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Social Services

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ConfusedAdult Child

Member since
June 2020

22 posts

Posted Thu July 23, 2020 4:27pmReport post

Hi bit of background, my Dad is the offender, convicted for cats A, B and C IIOC. Just had call from PO saying that she will need to refer to SS as I have 3 under 18s and I still want them to have contact with him. Does anyone know what contact with SS is likely to involve? I fully understand the seriousness of what my dad has done and they will not be left alone with him (not that they ever have as he's not the babysitting type of grandad and never has been). I really do not want them telling my children about it's they don't need to know about it, will SS want to talk to them etc?

Edited Thu July 23, 2020 4:27pm

Mum of 3

Member since
December 2019

68 posts

Posted Fri July 24, 2020 11:14amReport post

Hello, it was my husband who was found to have IIOC hence our refferal to SS.

We were visited twice by a SW (1 after the nock and 1 after the second interview.) Both times they spoke to my children however they didn't once mention why they were there. They simply told my children that they check in with all children from time to time and asked if they had any worries etc and then asked a few questions about us both.

Our case was closed and that was the end of it. My children (13,10&8) have never mentioned their visit since. It was all very low key and informal.

The SW will just want to be reassured that you're protective and look out for your children.

ConfusedAdult Child

Member since
June 2020

22 posts

Posted Fri July 24, 2020 2:26pmReport post

Mum of 3

Thank you, like many of us on here I have never had any dealings with MASH/Social services so it's new territory for me and it makes me a little anxious.

AnthonyConstantinou

Member since
June 2020

3 posts

Posted Tue July 28, 2020 1:40pmReport post

This is quite good and inspiring for many of us. Social service works are essential today.

Rainbow

Member since
January 2019

282 posts

Posted Wed July 29, 2020 2:29pmReport post

Hi mum of 3 can I ask if your husband ever received a conviction and if you are together still. Are SS still involved?

Thanks.

ConfusedAdult Child

Member since
June 2020

22 posts

Posted Fri July 31, 2020 7:47pmReport post

First phone call with SW today, to assess me, they are speaking with husband another day. Arranged to do What's app call with kids next week. Wasn't overly happy that we don't want to disclose to our elder kids but me and hubby both think it is best thing for our family unit but they said these things can get out and cause more problems in long run. Any advice?

ConfusedAdult Child

Member since
June 2020

22 posts

Posted Sat August 1, 2020 8:30pmReport post

I think we are reluctant because it's their Grandad who they only see him a handful of times a year. They are never left with him anyway and we are always there to protect them. All I can see is heartache for my children which I feel is unnecessary. I have to live with the knowledge of what has happened and want to protect my kids from the stigma that goes with his crime.

Sammy Marie

Member since
August 2020

1 post

Posted Tue August 11, 2020 10:34amReport post

Hello

when social services visit our children can they tell my children what my partner has done. The children are 5 and 7.
thank you

Sam

Lou

Member since
August 2019

10 posts

Posted Wed August 19, 2020 10:38amReport post

Hi Sammie Marie,

I knew what my husband had been arrested for from the police and then after SS made their report some of what he had done was described there, which was a shock as it was more detailed than what the police had told me. The police could only say what he was arrested on suspicion of due to the bail terms at the time which meant he would not be left alone with our children.

I don't think SS will be able to tell you the full details due to data protection and due to the fact you are presumed innocent until proven guilty so from the legal side, it's not fair on the person accused if people know the details of the crime before they have had a fair trial. Infuriating if you know they are guilty (my ex-husband had written a confession after the arrest) but essential if there's a chance of innocence and for the justice system to mean anything.

I hope I've helped, I know it is frustrating and bewildering.

Lou xx

Kwh

Member since
October 2020

1 post

Posted Wed October 7, 2020 5:38pmReport post

Hi,

Father inlaw arrested for iioc, ss dont want my kids to have contact i agreed, they said they would leave us alone aslong as we stick to what we said, but have a meeting tommorow with safeguarding officer, does anyone know why this is? Were not to sure yet what cat the images are but we do know its not c! Hes not been charged yet, but ss said they are tryimg to get full disclosure so family can realise seriousness? Any help or advice please

Mum in distress

Member since
August 2020

20 posts

Posted Sat October 10, 2020 1:03amReport post

Social services will not leave you alone until they are in possession of all the facts and they believe beyond reasonable doubt that he is innocent and/or not a risk to children. The outcomes of police investigations do not correlate to what SS will do. SS have a higher authority than the police when it comes to child safety.

Hopefully your session with the safeguarding worker went well. They are basically family support workers that work for SS they are not social workers....like a step down from a social worker x

ConfusedAdult Child

Member since
June 2020

22 posts

Posted Wed October 14, 2020 7:33pmReport post

KWH



hope everything went ok for you with the Safeguarding team. We have been told (after 9 weeks of waiting) and my husband ringing them, that they have closed the case. Fingers crossed they see you as protective and let you deal with it. Obviously everyone's case is different as depends on many variants x

Edited Fri October 16, 2020 10:44am

nicenana

Member since
March 2019

243 posts

Posted Wed October 14, 2020 11:12pmReport post

Hi confusedadultchild

can I ask if your dad is allowed to see your children now that the case has been closed? I ask because we are in similar situation. Our son was convicted of communication offence. Our daughter has a little boy.we were led to believe that social services will need to do an assessment before our son can see the little one. Can I ask if your dad had to be assessed and if so what that entailed. Our daughter is worried about social services being all over her and it would be good to pass on other people's experiences. X

ConfusedAdult Child

Member since
June 2020

22 posts

Posted Fri October 16, 2020 10:44amReport post

Hi
My dad lives away from where we live. Social services haven't given us any restrictions but when my husband spoke to them and found out they had closed the case, we said that he will never stay overnight at our house and will book into a hotel when visiting, we also said he would not be left unsupervised with kids (not that he has ever been). The manager he spoke to said this was wise as it protects both my children and my dad from any possible dangers/accusations.

They never spoke with my dad but may have been in contact with his PO. They came to my house and chatted individually with my children but never said why they was here (at our request). They also did all there checks on us which I found the most intrusive, they contacted schools, doctors etc to ask if any issues with my kids. They only see him 3/4 times a year anyway so it's easier to monitor the time. I know each LA deal with things differently. I hope the case stays closed as it is a very stressful time, we only found out they had closed it when my husband rang them after 9 weeks of waiting and the Manager rang back. They said we should have had a letter to say the case was closed.
hope this helps and that your daughters liaison with them goes well x

nicenana

Member since
March 2019

243 posts

Posted Fri October 16, 2020 7:53pmReport post

Hi confusedadultchild

Thank you very much for the reply.
can I ask if the checks they done on you was just at the doctors and school etc or did the have to do assessments on you and your husband? Our son will be living in the next village to our daughter and grandson. The worst part of all this is the waiting and then not really knowing what to expect from social services. X

ConfusedAdult Child

Member since
June 2020

22 posts

Posted Sun October 18, 2020 4:17pmReport post

Nicenana

There was no formal assessment done to my knowledge, the social worker spoke to both my husband and I by phone and then when she came to our home to speak to the children we chatted briefly in the garden. I know that they obviously did checks on us with the doctors as when I went recently I could see her name on my notes! (Which did send me into a bit of a melt down when I got home). Having never had dealing with SS this has been a very alien experience for us. Finally we got the letter yesterday saying case is closed x