We feel at a loss
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Hi there. I haven't post for a while but also have an update.
We had the knock back in feb 2018. In 2016 Husband went into normal porn chat room and was offered photo of someone sister. But before he could decline they were sent via a bolt file (whatever that is) total of 100 images all categories. Hindsight he should of reported them but he just deleted them. All devices were taken our laptops and his mobile. Laptops were returned but his mobile wasn't. So we had to get a new one.
On 3/9/20 he went to magistrates court pleading guilty. We had sex offenders team come round every day to minitor our devices again. Nothing found. Team said he hadn't sent any images.
Then 16/10/20 he had to go to crown court. His time was 9.30. We couldn't go to support him due to Covid. When he rang his solicitor day before to see if what/if he had to take anything (clothes, toiletries in case of the worse) he was told it had been pushed back to 1pm. So he went over for 1pm only to be told by court person it had been pushed back again to 2pm. Again why wasn't he informed by solicitor he had his phone number. Meanwhile his anxiety and mental state was getting worse. Once in there a reporter turned up which made us angry when we found out as we his family couldn't support him. Husband was given a 2yr suspended sentence, 10yr on SOR and £1450 court cost charge. Total including solicitor fees we have spent is £6000.
Early Sunday evening our world has been turned upside down as it was published in local online paper. Full of lies about case saying he sent said images and was aroused by them also gave our address. When we contacted our solicitor and sex offenders team they said press can print anything and nothing we can do.
Yesterday we awoke to find it all over social media and in printed paper. Again we asked team what can we do apart from deleting all social media. As you can imaging comments were vile. Nothing no support apart from if the damage property or make personal threats to us or members of family to call 999. Great support!!!!
Now it's Tuesday we have just found out that due to social media coverage he has lost his job. I'm on furlough from my job still awaiting to go back. My point is these so called journalists have no idea of damage they cause just to sell papers by making up said lies. My husband is not a pedophile. He has never touched children and has never got aroused by looking at the images or any image of a child as the papers have said. All he done was deleted the photos and not reported them.
Sorry for long post. We as a family are just at a loss.
We had the knock back in feb 2018. In 2016 Husband went into normal porn chat room and was offered photo of someone sister. But before he could decline they were sent via a bolt file (whatever that is) total of 100 images all categories. Hindsight he should of reported them but he just deleted them. All devices were taken our laptops and his mobile. Laptops were returned but his mobile wasn't. So we had to get a new one.
On 3/9/20 he went to magistrates court pleading guilty. We had sex offenders team come round every day to minitor our devices again. Nothing found. Team said he hadn't sent any images.
Then 16/10/20 he had to go to crown court. His time was 9.30. We couldn't go to support him due to Covid. When he rang his solicitor day before to see if what/if he had to take anything (clothes, toiletries in case of the worse) he was told it had been pushed back to 1pm. So he went over for 1pm only to be told by court person it had been pushed back again to 2pm. Again why wasn't he informed by solicitor he had his phone number. Meanwhile his anxiety and mental state was getting worse. Once in there a reporter turned up which made us angry when we found out as we his family couldn't support him. Husband was given a 2yr suspended sentence, 10yr on SOR and £1450 court cost charge. Total including solicitor fees we have spent is £6000.
Early Sunday evening our world has been turned upside down as it was published in local online paper. Full of lies about case saying he sent said images and was aroused by them also gave our address. When we contacted our solicitor and sex offenders team they said press can print anything and nothing we can do.
Yesterday we awoke to find it all over social media and in printed paper. Again we asked team what can we do apart from deleting all social media. As you can imaging comments were vile. Nothing no support apart from if the damage property or make personal threats to us or members of family to call 999. Great support!!!!
Now it's Tuesday we have just found out that due to social media coverage he has lost his job. I'm on furlough from my job still awaiting to go back. My point is these so called journalists have no idea of damage they cause just to sell papers by making up said lies. My husband is not a pedophile. He has never touched children and has never got aroused by looking at the images or any image of a child as the papers have said. All he done was deleted the photos and not reported them.
Sorry for long post. We as a family are just at a loss.
Oh Anxious, this is everyone's worst nightmare who is in the club of ours. It was the thing I dreaded most. I was told it was a 50/50 chance of it being reported and sadly, it was. No reporter on the day but the court sent the case to the paper to print. It was all over social media a week exactly after the court date and as you can imagine, the comments were vile. He lost his job and my children were threatened with rape as someone printed my address and posted a picture of my house and where they went to school. The police couldn't do anything apart from a priority 999 line as the threats weren't made directly to me.
Fast forward 8 months and things have settled. It's traumatised me no end but those who are worthy of me have stuck by us both and the ones who commented and shared (including friends would you believe!) have an awful lot of their own skeletons that will come out one day. It's made me realise who is important in my life. I manage to hold my head up high every now and then but it really has changed me.
I know the old saying 'time is a great healer' can sound like a broken record but it really does get better.
Fast forward 8 months and things have settled. It's traumatised me no end but those who are worthy of me have stuck by us both and the ones who commented and shared (including friends would you believe!) have an awful lot of their own skeletons that will come out one day. It's made me realise who is important in my life. I manage to hold my head up high every now and then but it really has changed me.
I know the old saying 'time is a great healer' can sound like a broken record but it really does get better.
Hi anxious
we had a similar situation but our son was the offender. The whole village knew and it was shared over social media. We were fortunate that we moved before it hit the paper but it did not make our anxiety any less. I wish I could say more to help you. I just wanted you to know that there are others who have been through the same or similar.x
KLM
how did you get on staying put where you are when it all came out? Did you have any face to face crap from people? Did your kids suffer any backlash at school because of it? I ask because our son is due home next month to our new area and I'm worried in case it all comes out here. I really don't think I could up and move again as it broke my heart to leave my original home. Also we can't keep running or we would never be done with moving x
we had a similar situation but our son was the offender. The whole village knew and it was shared over social media. We were fortunate that we moved before it hit the paper but it did not make our anxiety any less. I wish I could say more to help you. I just wanted you to know that there are others who have been through the same or similar.x
KLM
how did you get on staying put where you are when it all came out? Did you have any face to face crap from people? Did your kids suffer any backlash at school because of it? I ask because our son is due home next month to our new area and I'm worried in case it all comes out here. I really don't think I could up and move again as it broke my heart to leave my original home. Also we can't keep running or we would never be done with moving x
So sorry to hear this, this my nightmare my husband has magistrates court in January and it is the part I dread the most.
Glad to hear he got suspended sentence that is what I am praying for
Glad to hear he got suspended sentence that is what I am praying for
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