Am I just a b***h ?
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I have told my husband I will not have him back regardless of why he has done what he has done. In my eyes he had Cat A images on his phone and I cant get past that. Police have yet to charge him but hes left home at my request and doesnt speak to kids, police bail condition. I update him daily as we are allowed phone contact.
I will support him in having a relationship with his kids once he is allowed but not an romantic entanglement with me. I have noticed so many are standing by their men. Am I a bad person for still being there for him because i do care but not wanting to be with him?
I will support him in having a relationship with his kids once he is allowed but not an romantic entanglement with me. I have noticed so many are standing by their men. Am I a bad person for still being there for him because i do care but not wanting to be with him?
Hey tryingtokeepitnormal,
I have asked myself that for the last 17 months, however I am one that is staying with my partner. Not a decision that has been taken lightly, there have been times when he has been asked to leave the family home to give us both thinking time.
But with counselling for both of us and partner addressing his addiction, I no that with time we can get through it.
Whatever you decide is what is right for you and your family. I don't really think they is a right or wrong on this roller coaster that no one wants to be on.
Take care of you and stay safe
Mata x
I have asked myself that for the last 17 months, however I am one that is staying with my partner. Not a decision that has been taken lightly, there have been times when he has been asked to leave the family home to give us both thinking time.
But with counselling for both of us and partner addressing his addiction, I no that with time we can get through it.
Whatever you decide is what is right for you and your family. I don't really think they is a right or wrong on this roller coaster that no one wants to be on.
Take care of you and stay safe
Mata x
I made the decision to leave too. There were no excuses or reasons why my ex did what he did ( as in he wasn’t trying to catch anyone out as I believe you said was the case with your husband) He sent stuff to people, watched stuff, had conversations.
I don’t think you are wrong to leave, but nor would I think you’d be wrong to stay. You don’t have to decide anything right now though. Give yourself time to process what has happened. Xx
I don’t think you are wrong to leave, but nor would I think you’d be wrong to stay. You don’t have to decide anything right now though. Give yourself time to process what has happened. Xx
Hi there my situation is easier from that perspective in that my ex husband and I had already split. Also hes accused of actually abusing one of my children. On that basis I won't facilitate him ever having contact with my children.
What I can identify with is the knowledge that your ex is not the person you thought he was and you are most defintely not anything derogatory for not being able to get past that at all.
Sending love x
What I can identify with is the knowledge that your ex is not the person you thought he was and you are most defintely not anything derogatory for not being able to get past that at all.
Sending love x
Hi,
Don't feel bad for leaving, i left my ex husband, I believe there is no excuse for what he done, I also heard all the horrific details of what he was watching of the poor 8 year old girls that were being raped in court, I have nightmares about it, I can't be with someone who could get turned on by that. But every story is different and some stay and some leave, no right or wrong decisions.
Don't feel bad for leaving, i left my ex husband, I believe there is no excuse for what he done, I also heard all the horrific details of what he was watching of the poor 8 year old girls that were being raped in court, I have nightmares about it, I can't be with someone who could get turned on by that. But every story is different and some stay and some leave, no right or wrong decisions.
Sweetie it's totally up to you. There is no right or wrong in this situation. I gave decided to stay after many months of wiil I won't I but our kids are grown and left home. So very different for me. Keep strong xxx
He is continuously making excuses but in my eyes no matter what there is no excuse.i appreciate there are addicts and they start out with something else and end up doing what they do. I get that. But my husband got accused years ago of doing something and denied it, he got arrested. Was never charged. Gave another chance then. Did all the work etc.
But after another family member was arrested they couldnt prove who had been downloading as was family computer(parents house) I suggested he give police his laptop to show he doesnt access stuff like that. He was against it. That was 4 years ago. We got the knock a couple weeks ago, their intelligence was dating back to last year. I dug out that laptop and gave it up to the police. I think they will find something on it.
I admit it is easier to deal with because he is not here. All of you are amazing. You are doing what I cant x take care x
But after another family member was arrested they couldnt prove who had been downloading as was family computer(parents house) I suggested he give police his laptop to show he doesnt access stuff like that. He was against it. That was 4 years ago. We got the knock a couple weeks ago, their intelligence was dating back to last year. I dug out that laptop and gave it up to the police. I think they will find something on it.
I admit it is easier to deal with because he is not here. All of you are amazing. You are doing what I cant x take care x