Family and Friends Forum

Hi gandeun

Sorry to find you in our group we don't want to be in. Currently I'm 4 months in. Similar to your husband, he's been found across all cats less than 300 waiting for sentencing. He's my partner. For the time being he's living separately from me. I can't bear him here. We are on talking terms. I have days we're I miss him and days were I don't want to hear from him. It's the situation he's put me in and he knows it's on my terms now. It's up to you if you decide to stay with your husband and you shouldn't be judged if you do. For me I am undecided. I am awaiting the sentencing and I will go from there. I can't think too far forward at the moment I can just about take this day by day. I do feel incredibly betrayed, iv lost all trust in him and I feel like I have never really known this person. It's been a huge trauma having the police at my door and I don't know if this can be forgiven. Only you know whether you can stay with your husband or not, you've spent along time with this person so you know him the most. Just take your time, reach out on here as much as you can and take things day by day. By going too far forward I think it overwhelms me even more and the future hasn't happened yet.

Sending you lots of love and strength yazz xxxx

Hi Gandeun

im sorry to hear about your situation. None of us want to be in the situation we have found ourselves in.

my son is the offender,, for communication so I can't advise to much about your situation. We have stood by our son because we love him dearly. What choice does a mother have but to stand by their child?

There are quite a few ladies on here who have stayed with their husbands. I'm told it's a long hard road but it can work in the long run. It's very sad that you have lost your children through something that you have not had any input in. Is your husband their dad? The devastation to children when this happens is absolutely horrendous whether they are younger or grown up. Those offences do not discriminate. They happen to all walks of lives. People's lives destroyed just by that one knock on the door. I'm told life will never be the same again by mothers and wife's but they all say that life does get better. I'm told life becomes a new normal which I am starting to see from my own situation.

I hope that some of the ladies who have stayed with their husband will reply to your post soon. Meantime, take care of you x

I will admit I met my partner after he had the knock and subsequently he was removed from the family home. He told me early on in the relationship he was under investigation for iioc and he admitted to the offending. I personally stuck by his side because he was so remorseful and had already done on rehabilitation and I did research into the types of offenders to understand he was not a contact threat.

His offending came from porn addiction, wanting more of a thrill and also to escape into fantasy. He would go on chat rooms posing as young people to get attention...

He was sentenced last year. The whole relationship has been up and down and yes lonely. No one in my family know. But since the sentencing we have more certainty and have our own 'normal'. Tho my partner is struggling to get access to his kids and that is heartbreaking.

Everyone has their reasons for staying and going. As long as you focus on your well-being that is key. Seek counselling if possible or use the helpline. This forum has helped me alot to see all sides of the coin. (I think that is the right saying)