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How do you prepare for media/social media

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Maria

Member since
September 2018

286 posts

Posted Sun December 30, 2018 1:12pmReport post

Having read some other posts, my heart breaks for us all in this awful situation. Does anyone have good advice on how to prepare for negative press. I think the actual press isnt so bad, its social media thats the problem. How do you prepare for worst case? What plans should i think about putting in place to protect myself and the kids? I know after a few weeks/months people move onto a new story but how do you get through the tough but when you have kids and need to stand in the school playground each morning. Im going to ask school and social services to help with a plan of action if it hits social media also. My partners not been charged yet but it would be nice to know what others who have been through it did or wish they had done to protect themselves and their families.

Edited by moderator Fri January 25, 2019 10:26pm

Jono1

Member since
December 2018

46 posts

Posted Sun December 30, 2018 1:25pmReport post

Hi Maria.. id too like help on this.. my son is the offender.. im dreading and scared out of my wits with all of this.. ...sorry i cant be of more help hunny.. i only wish i could..

Jaded

Member since
December 2018

202 posts

Posted Sun December 30, 2018 3:24pmReport post

Any media attention be it social media or the press needs nerves of steel to get through. I’ve been through both. The simplest advice I can give is to brace yourself for the worst and hold your head and nerves. Do not respond to any social media, do not respond to any of it. Screenshot any threats and send to the police, they may not be interested but the have a duty of care to you in law, keep on at them, they cannot shirk this duty. They can’t respond to people’s opinions of you or their beliefs but threats of violence or threats of damage to you, your family or your property are criminal, don’t let the police convince you otherwise. Remain dignified and keep breathing!

The press is slightly different but only marginally so. Don’t expect them to report anything accurately. It’s not their job to tell the news accurately, it’s to sell newspapers and create revenue via advertising, therefore they need ‘clicks’ to do that. Trying to Sue is expensive and nigh on impossible. They know this.

in my husbands case there was a reporter who sat through the court case, did he report the collapse of the case and the shoddy behaviour of the police? No.

The same reporter sat through the professional hearing which unlike the court case only publicly geared evidence for the ‘prosecution’ Did he report that? Of course he did. Horrendous, impartial, biased ‘evidence’ (the Police are not independent, before this I thought they were, they are not) The subsequent press reports have led to horrendous implications for all of us. Nothing we can do about it. It’s time the authorities stepped up to protect us, we as secondary victims can’t do it on our own.



But my overiding message is we all got through it, we bear the scars of it but we survived! You all will to. Fight the fear, hold your heads up high. You are innocent people in all this, never forget that.

Jaded

Member since
December 2018

202 posts

Posted Sun December 30, 2018 3:30pmReport post

And before people think I’m anti police I’m not. Where we live is in a different force area from where my business and all the social media harassment has been happening. I reported it to the police (a different force) and the officer responded immediately. The officer is the most caring, sweetest person I’ve come across, I can’t speak highly enough of them. Their hands have been tied by the dark forces of Facebook but they’ve done what they can which has included actually visiting some of the Facebook lemmings and thugs. I’ve been treated as an actual human being by this officer which is as it should be.

Sad sad

Member since
December 2018

25 posts

Posted Sun December 30, 2018 7:50pmReport post

I think my experience with the media has been horrendous.

It was reported in 2 local newspapers n Facebook went mad. Within hours we had death threats,both my husband and myself. And my kids!!

Then a threatening Christmas card was put through my door

I've been told if I stay/support him they will turn on me. But I cannot imagine my life living here anymore. How can I stand in the play ground ? How can I protect us all? And I can't live with this stress day in, day out.

I'm now (desperately) looking for temporary accommodation until my house hopefully sells. Move away and attempt to start again.

I wasn't prepared for this. I wish I had thought the worst and was prepared. I wasnt! I understand it is not like this for everyone and for that I'm glad !

Jaded

Member since
December 2018

202 posts

Posted Sun December 30, 2018 8:34pmReport post

Sad Sad, Facebook is the scourge of modern society. I had all that too. I haven’t got young children but their reputations were still completely trashed on social media. We were all called paedos and paedo lovers and that is the ‘sanitised’ version of the name calling. We had to have the fire brigade attend our house and risk assess for arson, fitting smoke alarms and marking our home as high risk of potential violence. But I completely understand your fear, especially with young children. You have to do what is right for you and safe for your children.

It’s terrible that this is happening to you, it’s so wrong that the general public are not better educated and that punishment for this type of harassment is seen as ok by the authorities. Organisations such as Lucy Faithful and a very few others are trying to get some balance and inform without inflaming unlike some others but it takes government to change societies attitudes and they’ve got no appetite to do that, it doesn’t get them votes.

I understand, I’ve been there.

