First time posting, so upset and alone
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I had "the knock" on Nov 2018. My daughter was home. It tore our world apart. My 28 year old daughter suffers from depression and anxiety-can you imagine what this has done to her?
They didnt arrest my husband-they just took his computer etc away. He confessed that he had been addicted to porn for many years and it just got worse. He said he used to look for one second and delete it, the images/videos apparently made him cry.
I have read many articles on this and I do believe him, but that doesnt make it easy. He had to go for an interview in Feb this year, he gave a no comment interview as advised by his solicitor. A week ago my daughter and I were asked to come to the police station and both give a voluntary interview. Again both of us gave a no comment interview as advised by my husbands solicotor (not ours as they both said to answer the questions as obviously they were protecting us) the interview was awful, they explained in great detail what cat A was-I cannot get that out of my head and my poor daughter is so traumatised. Apparently they have found 8 cat A images/videos and 1 cat B that had been deleted, he hadnt been in a forum or shared anything. So I guess its pretty low level, but its still just the most terrible experience. He hasnt been charged with anything yet. I try to forget it most days, Im going through the ususal range of emotions, anger, despair, disgust, horror, shame, such sadness thast my daughter is involved, isolation and utter terror at what lies ahead. My husband is so sorry and ashamed, early on he tried to take his own life-which was awful. Im standing by him as he is a good man.
Would be so grateful to get support from anyone thank you x
They didnt arrest my husband-they just took his computer etc away. He confessed that he had been addicted to porn for many years and it just got worse. He said he used to look for one second and delete it, the images/videos apparently made him cry.
I have read many articles on this and I do believe him, but that doesnt make it easy. He had to go for an interview in Feb this year, he gave a no comment interview as advised by his solicitor. A week ago my daughter and I were asked to come to the police station and both give a voluntary interview. Again both of us gave a no comment interview as advised by my husbands solicotor (not ours as they both said to answer the questions as obviously they were protecting us) the interview was awful, they explained in great detail what cat A was-I cannot get that out of my head and my poor daughter is so traumatised. Apparently they have found 8 cat A images/videos and 1 cat B that had been deleted, he hadnt been in a forum or shared anything. So I guess its pretty low level, but its still just the most terrible experience. He hasnt been charged with anything yet. I try to forget it most days, Im going through the ususal range of emotions, anger, despair, disgust, horror, shame, such sadness thast my daughter is involved, isolation and utter terror at what lies ahead. My husband is so sorry and ashamed, early on he tried to take his own life-which was awful. Im standing by him as he is a good man.
Would be so grateful to get support from anyone thank you x
Hi Rosie1, I am so sorry that you are also having to deal with this awful situation. The emotions are almost overwhelming at times and so much is out of our control. Families are the forgotten ones in this mess. We didnt do anything wrong yet we feel like we are being punished just for loving someone. I hope you and your daughter are being helped and supported. Have you been able to talk to a friend or GP or a therapist?
I hope you don't mind me asking but I wonder why you had to be interviewed by the police? It is one of my fears that I may be hauled off the the police station, even though I was unaware of husbands activities. He tells me that his solicitor says that wouldn't happen. I really don't have any faith in the police at all. It seems terrible that you and your daughter have had to go through that trauma. X
I hope you don't mind me asking but I wonder why you had to be interviewed by the police? It is one of my fears that I may be hauled off the the police station, even though I was unaware of husbands activities. He tells me that his solicitor says that wouldn't happen. I really don't have any faith in the police at all. It seems terrible that you and your daughter have had to go through that trauma. X
Hi I to have been interviewed but they interviewed me at home. I was so scared I cannot think how you must have felt. I just wanted to send you a hug. X
It is so scary that the police can call family in for questioning! Do they need to do that to build a case, do they think families are complicit, which is disgusting, or do they do it just to put the families and accused through more hell?
Hi Tabs and Lisa and to all of you out there going through this, sending you hugs and support and thank you for your replies.
As the computer is a shared one we are assuming they can't prove who downloaded the images, so my husbands solicitor advised us to give a no comment interview. I think they are trying to build a stronger case against him, although I think they know it's him they wanted to rule myself and my daughter out by asking us did we know his password etc. My daughter gave a statement denying everything before the taped interview as advised by her solicitor. But I didn't.
We are trying to put it behind us, but it's so hard. I've never been in a police station before-it was horrendous.
We were told the computer is going back to check who was signed on-I would have thought they would have already done this? As the images were deleted, there was 10 and previous good character etc I'm hoping the CPS won't prosecute-who knows, and so the waiting continues.
Ive 2 more sessions left of 10, my daughters continuing with hers.
Thank you again x
As the computer is a shared one we are assuming they can't prove who downloaded the images, so my husbands solicitor advised us to give a no comment interview. I think they are trying to build a stronger case against him, although I think they know it's him they wanted to rule myself and my daughter out by asking us did we know his password etc. My daughter gave a statement denying everything before the taped interview as advised by her solicitor. But I didn't.
We are trying to put it behind us, but it's so hard. I've never been in a police station before-it was horrendous.
We were told the computer is going back to check who was signed on-I would have thought they would have already done this? As the images were deleted, there was 10 and previous good character etc I'm hoping the CPS won't prosecute-who knows, and so the waiting continues.
Ive 2 more sessions left of 10, my daughters continuing with hers.
Thank you again x
Hi, mine was we had two computers from years ago both the same and I said one was mine and that one had the Images on. The other came back clear. So they have said it was in the comfusion of the Knock I made an error and as my hb is pleading guilty its not a problem. But it has really set me back with my ptsd and they where in my kitchen. Hugs sweetie xx
Thank you both for your replies, I wish you both all the very best.
We are in the club that no one wants to be in and it's so unfair.
Stay strong everyone out there, I really feel for you all.
big hugs to all of you xx
We are in the club that no one wants to be in and it's so unfair.
Stay strong everyone out there, I really feel for you all.
big hugs to all of you xx
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