When can he come home?
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Hi guys
I know each case in individual but I'm just wondering if you can give me some idea as to how your cases were handled if further down the line. My husband was arrested for images in May 2020. End of bail this November. No idea on court. No disclosure as yet. He is currently allowed supervised contact with the kids and to visit us but not stay overnight.
We have worked through so so much and become stronger and stronger over these past few months. I want him home with us properly as soon as we can. I know of just one woman who's partner was allowed to live with them again before court and sentencing.
Are there any more of you who have been able to make this happen? This has caused so much disruption to our family as you all well know. I just want some hope we can be a family again in the not too distant future. Actually hope is the main thing keeping me going right now!! Xx
I know each case in individual but I'm just wondering if you can give me some idea as to how your cases were handled if further down the line. My husband was arrested for images in May 2020. End of bail this November. No idea on court. No disclosure as yet. He is currently allowed supervised contact with the kids and to visit us but not stay overnight.
We have worked through so so much and become stronger and stronger over these past few months. I want him home with us properly as soon as we can. I know of just one woman who's partner was allowed to live with them again before court and sentencing.
Are there any more of you who have been able to make this happen? This has caused so much disruption to our family as you all well know. I just want some hope we can be a family again in the not too distant future. Actually hope is the main thing keeping me going right now!! Xx
Hi Rainbowgirl
Thank you for your kind words on my post. As you know, I am in a different situation to yourself.
My sons case took a year of sheer hell to reach magistrstes and then crown court, which was two weeks later, for sentencing.
The hardest part is 'the not knowing' and the 'what is'. It's devastating. At the time of my sons offence, I felt so alone as I wasn't told of any support for partners and parents and only became aware of this website last week.
Please keep strong my love, you will get through this.
Big hugs
Ziggy xx
Thank you for your kind words on my post. As you know, I am in a different situation to yourself.
My sons case took a year of sheer hell to reach magistrstes and then crown court, which was two weeks later, for sentencing.
The hardest part is 'the not knowing' and the 'what is'. It's devastating. At the time of my sons offence, I felt so alone as I wasn't told of any support for partners and parents and only became aware of this website last week.
Please keep strong my love, you will get through this.
Big hugs
Ziggy xx
Thank you so much for your kind words Ziggy. It's gotten so quiet on here lately.
I know the limbo is horrific but also the prospect of the court case and risk of the media is terrifying. I guess it will be a means to an end though.
For now I am trying to learn to live each day and enjoy quality family time that given what's happened and compared to other people we seem to be very lucky to be able to have. Xxx
I know the limbo is horrific but also the prospect of the court case and risk of the media is terrifying. I guess it will be a means to an end though.
For now I am trying to learn to live each day and enjoy quality family time that given what's happened and compared to other people we seem to be very lucky to be able to have. Xxx
Hi again Rainbowgirl
I know exactly how you're feeling. I had never been to court until it was my sons magistrates court hearing. As he had excluded us from his case, I did not know what to expect.
My husband was unable to attend but my sons father went with me. Before going into court, we had a meeting with his solicitor. He explained the proceedings and dropped the bombshell that the police were also looking at charging my son with being involved in online videos. He argued the fact that there was absolutely no chance of that and the charges were dropped. His solicitor kept this from my son as he didn't want to add to his anxiety issues.
There were few people in court and the hearing lasted a matter of minutes and was referred to crown court for sentencing two weeks later. I was terrified and on the verge of tears.
My husband and I had a holiday booked when the crown court hearing was due. We could have postponed it for a week or two, but my son told us to go and now I bitterly regret that decision.
Like yourself, I was terrified of it being reported in the media. I did online searches of my sons name and nothing has ever appeared in the news, so please try not to worry about this too much sweet heart.
Keep strong
Ziggy xx
I know exactly how you're feeling. I had never been to court until it was my sons magistrates court hearing. As he had excluded us from his case, I did not know what to expect.
