Dad arrested family devasted
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Hi all .. so glad I've found this.my dad was arrested about 3 months ago.
12 police officers searched my parents house at 7am. Dad was arrested for communication and sending pictures with a minor, he's 69! We as a family are devastated. Our lives and their house turned upside down. No support or guidance since. We decided to not tell anyone so we have had no one to talk to only each other which hasn't been easy. This combined with covid and losing my business and home has been the worst year ever.
All devices took away for forensic examination has neatly been complete.
I love my dad and equally hate him for what he has put us through especially my mum!
dad is not the same person, full of anxiety, lost so much weight and full of remorse.
he is now the victim - how can this be? Communication with a minor will always be chargeable offence no question. And registration on the sex offenders list. I ask how did my loving my dad get to this? He has admitted to me his daughter he was messaging someone about of 13 in a sexual manner.
for me I lost my dad that day.
I am scared for the future and what we will find out. The problem with decoys is that they never entice.. which hurts even more.
how can someone just start to do this?! Is that's soe
This something that's always been there and they've never been caught?! The internet is a dark world too easily accessible.
i would love to speak to people on the same situation it's a lonely world trying to do this on your own!
12 police officers searched my parents house at 7am. Dad was arrested for communication and sending pictures with a minor, he's 69! We as a family are devastated. Our lives and their house turned upside down. No support or guidance since. We decided to not tell anyone so we have had no one to talk to only each other which hasn't been easy. This combined with covid and losing my business and home has been the worst year ever.
All devices took away for forensic examination has neatly been complete.
I love my dad and equally hate him for what he has put us through especially my mum!
dad is not the same person, full of anxiety, lost so much weight and full of remorse.
he is now the victim - how can this be? Communication with a minor will always be chargeable offence no question. And registration on the sex offenders list. I ask how did my loving my dad get to this? He has admitted to me his daughter he was messaging someone about of 13 in a sexual manner.
for me I lost my dad that day.
I am scared for the future and what we will find out. The problem with decoys is that they never entice.. which hurts even more.
how can someone just start to do this?! Is that's soe
This something that's always been there and they've never been caught?! The internet is a dark world too easily accessible.
i would love to speak to people on the same situation it's a lonely world trying to do this on your own!
Luis,
welcome to the group no one wants to be part of sorry to see your dad has been arrested for this. It's my partner that is accused of something similar. You will experience a lot of different emotions and will have good and bad days as will your dad. The waiting is just the worst and can go on for several months so you just have to take things day by day.
please remember he is still your dad and you will still have all the good things to remember and he's made you who you are today. This flaw or error of judgement doesn't define him he's probably not a bad man? You prob never would have expected this that's probably why it's such a shock and devistating.
please don't think the decoys don't entice people into conversations or lure them into meetings because it can and does happen. I saw your comment on another post about it being a game I'm sure you've heard of catfishing? Some people try and catch them out but unfortunatly it doesn't work out like that. I know your head will be all over the place unfortunately these cases are never black and white like I would have thought before I found myself faced with this situation
I'm sure someone will come along with much better advice than me but please look after yourself and mum and huge hugs! X
welcome to the group no one wants to be part of sorry to see your dad has been arrested for this. It's my partner that is accused of something similar. You will experience a lot of different emotions and will have good and bad days as will your dad. The waiting is just the worst and can go on for several months so you just have to take things day by day.
please remember he is still your dad and you will still have all the good things to remember and he's made you who you are today. This flaw or error of judgement doesn't define him he's probably not a bad man? You prob never would have expected this that's probably why it's such a shock and devistating.
