Taking back control of my life.
Notifications OFF
Like all of us on here our lives have flipped upside down sideways then 360. Since the knock back in June this year I am no longer the person I once was.
Joining this forum has been a massive source of education and knowledge which in the early days have helped immensely as not having any knowledge about this subject before that dreaded day came to me.
Today I started councilling. I haven't told a soul about that day. Not a friend, noone. I have like all of you carried the burden of what he has done. Iv painted on a brave face and carried on in order to make my living to pay my bills but I haven't been true to myself. I like many of you are awaiting the news of their charges and sentencing. For now I have put that side of things in a box but every now and then the thought of the media finding out and the public embarrassment comes hitting me in the face then I go into an impossible melt down situation and my anxiety goes through the roof. I'm sure you can relate. I have felt like my head is going to fall off. So I reached out to my local outreach for councilling and today it started. I have to start getting my head together in order to face these next few months.
I poured my heart out to this very empathetic person who has a plan in place to help support me and just for today I feel like something has shifted off my shoulders. I am going to be having regular sessions over the telephone for the next few weeks and hopefully I can learn some coping mechanisms to get my anxiety under control. Today I feel like I'm taking some control back over my life. I didn't ask for this and I need to start looking after me now.
How we all keep going and carry on I'll never know. If by me talking about my councilling inspires anyone of you to do it is highly recommend it. It felt so good to just release some of my story.
Joining this forum has been a massive source of education and knowledge which in the early days have helped immensely as not having any knowledge about this subject before that dreaded day came to me.
Today I started councilling. I haven't told a soul about that day. Not a friend, noone. I have like all of you carried the burden of what he has done. Iv painted on a brave face and carried on in order to make my living to pay my bills but I haven't been true to myself. I like many of you are awaiting the news of their charges and sentencing. For now I have put that side of things in a box but every now and then the thought of the media finding out and the public embarrassment comes hitting me in the face then I go into an impossible melt down situation and my anxiety goes through the roof. I'm sure you can relate. I have felt like my head is going to fall off. So I reached out to my local outreach for councilling and today it started. I have to start getting my head together in order to face these next few months.
I poured my heart out to this very empathetic person who has a plan in place to help support me and just for today I feel like something has shifted off my shoulders. I am going to be having regular sessions over the telephone for the next few weeks and hopefully I can learn some coping mechanisms to get my anxiety under control. Today I feel like I'm taking some control back over my life. I didn't ask for this and I need to start looking after me now.
How we all keep going and carry on I'll never know. If by me talking about my councilling inspires anyone of you to do it is highly recommend it. It felt so good to just release some of my story.
Hello Yazz not spoke in a while. Wow I am so so happy to hear you have started counselling. How you have got through this first stage without talking to anyone is beyond me. I just about functioned spending hours speaking to family, counsellors n my friend.
Counselling will be amazing for you as you're clearly ready and open for it. It's your space and time to explore every emotion of this... As we know it's an absolute roller-coaster!!
I totally agree.. You cannot think of everything at once.. You have to take things a day and a step at a time. 5 month for us tomorrow n hubby has signed for his own flat today. I've been very upset as its shaking things up again. I was hoping he could stay with his parents until he can come home but it's not feesible. There's so so much we cannot control in all of this.. But we can choose how we react to things. Counselling will help you get more control of your emotions.
Sending lots of love n strength to you... My fellow warrior!!! Xxx
Counselling will be amazing for you as you're clearly ready and open for it. It's your space and time to explore every emotion of this... As we know it's an absolute roller-coaster!!
I totally agree.. You cannot think of everything at once.. You have to take things a day and a step at a time. 5 month for us tomorrow n hubby has signed for his own flat today. I've been very upset as its shaking things up again. I was hoping he could stay with his parents until he can come home but it's not feesible. There's so so much we cannot control in all of this.. But we can choose how we react to things. Counselling will help you get more control of your emotions.
Sending lots of love n strength to you... My fellow warrior!!! Xxx
Ahhh Rainbow how are you?
Thank you for your kind words. I felt it was time. I'd pondered the idea for ages then I saw a poster in my gp surgery and decided to go for it. I'm surprised I haven't really waited that long either for it so yep big step in learning how to manage my head during this situation. It was uplifting being able to just say what iv needed to say if that makes sense.
Sorry to hear your husband is having to get his own flat. I can't even imagine how that must feel, it's like another blow to try and come to terms with isn't it? How are your kids bearing up through this?
Aw thank you! Your a warrior too! Lots of love to you too xxxxxxx
Thank you for your kind words. I felt it was time. I'd pondered the idea for ages then I saw a poster in my gp surgery and decided to go for it. I'm surprised I haven't really waited that long either for it so yep big step in learning how to manage my head during this situation. It was uplifting being able to just say what iv needed to say if that makes sense.
Sorry to hear your husband is having to get his own flat. I can't even imagine how that must feel, it's like another blow to try and come to terms with isn't it? How are your kids bearing up through this?
Aw thank you! Your a warrior too! Lots of love to you too xxxxxxx
Hey Yazz,
Be super proud of yourself for taking that first huge leap. Once you open up that communication there will be no stopping you... It will do you the world of good.
Me n hubby have both been emotional today. I've been helping him sort bits in his new place. It is tough but necessary.. For now. The kids are doing well. We are spending lots of time together as a family we just can't over night. They seem to be used to things as they are.
How are things with you and your partner? Xx
Be super proud of yourself for taking that first huge leap. Once you open up that communication there will be no stopping you... It will do you the world of good.
Me n hubby have both been emotional today. I've been helping him sort bits in his new place. It is tough but necessary.. For now. The kids are doing well. We are spending lots of time together as a family we just can't over night. They seem to be used to things as they are.
How are things with you and your partner? Xx
Hey rainbow
Ah thanks yeah it feels like a positive step iv made and I had a good cry this morning which I haven't done in a while. I'm sad to hear you've had an emotional day with your husband. It's just awful having to separate in such a difficult time and packing stuff up can't have been easy for you both. Glad to hear the kids are doing well and your spending time together as a family. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger right? Me and my partner are separated, he's living in his place I'm living at mine. Iv stopped all stay overs and affection is minimal. Whilst he's good at helping me with day to day stuff he still has put huge doubt in my mind and I have told him I will weigh things up after court in January. He's told noone and neither have I. I kept communication open as his mental health is deteriorating. As is mine I guess too. The more time has gone on I feel like I don't want to carry on with him anymore. I love what we had but I don't feel happy any more and can't see a way of becoming happy again after what he has put me through. He believes we will come through this but at this stage I don't see a way xx
Ah thanks yeah it feels like a positive step iv made and I had a good cry this morning which I haven't done in a while. I'm sad to hear you've had an emotional day with your husband. It's just awful having to separate in such a difficult time and packing stuff up can't have been easy for you both. Glad to hear the kids are doing well and your spending time together as a family. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger right? Me and my partner are separated, he's living in his place I'm living at mine. Iv stopped all stay overs and affection is minimal. Whilst he's good at helping me with day to day stuff he still has put huge doubt in my mind and I have told him I will weigh things up after court in January. He's told noone and neither have I. I kept communication open as his mental health is deteriorating. As is mine I guess too. The more time has gone on I feel like I don't want to carry on with him anymore. I love what we had but I don't feel happy any more and can't see a way of becoming happy again after what he has put me through. He believes we will come through this but at this stage I don't see a way xx