My husband was unable to attend but my sons father went with me. Before going into court, we had a meeting with his solicitor. He explained the proceedings and dropped the bombshell that the police were also looking at charging my son with being involved in online videos. He argued the fact that there was absolutely no chance of that and the charges were dropped. His solicitor kept this from my son as he didn't want to add to his anxiety issues.
There were few people in court and the hearing lasted a matter of minutes and was referred to crown court for sentencing two weeks later. I was terrified and on the verge of tears.
My husband and I had a holiday booked when the crown court hearing was due. We could have postponed it for a week or two, but my son told us to go and now I bitterly regret that decision.
Like yourself, I was terrified of it being reported in the media. I did online searches of my sons name and nothing has ever appeared in the news, so please try not to worry about this too much sweet heart.
Keep strong
Ziggy xx
Hi Rainbowgirl
I've been reading some of the other posts in the different forums. I agree with what you have said in that everybody's situation is different and that this is a club which nobody wants to be in.
I've seen many references to LFF, could you let me know what this stands for? Many thanks.
Ziggy x
I've been reading some of the other posts in the different forums. I agree with what you have said in that everybody's situation is different and that this is a club which nobody wants to be in.
I've seen many references to LFF, could you let me know what this stands for? Many thanks.
Ziggy x
Hi ziggy
Thank you for your replies.
I am very pleased to hear that your sons case didn't make the media. I hope and prey my husbands doesn't either!! It's a lottery n is no benefit to anyone except the horrid journalist!!
I hope you're being kind to yourself as you let the shock sink in. It may be worth you contacting MOSAC and asking if there is a similar service up north. I too am in the North. There's a counselling service in the city I live and I'm sure plenty in other areas. For now it may be worth speaking to your gp about a general counselling referral? Xxx
Thank you for your replies.
I am very pleased to hear that your sons case didn't make the media. I hope and prey my husbands doesn't either!! It's a lottery n is no benefit to anyone except the horrid journalist!!
I hope you're being kind to yourself as you let the shock sink in. It may be worth you contacting MOSAC and asking if there is a similar service up north. I too am in the North. There's a counselling service in the city I live and I'm sure plenty in other areas. For now it may be worth speaking to your gp about a general counselling referral? Xxx
Oh sorry and LFF is Lucy Faithfull foundation who are behind this forum and the helpline. They also run inform and inform plus training and I think also work with victims. X
Hi Rainbowgirl
Thank you for getting back to me again.
I've decided to wait for the reply to the message I sent to the help section.
Keep strong.
Big hugs xx
Thank you for getting back to me again.
I've decided to wait for the reply to the message I sent to the help section.
Keep strong.
Big hugs xx
Hi ziggy I sent an email weeks ago and no response perhaps calling maybe better.
Rainbow, My children's father is at home with us so I am sure there is hope, my worry is when children's services re open their case then he could be asked to leave. I did ask initially if they wanted him to leave but they said no so we hadn't put up a fight for him to stay here. I think with the right assessments for the both of you and as long as they were satisfactory im sure they could work towards him coming home but it's all based on risk i guess if they are happy to put Thier name to it
Rainbow, My children's father is at home with us so I am sure there is hope, my worry is when children's services re open their case then he could be asked to leave. I did ask initially if they wanted him to leave but they said no so we hadn't put up a fight for him to stay here. I think with the right assessments for the both of you and as long as they were satisfactory im sure they could work towards him coming home but it's all based on risk i guess if they are happy to put Thier name to it
Hey Summer
Thank you hunny..its crazy how inconsistent social services are across the boroughs.
To be honest though I didn't want him anywhere near the house when it first happened even though I knew I wanted the kids to see him I was too angry myself. We are spending lots of time together but obviously he cannot live here. I hold out hope that he will again one day. If we don't have hope we have nothing! Xxxx
Thank you hunny..its crazy how inconsistent social services are across the boroughs.
To be honest though I didn't want him anywhere near the house when it first happened even though I knew I wanted the kids to see him I was too angry myself. We are spending lots of time together but obviously he cannot live here. I hold out hope that he will again one day. If we don't have hope we have nothing! Xxxx