please don't think the decoys don't entice people into conversations or lure them into meetings because it can and does happen. I saw your comment on another post about it being a game I'm sure you've heard of catfishing? Some people try and catch them out but unfortunatly it doesn't work out like that. I know your head will be all over the place unfortunately these cases are never black and white like I would have thought before I found myself faced with this situation
I'm sure someone will come along with much better advice than me but please look after yourself and mum and huge hugs! X
Hi Luis
I really do 100% sympathise with you right now.. you commented on my post also
I am not far into this and I am still devastated, each day is a different emotional roller coaster and its just awful and I hope it gets easier
What makes it worse is the police just turn up and leave - my dad wasn't charged with anything and still hasn't been, no bail conditions or anything. I understand they need to do their job and prosecute those who need to be but what about the families who are then left broken and devastated
Have yoh called the helpline I have a few times now and I feel its really helpful - we too are not telling people right now so I don't really have anyone to talk to -
Try calling samaritans if you are struggling and need to vent! They are 100% confidential, they don't ask for your name and they don't recieve your number - its an impartial person that you can cry and rant too
Sending lots of love your way xxx
I really do 100% sympathise with you right now.. you commented on my post also
I am not far into this and I am still devastated, each day is a different emotional roller coaster and its just awful and I hope it gets easier
What makes it worse is the police just turn up and leave - my dad wasn't charged with anything and still hasn't been, no bail conditions or anything. I understand they need to do their job and prosecute those who need to be but what about the families who are then left broken and devastated
Have yoh called the helpline I have a few times now and I feel its really helpful - we too are not telling people right now so I don't really have anyone to talk to -
Try calling samaritans if you are struggling and need to vent! They are 100% confidential, they don't ask for your name and they don't recieve your number - its an impartial person that you can cry and rant too
Sending lots of love your way xxx
Hi both thank you for replying!
it means a lot to know others are going through the same thing.
The investigation is nearly complete - I found out few days ago.
the solicitor has said due to a backlog a court date won't be expected til next year.
part of me wants it all over and part of me doesn't. I feel like it's the calm before the storm.
I am in contact with solicitor who has confirmed dad will be charged as there is never possibility of a caution with such a serious offence, we are hoping for a suspended sentence due to dads ill health and age?!
anyone got experience of this?
To make it worse Dad is mentally not well, lost lots of weight, anxiety through the roof, he is full of remorse.
our solicitor has suggested he needs to get in touch with a psychosexual therapist who will then write a report which is used in his favour in court. He's not interested. I think he feels he doesn't deserve any support.
To top it all off me and my partner have had massive rows and now he has said he doesn't want anything to do with my dad and he's angry how much it's affecting me. I have agreed I'm going to back away from it now .. it's about my mum and dad really and their relationship?!
I wish this would just all go away!! Feels like I'm stuck in a bad dream!
it means a lot to know others are going through the same thing.
The investigation is nearly complete - I found out few days ago.
the solicitor has said due to a backlog a court date won't be expected til next year.
part of me wants it all over and part of me doesn't. I feel like it's the calm before the storm.
I am in contact with solicitor who has confirmed dad will be charged as there is never possibility of a caution with such a serious offence, we are hoping for a suspended sentence due to dads ill health and age?!
anyone got experience of this?
To make it worse Dad is mentally not well, lost lots of weight, anxiety through the roof, he is full of remorse.
our solicitor has suggested he needs to get in touch with a psychosexual therapist who will then write a report which is used in his favour in court. He's not interested. I think he feels he doesn't deserve any support.
To top it all off me and my partner have had massive rows and now he has said he doesn't want anything to do with my dad and he's angry how much it's affecting me. I have agreed I'm going to back away from it now .. it's about my mum and dad really and their relationship?!
I wish this would just all go away!! Feels like I'm stuck in a bad dream!
Hi Luis,
My dad is a similar age to yours and though the circumstances are very different. The feelings you are describing that you feel re your dad really ring true to me.
How can this man who brought us up to be the people we are today be capable of such horrors?
I'm finding it so difficult to see this behaviour and my dad as one and the same.
And how could he do this to us? How could he do it to the innocent victim/s?? How is this even real right now?
I do feel my thoughts are sometimes selfish and it's all about the impact its having on me and my children.
I don't know that I'll ever know the answers.
My dad is a similar age to yours and though the circumstances are very different. The feelings you are describing that you feel re your dad really ring true to me.
How can this man who brought us up to be the people we are today be capable of such horrors?
I'm finding it so difficult to see this behaviour and my dad as one and the same.
And how could he do this to us? How could he do it to the innocent victim/s?? How is this even real right now?
I do feel my thoughts are sometimes selfish and it's all about the impact its having on me and my children.
I don't know that I'll ever know the answers.