It's getting out
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Since the knock in October I have battled on kept to what the police have told me to do to safe garud my children. My husband is working with stop it now and is in court on Wednesday. Yes I am standard by my husband he is trying so hard to get help for his porn addiction. I have woke up this morning to a message on Facebook off his ex asking me for information about what is going on so she can tell her daughter ( yes it is my husband daughter she is 21 this year and when it all happened I did tell the police about her but they said she was an adult and there was no need to say anything about it so no one has said anything) I am very reluctant to message her back as she has only every tried to cause problems for me.
Has anyone every had to move because of the whole thing and did you get any help with doing that I am I mum with very little and would not even know where to begin I am just worried that even tho I am doing all the safe gaurding I am doing I can't stop the outside world and I still think that my children are to young at the moment being 10 9 and 4 to be told what's going on I'm just at a lose end and starting to fear the out side world
Has anyone every had to move because of the whole thing and did you get any help with doing that I am I mum with very little and would not even know where to begin I am just worried that even tho I am doing all the safe gaurding I am doing I can't stop the outside world and I still think that my children are to young at the moment being 10 9 and 4 to be told what's going on I'm just at a lose end and starting to fear the out side world
Just to let you all know my husband has had no relationship with his older daughter since she was 3 because of the mother so I feel that really I don't have to tell her anything
Good morning Vic,
this is one thing I hate about all of this, people think they now ‘own’ the right to access any aspect of your privacy. The other thing I detest is that as the wife/girlfriend you’re automatically seen as the spokesperson of the alleged offender.
Your partners daughter is 21, an adult, capable of ringing her father directly. Speak to your partner and ask him to deal with it. We take far too much on our shoulders and are far to quick to take stuff on without thinking twice. If he’s got a contact number for her he could text her directly and ask her to ring him, he can then explain his situation...or not.
You are doing your role well, looking after your children as a priority but supporting your husband. I fell into the trap of thinking I had to deal with all the questions from everyone and nearly killing myself in the process.
One thing that would be good would be for you to agree a kind of statement (you may need that for any press attention) keep it short, to the point and stick to it, religiously. Then say nothing more. Focus on the important stuff, your kids, your health and those you love.
this is one thing I hate about all of this, people think they now ‘own’ the right to access any aspect of your privacy. The other thing I detest is that as the wife/girlfriend you’re automatically seen as the spokesperson of the alleged offender.
Your partners daughter is 21, an adult, capable of ringing her father directly. Speak to your partner and ask him to deal with it. We take far too much on our shoulders and are far to quick to take stuff on without thinking twice. If he’s got a contact number for her he could text her directly and ask her to ring him, he can then explain his situation...or not.
You are doing your role well, looking after your children as a priority but supporting your husband. I fell into the trap of thinking I had to deal with all the questions from everyone and nearly killing myself in the process.
One thing that would be good would be for you to agree a kind of statement (you may need that for any press attention) keep it short, to the point and stick to it, religiously. Then say nothing more. Focus on the important stuff, your kids, your health and those you love.
Thanks for listening it's so hard
We have no contact with his daughter what so ever (her mother went to the solicters 9 years ago and told them in a letter which I do have a copy of some where stating she and her partner now have done everything they can to make sure my husband will have nothing to do with his daughter and left it as that) I really don't see the point in why she would think she had the right to have any information about what is going on
I don't live in the best area as it is and to have kept this all a secret has been so hard but I know exactly how the narrow minded people are like around here so I am good Ng to brace my self for the back lash and pray and hope that people will leave my children out of it and just let them be
I don't know weather it is me just thinking the worst of every thing at the moment but at least the ball is moving and we have a court date and not been waiting as long as some people have had to wait but 3 months is still hard enough
Thank you everyone on here that has given me help and support it means so much to me xxx
We have no contact with his daughter what so ever (her mother went to the solicters 9 years ago and told them in a letter which I do have a copy of some where stating she and her partner now have done everything they can to make sure my husband will have nothing to do with his daughter and left it as that) I really don't see the point in why she would think she had the right to have any information about what is going on
I don't live in the best area as it is and to have kept this all a secret has been so hard but I know exactly how the narrow minded people are like around here so I am good Ng to brace my self for the back lash and pray and hope that people will leave my children out of it and just let them be
I don't know weather it is me just thinking the worst of every thing at the moment but at least the ball is moving and we have a court date and not been waiting as long as some people have had to wait but 3 months is still hard enough
Thank you everyone on here that has given me help and support it means so much to me xxx
Just keep going Vic. Nothing lasts forever, some days will be worse that others but each day is a step into the future. As far as Facebook is concerned do you have to be on there? It’s energy sapping so if you can do without it deactivate it. If you’d prefer not to do that really have a cull of dull and unnecessary ‘friends’. Block people who you think could become problematic, this woman sounds like a contender for the blocked list!
My mother gave me some good advice, she said be like the Queen - never complain, never explain. Don’t get drawn into the drama and titilation that others want to create. Best of luck!
My mother gave me some good advice, she said be like the Queen - never complain, never explain. Don’t get drawn into the drama and titilation that others want to create. Best of luck!