Struggling coming out of lockdown
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I am now a year in. HB was subject to a vigilante sting. There is no keeping this secret for me.
I am feeling very anxious and on edge again. Trying to understand why I'm feeling more so at the moment and I think it is because, whilst I was really lonely during lockdown I was also safe in my home. No coming face to face with people, no threat. Now that we are all moving around more and trying to live a 'new normal' I am having to try to become more normal too. And I'm finding it hard. When will it ever get easier?!!! Is it just me?!!x
I am feeling very anxious and on edge again. Trying to understand why I'm feeling more so at the moment and I think it is because, whilst I was really lonely during lockdown I was also safe in my home. No coming face to face with people, no threat. Now that we are all moving around more and trying to live a 'new normal' I am having to try to become more normal too. And I'm finding it hard. When will it ever get easier?!!! Is it just me?!!x
Glad it isn't just me. I am 18 months in. I really welcomed lockdown as I no longer had to go out pretending everything was OK
However, now I am finding life stressful. Got used to being at home alone. Find going out and meeting others hard work, a real effort. But we must try as it is not healthy to be alone so much and don't forget we have done nothing wrong.
Keep trying. It will get easier hopefully.
Izzy
However, now I am finding life stressful. Got used to being at home alone. Find going out and meeting others hard work, a real effort. But we must try as it is not healthy to be alone so much and don't forget we have done nothing wrong.
Keep trying. It will get easier hopefully.
Izzy
Sorry you feel it too Izzy, but good to know I'm not alone in feeling this way.
Friends try to tell me that people have forgotten about what's happened to me by now, they've moved on. And hopefully that's true. But there are so many people that I know that I have not seen or heard from since husbands sting. I don't know who knows and who doesn't, And what they may think. The sensible voice in my head says just try to be normal and just say that everything is fine, if asked. But then my anxiety, which I didn't suffer from before, kicks in, and I try to avoid them!
It is so very hard. As you say we have done nothing wrong. And that it is the truth. I just wish everyone else believed that too. x
Friends try to tell me that people have forgotten about what's happened to me by now, they've moved on. And hopefully that's true. But there are so many people that I know that I have not seen or heard from since husbands sting. I don't know who knows and who doesn't, And what they may think. The sensible voice in my head says just try to be normal and just say that everything is fine, if asked. But then my anxiety, which I didn't suffer from before, kicks in, and I try to avoid them!
It is so very hard. As you say we have done nothing wrong. And that it is the truth. I just wish everyone else believed that too. x
Also, I don't actually enjoy being out in this new world. Nothing about it is enjoyable. The social distancing, face masks etc add an extra layer of vigilance. I'm dreading the winter. Last autumn and winter went by in a bit of haze. This year, with restrictions in place, will be tough.
We have no choice other than to get through it. x
We have no choice other than to get through it. x
I totally get where you are coming from with regards to lockdown. I felt very similar.
My husband was convicted for communication offences almost 12 months ago. Although it wasn't in the paper, some people did find out and as a result we've stopped going to some places etc. In the last few months however things have actually been slightly different, he's seen one or two people in passing in the street who we used to talk to in the pub and they have been civil and acknowledged him. I took my car to the local garage and they actually asked after him. The boiler was serviced by someone we used to drink with. On his birthday last month one of our old friends who knows and who we hadn't seen for 11 months turned up with a card and some beers and we've now been out with them a couple of times.
I truely do think there is some truth in other people forget about it and move on to the next bit of news or gossip. For us, we have to live with it, there will always be something that reminds us of the situation.
I won't say even with all the above that I'm 100% comfortable with going out. I'm definitely not, I'm still paranoid and thinking that everyone is still talking about it behind our backs, even though there's clear evidence that might not be the case.
My husband was convicted for communication offences almost 12 months ago. Although it wasn't in the paper, some people did find out and as a result we've stopped going to some places etc. In the last few months however things have actually been slightly different, he's seen one or two people in passing in the street who we used to talk to in the pub and they have been civil and acknowledged him. I took my car to the local garage and they actually asked after him. The boiler was serviced by someone we used to drink with. On his birthday last month one of our old friends who knows and who we hadn't seen for 11 months turned up with a card and some beers and we've now been out with them a couple of times.
