First post - help and advice
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A few months ago I found out my girlfriend sisters partner had been caught by police watching indecent videos of children online. He admitted it to the police and to us.
We were very close so this came as a real shock. And really devastated me. It's now transpired he has not been convicted.
I feel so much anger towards him and really dont want him in my life at all. I unfortunately have very little tolerance around this subject. I've made it very clear in a civil tone hes to keep away.
He knows some of my friends and I they dont know and I feel like I'm being a bad friend by not telling them. Some have kids and if anything every happened I dont think I would forgive myself
.. I then feel like I'm a bad person for covering things up in a way and not saying anything.
My partner's sister is still with him... she is been supportive but I'm just really struggling as I feel this is just all been pushed under the rug.. I don't feel like any justice has been served which is really getting to me.
Reaching out really to hear what other people think I should do... it's all very new to me this and taken me months to get to this point.
Feel like I could do with speaking to someone about It but not sure where to turn.
Thanks for your time to read this :-)
We were very close so this came as a real shock. And really devastated me. It's now transpired he has not been convicted.
I feel so much anger towards him and really dont want him in my life at all. I unfortunately have very little tolerance around this subject. I've made it very clear in a civil tone hes to keep away.
He knows some of my friends and I they dont know and I feel like I'm being a bad friend by not telling them. Some have kids and if anything every happened I dont think I would forgive myself
.. I then feel like I'm a bad person for covering things up in a way and not saying anything.
My partner's sister is still with him... she is been supportive but I'm just really struggling as I feel this is just all been pushed under the rug.. I don't feel like any justice has been served which is really getting to me.
Reaching out really to hear what other people think I should do... it's all very new to me this and taken me months to get to this point.
Feel like I could do with speaking to someone about It but not sure where to turn.
Thanks for your time to read this :-)
Hi, this is a really hard decision for you, my ex was convicted for IIOC and I found out he was on Tinder, meeting women, some with children and I was struggling with it, because I was worried for the women who would have no idea they were sleeping with a child sex offender and also worried for their children, because they don't have to disclose their crime straight away. One of the women was an old friend of mine so decided I had to tell her, I couldn't live with myself if anything happen. Then I reported him to Tinder and they took him off. I know he's still on other dating apps and it really worries me.
Why don't you call the help line and they might help you with what is the right thing to do.
Why don't you call the help line and they might help you with what is the right thing to do.
Hi there I agree with the others to call the helpline. They are so supportive and helped me massively in the beginning.
May I ask Do you know why he wasn't charged? It's not very often iv heard of a no further action in this type of crime.
You may be able to ask for a Sarah's law disclosure to see what risk he imposes.
May I ask Do you know why he wasn't charged? It's not very often iv heard of a no further action in this type of crime.
You may be able to ask for a Sarah's law disclosure to see what risk he imposes.
I agree with the others that you should call the helpline.
My husband also wasn't convicted. My understanding is that it's very rare to not go down the conviction route so there must be some very strong reasons why they didn't as all it takes is one photo or image for a conviction.
I also believe that for a NFA (which doesn't happen often) the police and CPS have to be very certain that it's in the public's interest to not convict, which to me tells me it's in the public's interest for you not to share information yourself.
Please, please think of the damage it could do if you share information. Once it's out there it is out there. It will ruin your partners sister's lives and those surrounding the individual and probably do more harm than good.
My husband also wasn't convicted. My understanding is that it's very rare to not go down the conviction route so there must be some very strong reasons why they didn't as all it takes is one photo or image for a conviction.
I also believe that for a NFA (which doesn't happen often) the police and CPS have to be very certain that it's in the public's interest to not convict, which to me tells me it's in the public's interest for you not to share information yourself.
Please, please think of the damage it could do if you share information. Once it's out there it is out there. It will ruin your partners sister's lives and those surrounding the individual and probably do more harm than good.