secret.. will that ever go away .? And am I in a minority staying and forgiving xx Lilly xx
Hi I can't really answer your question as it's only been a few weeks since the knock for me. At the minute I'm still trying to decide what to do with regards to the relationship between me and my husband. The thing that keeps bothering me is whether there will ever be any trust there again. I don't want us to split up but I don't want to live without trust either. I wondered does that come back or is there always that niggle there?
Hi Lillly
How long did your whole process take from the knock to conclusion. Sorry to pry just really trying to understand things.
How long did your whole process take from the knock to conclusion. Sorry to pry just really trying to understand things.
Hi Lily,
We're 12 months post nock. I have also stood by my husband.
He shown remorse from the second he got the nock. There was a little bit of dishonesty at the time (he insists it was to protect me) but once we over came that hurdle he has been very open and honest about things.
He sort help as soon as could and has since been signed off by his therapist.
My husband is a good man, does everything for his children and works hard etc. Unfortunately addiction sent him down a rabbit hole but after crawling back up I can't see him ever falling down it again. Unfortunately, he's learnt the hard way.
A few very select people know about what we've been through over the past year but due to confidentiality etc I'm as sure as I can be that no one else knows.
The trust is something we have to keep building on.
We're 12 months post nock. I have also stood by my husband.
He shown remorse from the second he got the nock. There was a little bit of dishonesty at the time (he insists it was to protect me) but once we over came that hurdle he has been very open and honest about things.
He sort help as soon as could and has since been signed off by his therapist.
My husband is a good man, does everything for his children and works hard etc. Unfortunately addiction sent him down a rabbit hole but after crawling back up I can't see him ever falling down it again. Unfortunately, he's learnt the hard way.
A few very select people know about what we've been through over the past year but due to confidentiality etc I'm as sure as I can be that no one else knows.
The trust is something we have to keep building on.
Thank you all.. it means so much to be able to be open.. i love the saying the people that mind don't matter and the people who matter don't mind.. from the knock it took just over 2 years to go to court and it has been extremely hard but I can see it making us so much stronger .. i send everyone hugs as this is what we all need xx
Well what a day.. my family have been round telling me I must chose them or him... how can I sit at home with a paedophile.. how can I look at him not knowing what he is thinking. I must be a bad person to allow this... i told them I was standing by him. They got a bit nasty then trying to make me feel bad and turn against him.. its all come back again its just like when it first happened.. i don't think I can do this again x
I have backed away from my siblings very very sad but need to look after myself xx
Hi Lilly
like you I've stood by my husband he is also a good man and a good Dad who messed up badly! We are in early days still and always looking over my shoulder wondering who knows family are still deciding what side their on it hits hard on us who haven't done anything wrong it's car crashed my life I hope all goes well for you and you can relax and settle as time goes on remember you have been so strong this far I really wish you all the best
like you I've stood by my husband he is also a good man and a good Dad who messed up badly! We are in early days still and always looking over my shoulder wondering who knows family are still deciding what side their on it hits hard on us who haven't done anything wrong it's car crashed my life I hope all goes well for you and you can relax and settle as time goes on remember you have been so strong this far I really wish you all the best
hi lily
I have chosen to stay with my husband too. We are just over 2 years post knock and 5 months since sentencing.
Its been a hard road the only family that has stood by us is my mum and my husbands family. All my siblings and their children have turned their back on me. Which I feel is sad as they haven't directly spoken to me.
We have a few incidents with neighbours resulting one going to jail for an arson attack on our car.
The hubby is finding it hard getting a job now and work was horrendous for me when I returned but I really couldn't careless now that I am back. If people know they know nothing I can do to change that. Most of my colleagues just ignore me but there are a few that talk to me.
"Trust those who seek the truth and not those who think they know they truth". This is my new moto now.hope this doesn't scare you or up set you.
Stay strong xxx
I have chosen to stay with my husband too. We are just over 2 years post knock and 5 months since sentencing.
Its been a hard road the only family that has stood by us is my mum and my husbands family. All my siblings and their children have turned their back on me. Which I feel is sad as they haven't directly spoken to me.
We have a few incidents with neighbours resulting one going to jail for an arson attack on our car.
The hubby is finding it hard getting a job now and work was horrendous for me when I returned but I really couldn't careless now that I am back. If people know they know nothing I can do to change that. Most of my colleagues just ignore me but there are a few that talk to me.
"Trust those who seek the truth and not those who think they know they truth". This is my new moto now.hope this doesn't scare you or up set you.
Stay strong xxx
Oh Lee , how did it come to this and Ren.
Thank you for the meaningful words. I wish we could all get together and support each other.. it is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. But I do feel more positive today.. i want to send a massive hug to all of you. It means so much being able to talk.. good luck with your fights too.. xx hug xx
Thank you for the meaningful words. I wish we could all get together and support each other.. it is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. But I do feel more positive today.. i want to send a massive hug to all of you. It means so much being able to talk.. good luck with your fights too.. xx hug xx