hi all , I need some support. How long does the fog take to lift. Such as I feel like I am not emotionally dealing with anything and just in a daze. Will the anger hit soon.
Its a very strange place to be. I still don’t hate my ex just so confused.
does it take years to process the betrayal.
i thought we had a good honest relationship, seems to be one sided. I feel like a mug.
Its a very strange place to be. I still don’t hate my ex just so confused.
does it take years to process the betrayal.
i thought we had a good honest relationship, seems to be one sided. I feel like a mug.
Hi
You are not a mug. The nature of this is by necessity secretive, and you could not possibly have known. Neither is this your fault. It's not necessary to commit to, or even name your emotions just yet, and let no-one tell you that you have to hate. Think of yourself and be gentle with yourself as you allow time to process this devastating shock. I strongly suggest phoning the helpline when you get the chance
Sandy
You are not a mug. The nature of this is by necessity secretive, and you could not possibly have known. Neither is this your fault. It's not necessary to commit to, or even name your emotions just yet, and let no-one tell you that you have to hate. Think of yourself and be gentle with yourself as you allow time to process this devastating shock. I strongly suggest phoning the helpline when you get the chance
Sandy
Oh hun we are all here for you. There is no book to tell you what to do or a right or wrong way to deal with it all. Everyone is different and we all have different ways if coping. Do what is right for you not what say you shud be doing it feeling xx
Oh hun we are all here for you. There is no book to tell you what to do or a right or wrong way to deal with it all. Everyone is different and we all have different ways if coping. Do what is right for you not what say you shud be doing it feeling xx
It's so hard when you're feeling like that and it is very individual, somedays I manage really well then a little something will set me back, I think that's normal.
Try the helpline or your GP, they will be able to help.
I found counselling really good for me.
You are stronger than you think and doing so well
Xx
Try the helpline or your GP, they will be able to help.
I found counselling really good for me.
You are stronger than you think and doing so well
Xx
Getting through this is a day by day process. I still don’t hate my ex even though we were due to be married a few weeks after the Knock. But i hate what he did. And how it’s ruptured my life and the lives of our families . This is not a black and white emotional situation. It is multi-layered and complex. One of the things that has helped me most is talking to close friends about my feelings which seem to change from day to day. And making myself afford a therapist whose support has been amazing. The helpline is brilliant too.
This is big stuff. Huge. But somehow I will deal with this. . I figure I have a choice. Either I can role over and play victim and let what has happened define the rest of my life wallowing in a sea of misery, grief and pain, Or I can fight my way through this minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day....and like some of the amazing women in this club of ours that no one wants to belong to, come out the other side feeling pretty damn happy and positive. There won’t be a day when the fog suddenly lifts. But there will be glimmers of sunshine. I’m not expecting to ‘get over this’ and ‘move on’ or all the glib cliches, but I will learn to live with it. And to somehow rediscover joy in my life. Thinking of you xx
This is big stuff. Huge. But somehow I will deal with this. . I figure I have a choice. Either I can role over and play victim and let what has happened define the rest of my life wallowing in a sea of misery, grief and pain, Or I can fight my way through this minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day....and like some of the amazing women in this club of ours that no one wants to belong to, come out the other side feeling pretty damn happy and positive. There won’t be a day when the fog suddenly lifts. But there will be glimmers of sunshine. I’m not expecting to ‘get over this’ and ‘move on’ or all the glib cliches, but I will learn to live with it. And to somehow rediscover joy in my life. Thinking of you xx
Thanks everyone,
its so so nice not to feel alone. I also don’t want to feel a victim in this but guess it’s early days and I need to take the good days with the bad. I still need to discover who to open up too, to get support I know I can’t do it all by myself. I am going to the gp and going to get some time off work to get my head together.
your right there is no way anyone could know, the whole nature of the offence must be secretive. I just can’t get how he could have justified it to himself, they were inocent children and it’s a cruel industry. My ex is still minamising. I may never get the answers I need to why. But want to know what he has looked at so I don’t hear from the police or social worker. It’s the ultimate betrayal and he has lost more than me.
Love to all of you.
its such a hectic time of year I still have family around and so had no headspace to myself. Though in a sense I am also dreading the 2nd January when I know the loneliness will hit.
You all are very strong women.
its so so nice not to feel alone. I also don’t want to feel a victim in this but guess it’s early days and I need to take the good days with the bad. I still need to discover who to open up too, to get support I know I can’t do it all by myself. I am going to the gp and going to get some time off work to get my head together.
your right there is no way anyone could know, the whole nature of the offence must be secretive. I just can’t get how he could have justified it to himself, they were inocent children and it’s a cruel industry. My ex is still minamising. I may never get the answers I need to why. But want to know what he has looked at so I don’t hear from the police or social worker. It’s the ultimate betrayal and he has lost more than me.
Love to all of you.
its such a hectic time of year I still have family around and so had no headspace to myself. Though in a sense I am also dreading the 2nd January when I know the loneliness will hit.
You all are very strong women.