Brother arrested and social services
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Hello,
Cant believe I've even found myself on this forum ????
So this past weekend my brother was arrested for (I think) uploading images or maybe sending images - I'm not sure?! He has had all his devices seized and has been released pending investigation. I don't really know details and I'm too scared to ask. Don't think I'm ready to know. He has assured me it's not as bad as I think but don't know what to believe and my head it all over the place.
He currently lives with my Dad and it was his house that got the knock. My two daughters (5&7) stay there probably a a couple of days a month (with my Dad).
The police called me at the weekend as I guess they have to as my children had been in his company recently. I told them that I actually 100% trust him and that I know he wouldn't harm my kids at all (and I do believe that)
Today however I'm so confused - child services have called me and asked if I'm happy for them to contact my daughters school and gp to ask about if they have any safeguarding issues?? I'm not sure if they were implying that the 'situation' could be worse than I think or is this usual???
I said I didn't consent to it yet... it's only been a few days, I'm totally heartbroken and shell shocked and not sure why my kids school has to be involved when it's their uncle who they only see once a month has been arrested??
thanks xxxx
Cant believe I've even found myself on this forum ????
So this past weekend my brother was arrested for (I think) uploading images or maybe sending images - I'm not sure?! He has had all his devices seized and has been released pending investigation. I don't really know details and I'm too scared to ask. Don't think I'm ready to know. He has assured me it's not as bad as I think but don't know what to believe and my head it all over the place.
He currently lives with my Dad and it was his house that got the knock. My two daughters (5&7) stay there probably a a couple of days a month (with my Dad).
The police called me at the weekend as I guess they have to as my children had been in his company recently. I told them that I actually 100% trust him and that I know he wouldn't harm my kids at all (and I do believe that)
Today however I'm so confused - child services have called me and asked if I'm happy for them to contact my daughters school and gp to ask about if they have any safeguarding issues?? I'm not sure if they were implying that the 'situation' could be worse than I think or is this usual???
I said I didn't consent to it yet... it's only been a few days, I'm totally heartbroken and shell shocked and not sure why my kids school has to be involved when it's their uncle who they only see once a month has been arrested??
thanks xxxx
Hi HMG
sorry to hear that you have had to join us here on this site. I understand all the emotions you are feeling right now because we have been through them all. My son commited a communication offence. My daughter has a young child so very similar to your situation.
i can't stress enough to you that it's not afpdviseable to tell the police or social services that you think there's no risk to your child. This raises a red flag with them because they treat is as you will not take the unsupervised contact seriously.
social services were in touch with my daughter because of her brother. Here in Scotland they do not need parental permission to ask nursery/ health visitor or doctor about any safe guarding issues. In my daughters case, they went to them three before they contacted her, thankfully all three said there were no issues.
my daughter made it clear to the social worker that she knew there was a risk of some sort and talked them through how she was going to keep our grandson safe if her brother was near our grandson. She also did not try to defend her brother or minimise what he had done. This seemed to be enough for the social worker. She closed the case and left.
you are very early days and probably still in shock. I know we were for a long time so I know how it feels but please try and think about what your going to say to the social worker when she or he visits. Be ready for her with a plan of action would be what I'd advise. I hope there are more ladies on here who have had more extensive dealings with social services who can advise you more. Look after yourself x
sorry to hear that you have had to join us here on this site. I understand all the emotions you are feeling right now because we have been through them all. My son commited a communication offence. My daughter has a young child so very similar to your situation.
i can't stress enough to you that it's not afpdviseable to tell the police or social services that you think there's no risk to your child. This raises a red flag with them because they treat is as you will not take the unsupervised contact seriously.
social services were in touch with my daughter because of her brother. Here in Scotland they do not need parental permission to ask nursery/ health visitor or doctor about any safe guarding issues. In my daughters case, they went to them three before they contacted her, thankfully all three said there were no issues.
my daughter made it clear to the social worker that she knew there was a risk of some sort and talked them through how she was going to keep our grandson safe if her brother was near our grandson. She also did not try to defend her brother or minimise what he had done. This seemed to be enough for the social worker. She closed the case and left.
you are very early days and probably still in shock. I know we were for a long time so I know how it feels but please try and think about what your going to say to the social worker when she or he visits. Be ready for her with a plan of action would be what I'd advise. I hope there are more ladies on here who have had more extensive dealings with social services who can advise you more. Look after yourself x
I am in a similar situation but it is my dad that is the offender. My details where passed on to MASH by his PO (she did ring me first and ask if she could, although I felt I didn't really have a choice!). The following week I got a call to say they was doing there checks with drs, school etc before handing to CS. CS got in touch the week after, insisted on coming out to speak with kids individually. SW was nice, said she would need to video call to see in the house etc to do report but that was nearly 6 weeks ago and we haven't heard anything since. Anybody know how long these things take?
Hi confused
in our case my daughter was visited by social services when her brother was arrested. There was no assessment really at that point. Someone came out when he was convicted and sent to prison. I'm told it will be referred back when our son comes home. Here it is taking a long time even before corona. One person waited six months for the assessment for him to be allowed to see his niece which seems ludicrous. I'm not sure how long it's taking in England though. I don't think it's a huge problem for social services when the offender does not live in the same house as the child. Especially when it's an uncle or grandparent. From what I've read and from our experience of a social services visit it appears to be fairly straight forward. Basically I think social services just want to hear that you know what the offence is and to see that you have a plan to keep your child safe. I am certainly hoping against hope that is the case when it's an uncle or grandparent as I've read some real horror stories about social services. It's scary how many people end up with social work involvement because of someone else's crime. I'm thankful every day my daughter decided to stand by her brother. I truly believe offenders need support in order to get help to sort out their porn addiction/ possible past trauma etc. Without some support I'm not sure the re offend statistics would be so low for this sort of crime. Sorry I couldn't be of more help but I'm sure someone else with more experience with social services will reply to your post. Take care x
in our case my daughter was visited by social services when her brother was arrested. There was no assessment really at that point. Someone came out when he was convicted and sent to prison. I'm told it will be referred back when our son comes home. Here it is taking a long time even before corona. One person waited six months for the assessment for him to be allowed to see his niece which seems ludicrous. I'm not sure how long it's taking in England though. I don't think it's a huge problem for social services when the offender does not live in the same house as the child. Especially when it's an uncle or grandparent. From what I've read and from our experience of a social services visit it appears to be fairly straight forward. Basically I think social services just want to hear that you know what the offence is and to see that you have a plan to keep your child safe. I am certainly hoping against hope that is the case when it's an uncle or grandparent as I've read some real horror stories about social services. It's scary how many people end up with social work involvement because of someone else's crime. I'm thankful every day my daughter decided to stand by her brother. I truly believe offenders need support in order to get help to sort out their porn addiction/ possible past trauma etc. Without some support I'm not sure the re offend statistics would be so low for this sort of crime. Sorry I couldn't be of more help but I'm sure someone else with more experience with social services will reply to your post. Take care x