Maria

Member since
September 2018

286 posts

Posted Sun December 30, 2018 8:52pmReport post

Sad sad and jaded thats so awful. I really hope you can both find some peace. Why are people so cruel, especially to children. I guess to best thing is full house security and an escape plan just incase. How horrendous for us as partners and our small children. I do have some media experience and wonder if confronting it head on would be a goid idea if it happens. As if this siruatuon isnt awful enough you have to think about these crazy people threatening innoecent chikdren. Good luck to us all.

Maria

Member since
September 2018

286 posts

Posted Sun December 30, 2018 8:53pmReport post

Sorry for my terrible typing, its difficult on a small phone screen.

Jaded

Member since
December 2018

202 posts

Posted Sun December 30, 2018 11:03pmReport post

In case you all hadn’t guessed I think it’s scandalous that the authorities don’t step in and do more to actually provide the facts around this type of offence. I really think it suits the authorities for us to be abused in this way, possibly to act as a deterrent to others if they think their families may be abused, well clearly it doesn’t. With an increase in reported offences it’s clearly not working! They need to protect us, innocent people. I don’t want to be thought of as a ‘victim’, just as the innocent person as I am.

look at these idiots and think you really have no clue. As Cressida Dick recently said everybody now knows someone involved in this behaviour. The majority go around having no clue their boyfriends, colleagues, the shop keeper, the nice guy at the post office, their neighbour has been involved, neither will the purpetrators, they won’t necessarily get the ‘knock’ unless they have contact with children. The CPS told my husbands Barrister they wouldn’t even have bothered coming for my husband if it wasn’t for his job. All the Facebook vigilantes don’t get this, too stupid to read between the lines.

This is the injustice that really gets me raging. That there are people and more to the point, Children, suffering because of their political grandstanding. Stick up for the children, all of them! Children of offenders deserve not only safeguarding from the alleged offender but from society too.

Jess

Member since
September 2018

24 posts

Posted Fri February 22, 2019 4:30pmReport post

We had a dreadful time with the Press, it was in all the broadsheets and the Mail. They published a photo of my husband and our home address. Yuk.

But in a weird way, it wasn't all terrible... we had to tell all our friends before they read it in the papers and the support was amazing. Through that we felt we could ask for more letters of reference which were very important keeping him out of prison.

But it's still the first thing that comes up on google if you type his name. That's not easy to deal with.

Jaded

Member since
December 2018

202 posts

Posted Sat February 23, 2019 9:55amReport post

You can’t really prepare for it. It’s like surfing the biggest waves in Hawaii, you never know what’s coming next! Just ride the waves as much as you can and concentrate on breathing and living.

Monika

Member since
April 2019

6 posts

Posted Sat April 20, 2019 10:00pmReport post

This is week two post knock. I still hope that this is just all a bad dream and that we will wake up again on our happy life before all of this...

I have 14 months old daughter and am currently 6 weeks pregnant with our second child. Ten knock came 2 days after I found out that I was expecting... The timing couldn't have been worse. My biggest worry is how to protect my daughter and my unbiru baby from harm that some people might inflict on them when the story gets reported in media. They are so innocent and have done nithing wrong. I cry every time I think about their lives being overshadowed by something they are not even aware of. Do any of you know of there is any way in which the case could be anonymised? It feels unfair and unjust to put some children at risk for the sake of getting justice for others. My husband and our family are already being punished for my husband's addiction to pornography.... Why punish innocent babies?

Big sigh

Member since
December 2018

244 posts

Posted Sat April 20, 2019 11:18pmReport post

You poor thing. There is never a good time for this to happen, but your timing sounds incredibly difficult. Unfortunately I haven’t heard of anyone who has found a way to be anonymous but I have seen people post on here saying something more interesting cropped up locally and so it was never reported by the papers.

Maria

Member since
September 2018

286 posts

Posted Sun April 21, 2019 7:16amReport post

The thing to remember is courts are very busy especially if you live in a large town or city. Reporters attend court every day but do not sit in every court room and do not report on every case. Unless you are unlucky or its in some way more interesting its only likely to be a local paper. No one reads local papers so few people will see It, it's unlikely to be interesting enough for front page news. Social media could potentially cause issues but there are ways to limit the damage like closing accounts. There are lots of people get through court without it being reported. Ensure you tell family and any very close/trustworthy friends so that should it come out in the press there are no shocks. It's not a guarantee that even if its in the paper that you will be attacked or anything like that.

Monika

Member since
April 2019

6 posts

Posted Sun April 21, 2019 9:36pmReport post

Thank you Maria and Big Sigh for your reassuring words. I have learnt so far from reading the posts that I need to take each day as it comes. Both, my husband and I have already closed our facebFac accounts and he is thinking of closing his LinkedIn account too. I am trying to be really strong for my beautiful daughter and prepare for the worst whilst hoping for the best . That's all I can do. I know that the next few months or even years will will be extremely challenging and I feel very scared how I will cope on my own with an under two year old and a newborn baby. My husband has been the best dad and husband and my daughter adores him. To even think that he might not be present in my other Barbie's life when she is born is breaking my heart.