I truely do think there is some truth in other people forget about it and move on to the next bit of news or gossip. For us, we have to live with it, there will always be something that reminds us of the situation.
I won't say even with all the above that I'm 100% comfortable with going out. I'm definitely not, I'm still paranoid and thinking that everyone is still talking about it behind our backs, even though there's clear evidence that might not be the case.
Dear Tabs
Yes I too am feeling exactly the same!
I am going to continue to use the virus as an excuse I have decided, I have felt very safe being at home and not having to face people pretending everything is fine, as Izzy said as well. We don't actually have a big friendship group anyway, thank goodness!
If you don't feel up to getting back to normal...then put simply don't.
My partner was caught in a vilgilante sting????but the group do not live stream.
I confided in what I thought was a very good friend and she cut me off from that day with no contact since! I am sure she told people as well, but as we are 2 years and almost 3 months with nothing so far happening, I think people must think by now it is not true as he was Rui with no conditions at all ...(until court happens)
It is very very hard living with what our partners have done, no one deserves what has happened and the horrible repercussions, but I manage by just thinking about today, don't think about winter coming it is still a while away.
sending everyone big hugs
Mabel x x x
Yes I too am feeling exactly the same!
I am going to continue to use the virus as an excuse I have decided, I have felt very safe being at home and not having to face people pretending everything is fine, as Izzy said as well. We don't actually have a big friendship group anyway, thank goodness!
If you don't feel up to getting back to normal...then put simply don't.
My partner was caught in a vilgilante sting????but the group do not live stream.
I confided in what I thought was a very good friend and she cut me off from that day with no contact since! I am sure she told people as well, but as we are 2 years and almost 3 months with nothing so far happening, I think people must think by now it is not true as he was Rui with no conditions at all ...(until court happens)
It is very very hard living with what our partners have done, no one deserves what has happened and the horrible repercussions, but I manage by just thinking about today, don't think about winter coming it is still a while away.
sending everyone big hugs
Mabel x x x
mjl73, thank you for sharing your experiences. That gives me some hope. My husband and I have been separated since the sting. Only seen each other 3 times, for only minutes. Last week was the last time, we met for handover of important documents. I could not relax at all and left after 2 minutes. I know that he is responsible for his actions that got us into this position, but I feel that the vigilantes and the social media that followed have taken away my freedom to make my decision to see him or not. And my freedom to live as normal a life as possible. He has not been tried yet he is seen as guilty. We have been together for so many years, since teenagers, and being childless, he is my only close family, and now he's gone. I am so anxious and scared when we do meet in case one of us is recognised. The majority of his family have turned their back and are actually quite vicious, Most of my/our friends and my family are supportive, so it's his family, our 'acquaintances' and strangers I am anxious about.
I just want the police to either make their case or not, so I and everyone else knows what we're dealing with, not the lies told on the various social media pages.
Mabel, I so feel for you in this limbo for so long. It is a blessing that your vigilantes don't live stream. But must be awful to lose a friend who you confided in. She can't have been a good friend. My friendship group has really changed. This situation really challenges us all.
I still don't understand how the police have no responsibility to keep the people under investigation informed about the progress. And like you, why these men are 'punished' for giving a no comment interview by keeping them and their families and friends in this limbo for so long. It really doesn't seem right.
I hope we all get some good news soon. Or at least progress. I hope too mjl73, that your life goes back to normal, actually better than normal for you.
xxx
I just want the police to either make their case or not, so I and everyone else knows what we're dealing with, not the lies told on the various social media pages.
Mabel, I so feel for you in this limbo for so long. It is a blessing that your vigilantes don't live stream. But must be awful to lose a friend who you confided in. She can't have been a good friend. My friendship group has really changed. This situation really challenges us all.
I still don't understand how the police have no responsibility to keep the people under investigation informed about the progress. And like you, why these men are 'punished' for giving a no comment interview by keeping them and their families and friends in this limbo for so long. It really doesn't seem right.
I hope we all get some good news soon. Or at least progress. I hope too mjl73, that your life goes back to normal, actually better than normal for you.
xxx