Estranged from grandchildren. Will life ever go back to ‘normal?’
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I haven't been on here for a few months but lately I'm needing more support with anyone who happens to be in a similar situation please.
My brief story starts 11 months ago, with my son being sent to prison for 4 years for contact with a minor who actually turned out to be a police decoy. He was married and a father of 3 children. Since he's been in prison his ex wife has been vile to me, I think from the second she realised I wasn't disowning him. And I haven't disowned him for the pure fact that he has no one else and I'm afraid about what he might do.
I now no longer see my grandchildren incase I talk to them about him and fill them with lies apparently. I don't know what I have done to be treated like this when I'm just as much an innocent party in all this mess as she is.
has anyone else gone through this??
I seriously can't believe how much heartache can come from one situation.
Ive really had enough. When does it end or is this life now? Looking for someone who's further down the road to tell me this nightmare gets better because I don't know if I can take anymore.
My brief story starts 11 months ago, with my son being sent to prison for 4 years for contact with a minor who actually turned out to be a police decoy. He was married and a father of 3 children. Since he's been in prison his ex wife has been vile to me, I think from the second she realised I wasn't disowning him. And I haven't disowned him for the pure fact that he has no one else and I'm afraid about what he might do.
I now no longer see my grandchildren incase I talk to them about him and fill them with lies apparently. I don't know what I have done to be treated like this when I'm just as much an innocent party in all this mess as she is.
has anyone else gone through this??
I seriously can't believe how much heartache can come from one situation.
Ive really had enough. When does it end or is this life now? Looking for someone who's further down the road to tell me this nightmare gets better because I don't know if I can take anymore.
Hi Devastated
im sorry you are suffering in the way you are. I have no words of advice as two years on I still struggle with the whole situation. For me, it has never gone away but it has calmed down a lot. I no longer have butterflies in my stomach twenty four hours a day but I do still have bad days.
my son commited a communication offence and was sent to prison. He's due home soon. Thankfully he has no children but our daughter has a little boy who our son seen a lot before this and has had visits in prison with our daughters little boy. The anxiety of social services even thinking of making our daughter have no contact with her brother because of this is beyond words. Thankfully, this site has taught me that social services are unlikely to make our daughter make choices like that .
in your case, I think it's despicable of your daughter in law to even think about stopping you from seeing your grandkids. How dare she or anyone tar you for something your son has done. That's one of the things I hated about our sons case being reported, people assumed we were the same because we did not disown our son. They gave no thought to the fact that's my son and I just can't walk away. A mothers love is for live and not just for when things are going good! People can be so judgmental and bloody ignorant.
I would strongly suggest that you write to your daughter in law telling her everything how you feel etc in the hope that she will see sense. Good luck and keep posting on here when you need to x
im sorry you are suffering in the way you are. I have no words of advice as two years on I still struggle with the whole situation. For me, it has never gone away but it has calmed down a lot. I no longer have butterflies in my stomach twenty four hours a day but I do still have bad days.
my son commited a communication offence and was sent to prison. He's due home soon. Thankfully he has no children but our daughter has a little boy who our son seen a lot before this and has had visits in prison with our daughters little boy. The anxiety of social services even thinking of making our daughter have no contact with her brother because of this is beyond words. Thankfully, this site has taught me that social services are unlikely to make our daughter make choices like that .
in your case, I think it's despicable of your daughter in law to even think about stopping you from seeing your grandkids. How dare she or anyone tar you for something your son has done. That's one of the things I hated about our sons case being reported, people assumed we were the same because we did not disown our son. They gave no thought to the fact that's my son and I just can't walk away. A mothers love is for live and not just for when things are going good! People can be so judgmental and bloody ignorant.
I would strongly suggest that you write to your daughter in law telling her everything how you feel etc in the hope that she will see sense. Good luck and keep posting on here when you need to x
Devastated.. how absolutely awful.
Have you tried writing an open and honest letter to your daughter in law telling her how much you miss your grandchildren? This is so unfair on everyone and has massive ramifications
xx
Have you tried writing an open and honest letter to your daughter in law telling her how much you miss your grandchildren? This is so unfair on everyone and has massive ramifications
xx
Thank you so much for both your replies.
she has blocked my number and has moved address so I have no means of contacting her. My grandchildren are young and she said it was inappropriate for them to see me, reminding them of times with their dad. She's hoping because they are young that soon we all will be forgotten including their dad and she can move on and her new partner can play dad.
we were so close before and she literally turned evil within a few days. Saying I have chosen my peadophile son over my grandchildren. It's literally such a crappy situation I really can't get any lower :( I just pray when will God show mercy on us. It's been such a heartbreaking year :(
she has blocked my number and has moved address so I have no means of contacting her. My grandchildren are young and she said it was inappropriate for them to see me, reminding them of times with their dad. She's hoping because they are young that soon we all will be forgotten including their dad and she can move on and her new partner can play dad.
we were so close before and she literally turned evil within a few days. Saying I have chosen my peadophile son over my grandchildren. It's literally such a crappy situation I really can't get any lower :( I just pray when will God show mercy on us. It's been such a heartbreaking year :(
I'm afraid I can understand her reason for wanting to move on and try and put this mess behind her. I'm sure this was absolutely devastating for her. However it sounds like she has shown no empathy at all for the incredibly difficult situation that you found yourself in too. My husband is estranged from his parents (has been for years before this happened) but I'd never stop them seeing their grandchildren.
Can you find a way of reaching out to her somehow?
Can you find a way of reaching out to her somehow?
Hi I have also been stopped from seeing my grandchildren, it is breaking my heart???? I totally understand how you feel. All we can do is hope one day we will see them again, hugs to you x
Thank you for your replies ladies. Absolutely no hope of getting contact as numbers have been blocked and changed and they have moved address.
such a sad situation that has such a major effect on everyone involved. Sending hugs to u all xxx
such a sad situation that has such a major effect on everyone involved. Sending hugs to u all xxx
I too have lost my grandchild, i am so devested, she has moved away, i have so many things for the child i dont know hwat to do with them.