All so tough!!
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Hi girls,
I'm sure my post will echo many others on here.
3.5 months since the knock for iioc. We have 2 boys, so husband can't live here right now. After 2 months he was able to visit us n spent time with us at home n days out. He just doesn't sleep here. We've been having nice family time but..
1. I can't stop thinking about the offence...all day every day!!
2. We are both terrified for the future, for court, the media risk etc etc...
Absolutely love my husband to bits. He is my soulmate. He is showing so much remorse for his actions n is going to be doing the inform course soon as am I. His end of bail hearing is 2 months away if it doesn't get extended again.
How do we cope with the limbo and anxiety and fears for the future??
I've just started a new part time job from home. I am doing all I can to manage my anxiety and mental health... meditation, candles, incense, medication, etc etc. It's still so tough. Will I ever go to bed without thinking about this or stop waking up in the night it hitting me..again?!
Thanks girls. Hope you're all doing as well as you can xxx
I'm sure my post will echo many others on here.
3.5 months since the knock for iioc. We have 2 boys, so husband can't live here right now. After 2 months he was able to visit us n spent time with us at home n days out. He just doesn't sleep here. We've been having nice family time but..
1. I can't stop thinking about the offence...all day every day!!
2. We are both terrified for the future, for court, the media risk etc etc...
Absolutely love my husband to bits. He is my soulmate. He is showing so much remorse for his actions n is going to be doing the inform course soon as am I. His end of bail hearing is 2 months away if it doesn't get extended again.
How do we cope with the limbo and anxiety and fears for the future??
I've just started a new part time job from home. I am doing all I can to manage my anxiety and mental health... meditation, candles, incense, medication, etc etc. It's still so tough. Will I ever go to bed without thinking about this or stop waking up in the night it hitting me..again?!
Thanks girls. Hope you're all doing as well as you can xxx
Hi
We all know how you are feeling at the moment as we have all been there. For me everything felt very raw for about the first 6 months. Have you been to your doctor or called the helpline? I was prescribed some anti-depressants. I was very against the idea but they do take the edge off the brittle emotions and help get me through each day. My advice is to take each day as it comes. Try not to not look too far forward but focus on the day and the good things that come out of it. You might be in for a long wait. Our case is 18 months since the knock and my husband got charged 4 weeks ago. His first court appearance is in October. I think by the time this is all over we could be close to 2 years. You can't live like you are feeling for that length of time. It is unhealthy and will take its toll. Fingers crossed your case moves more quickly. It depends on where you live I think.
All the best. This forum is a really good source of information and help. I wish I had found it sooner. Most of all look after yourself. Lots of virtual hugs.
Izzy
We all know how you are feeling at the moment as we have all been there. For me everything felt very raw for about the first 6 months. Have you been to your doctor or called the helpline? I was prescribed some anti-depressants. I was very against the idea but they do take the edge off the brittle emotions and help get me through each day. My advice is to take each day as it comes. Try not to not look too far forward but focus on the day and the good things that come out of it. You might be in for a long wait. Our case is 18 months since the knock and my husband got charged 4 weeks ago. His first court appearance is in October. I think by the time this is all over we could be close to 2 years. You can't live like you are feeling for that length of time. It is unhealthy and will take its toll. Fingers crossed your case moves more quickly. It depends on where you live I think.
All the best. This forum is a really good source of information and help. I wish I had found it sooner. Most of all look after yourself. Lots of virtual hugs.
Izzy
Hi girls
Thank you for your kind words. I know nobody understands better than you girls just how traumatic this whole process is! My anxiety comes and goes thankfully. I am doing everything I can to look after my mental health and process everything... Yes I am on anti depressants and call the helpline regularly.
I am also going to have my consultation for the course on Monday. I hope it helps me. The hardest part is the not knowing what will happen in the future with court and the fear of the media etc. I just want some reassurance that we will be able to live together as a family again one day. For now I am doing my best to enjoy the quality time we have together.
Izzy sorry to hear things took so long love. Although mentally I don't think either my husband or I could have coped with court etc in those early days! At least we have some time to process and they have time to work on their recovery etc.
Sending love and strength to you lovely ladies Xxxxxxx
Thank you for your kind words. I know nobody understands better than you girls just how traumatic this whole process is! My anxiety comes and goes thankfully. I am doing everything I can to look after my mental health and process everything... Yes I am on anti depressants and call the helpline regularly.
I am also going to have my consultation for the course on Monday. I hope it helps me. The hardest part is the not knowing what will happen in the future with court and the fear of the media etc. I just want some reassurance that we will be able to live together as a family again one day. For now I am doing my best to enjoy the quality time we have together.
Izzy sorry to hear things took so long love. Although mentally I don't think either my husband or I could have coped with court etc in those early days! At least we have some time to process and they have time to work on their recovery etc.
Sending love and strength to you lovely ladies Xxxxxxx
It's all I can think about too. I just feel nothing can be normal again. Does anyone who has been through this have a normal life? Wake up feeling happy? Stress about normal things? Able to relax on the sofa on a Saturday night? Plan for the future?
My ex got a caution from the police so that avoided the media completely, which I was relieved about.
However, he has been referred to the teacher regulation agency and their hearings are public. He does not have to attend but the findings are published so actually the media will print the full details. I didn't think this would happen because he's not actually a teacher. This affects me so much more than him because he lives 250 miles away and it is likely only to be printed in the local news. I just hope that without a photo or our address, people won't link it to me. At the moment I feel it is the calm before the storm.
I would love to hear from someone who can say "hey, my story is like yours and it was hell, but 5 years on I'm happy"
My ex got a caution from the police so that avoided the media completely, which I was relieved about.
However, he has been referred to the teacher regulation agency and their hearings are public. He does not have to attend but the findings are published so actually the media will print the full details. I didn't think this would happen because he's not actually a teacher. This affects me so much more than him because he lives 250 miles away and it is likely only to be printed in the local news. I just hope that without a photo or our address, people won't link it to me. At the moment I feel it is the calm before the storm.
I would love to hear from someone who can say "hey, my story is like yours and it was hell, but 5 years on I'm happy"
I also think there should be protection from the media for families of offenders. Why do addresses need to be printed? Often in my local with a picture of the actual street! Why????
I've just read it. Amazing and so true.