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Conifer20

Member since
October 2020

14 posts

Posted Wed October 21, 2020 6:09pmReport post

Hi,

I separated from my husband about 8months ago. Yesterday he was arrested for iioc. They have seized laptops and mobile phones. One of which used to be mine- I am terrified what they will find on the phone and that I will be dragged in for questioning. I had absolutely no knowledge of this at all but have accessed normal porn possibly on the phone- NOT iioc

majestictopaz15

Member since
December 2019

371 posts

Posted Fri October 23, 2020 12:39pmReport post

Hi conifer. Sorry to hear you are involved in this situation. Did your ex have access to your phone? If not you will have nothing to worry about. Perhaps ask to speak to the police team dealing with the case and make sure they know it is your phone and maybe they will search it first to then return it sooner. But I'm not sure if they have a priority on what they search first.

It might be a while until tech is returned, there doesnt seem to be consistency. For items found without iioc the police make no comment on what they find on there.

Sending hugs

Conifer20

Member since
October 2020

14 posts

Posted Fri October 23, 2020 1:45pmReport post

Hi,



I have spoken to the helpline and a counsellor who have assured me that the type of images he will have been watching leave a scar on your memory and that I would know if I accidentally clicked on something. My mind is playing tricks on me I think.
I just want to run away from all of this it is so unfair when I wasn't living with him and we had separated at the time of his arrest. He has admitted everything and has told me it has been going on for over 20 years- a lot longer than we were together.

majestictopaz15

Member since
December 2019

371 posts

Posted Fri October 23, 2020 8:16pmReport post

Offenders unfortunately are very good at hiding it from those close to them. My partner offended (online only) for ten years before getting caught. There is no excuse for it but there are resources online that can explain why people get caught up in this horrible crime. My partner is so remorseful and has had great support through Lucy faithful to get the help he needed to not reoffend. It is so hard to comprehend but majority lose all sense of empathy to the victims. Desensitized essentially. My partner needed the inform course to snap him out of it and chnage his mind set.

Please seek support, GP could maybe help, to help you process but also ensure you do not blame yourself. It is never someone elses fault and it is so hard to spot the signs. There is generally a huge lack of awareness in society to prevent people becoming offenders and catching them.



Sending hugs