Family and Friends Forum

Hi

i am glad you have noticed this problem. Lots of ladies left the site because of one poster who was making judgments about sticking with your relativ who had offended. I think this is a great shame because the ladies who left were the very ladies who took the time to reply to almost everyone who posted on here. I, for one think the site has not been the same since. I find myself not posting for advice for myself because of the previous judgmental comments made but I do reply here and there to new posters when I can. I suspect many who post now are not getting the support that I did when ifirst found myself having to come here. Great shame that people have left because of one or two judgmental people. Nobody has the right here to judge. We are all here for the same reason. To get some support as the family of a sex offender. For me, it matters not if images or communication. Our pain, hurt, sadness, frustration and anxiety is the same whether your telative has been looking at images or communication with someone. People need to remember that and not take the moral high ground on what class of offender ladies are supporting . X

I too have noticed this problem and feel so sorry for new people who arrive here, bewildered, upset and desperately in need of support. It is such a shame that so many kind and experienced ladies felt they could no longer post about being supportive to their partners, or just with honest opinions, without risking hostility or judgement. These are the very ladies who have been so helpful and inspiring to others, and this type of non-judgemental support can really make a difference. In a world that makes harsh and incorrect snap judgements, this should be one of the few places where it is safe to be real, and safe to learn from other people's experiences.

I noticed the comment from Lucy Faithfull. I have been using the forum for about 15 months but I have been on this painful journey for 20 months. Although I want to express support for newcomers to the forum I have to admit after reading so many posts expressing so much pain and misery it is sometimes hard to find the words to help. This is made worse by the isolation of lock down. Also, nothing seems to change. The legal system ploughs on causing mayhem wherever it goes but society's knowledge and understanding of this type of offence still relies on the headline grabbing media which sees all such offenders as the 'p' word and monsters.



It is good that Lucy Faithfull are stepping in. Long may it continue.

Izzy

I totally agree with you Izzy, I feel the same. Nothing changes, people come and go on this site, which I have regularly come to for help and support, but it is very hard to know what to say sometimes with such awful stories of trauma & total destruction of people's lives.
I am so glad I found LFF, it has been a lifeline for me but I wish there was more help out there for us victims in the background.


Mabel xx

May have already been suggested but an indication of the number of replies on the posts would help. I wonder if those with no response are first time posters and by the time their post is screened it registers as the time of first submission rather than approval. So if it has been a busy day of posts the new people are lower on the list.

I hope that i havent been too negative in my posts. New to all this. I am amazed at how you all support each other. I hope that i havnt been judgemental, i often type how i think and sometimes it comes out like a rant, but its not. I have found sometimes just reading others posts helps me in my thinking, does that make sense? I am so glad i found this site. Thankyou