Lack of consistency
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Hi girls,
Just a rant about the above really... So for Internet (IIOC) offences.... There's no rhyme or reason I swear... For the same offence.... I have saw families treated completely different.... There was a woman here who said her husband was never asked to leave, he could stay home with the kids with restrictions. There's another woman who's husband has had no contact with the kids since the knock and has been told he won't until at least the end of the investigation.Then there's the families like me... Who I guess have to count our blessings that we are somewhere in the middle. The point is... There is no consistency.I've just started the Lucy faithful inform course... My husband starts the! Lucy faithful inform plus next week. He has been asked along with the other men on the course.. To take part in quantitive research a student who is doing a PhD is doing.... Partly funded by the uni n partly by Lucy faithful. It's looking at how the police and services handle the investigation and the impact n upon the offender and families. This will form a report that will be submitted to the police, social services, probation etc...Statistically... Internet offenders pose a 2-4 % chance of contact offending... Yet our lives and our families are completely blown apart to manage a minimal risk!! Let's hope it's time for change girls!! Xxxxx
Just a rant about the above really... So for Internet (IIOC) offences.... There's no rhyme or reason I swear... For the same offence.... I have saw families treated completely different.... There was a woman here who said her husband was never asked to leave, he could stay home with the kids with restrictions. There's another woman who's husband has had no contact with the kids since the knock and has been told he won't until at least the end of the investigation.Then there's the families like me... Who I guess have to count our blessings that we are somewhere in the middle. The point is... There is no consistency.I've just started the Lucy faithful inform course... My husband starts the! Lucy faithful inform plus next week. He has been asked along with the other men on the course.. To take part in quantitive research a student who is doing a PhD is doing.... Partly funded by the uni n partly by Lucy faithful. It's looking at how the police and services handle the investigation and the impact n upon the offender and families. This will form a report that will be submitted to the police, social services, probation etc...Statistically... Internet offenders pose a 2-4 % chance of contact offending... Yet our lives and our families are completely blown apart to manage a minimal risk!! Let's hope it's time for change girls!! Xxxxx
There is so much inconsistency it's brutal. Like you Rainbow I count myself lucky that we are somewhere in the middle. Also I know that we are a little further down the line so life is gettting a little easier. Even so, we are going through the process of trying to get permission for my husband to move back home and yet SS are treating him like a contact offender (even though his probation assessment said he was at less than 1% chance of a commmiting a contact offence!) and I feel like I'm being made to feel deluded and under the spell of a manipulative partner. SS are doing their own assessment - although I was told that they don't actually have any assessment tools because most partners don't have them back. Quite clearly the assessment done by probation isn't worth the paper it's written on. So essentially they have put together their own list of questions for each of us which took hours to go through. It's all depressing. I suspect that if he is ever allowed home the restrictions will make life so difficult (and viewed less than ten images over a 5 minute period and once)
It's so damn depressing.
Sending love to you both xx
It's so damn depressing.
Sending love to you both xx
Thanks so much Lost. That's incredibly helpful. As we are still in the 'assessment' (& I use this term loosely) phase we will see what the outcome is - although I'm not feeling very positive tbh. I didn't know about escalating it to the family courts. We don't have a lawyer but certainly will explore this if need be. You are right - it's easier for SS if families don't stay together and then they could close our case. Its a headache for them when we want to explore the option of being a family again and try to put the hellish year behind us. I'm not on the other forum so I'll take a look. You are very wise indeed. Thank you lovely xx
Hey girls,
Lost123, we talk lots about social services and their complete over management of risk.
Belle I sincerely hope you are able to have your partner home soon.
Tonight was the second week of the inform course for me. Its brilliant.... Highly recommended for anyone not yet done or considering.
However... I can't help feeling like it's preeching to the converted. We are the ones who are here trying to understand and educating ourselves. It's the professionals... The police, criminal justice system and social services who hold all the power. The ones who get to make decisions about our lives and out future. Yet they are the very ones who don't want to understand this offence. The fact we are given the number of the helpline by the police... Is a complete contradiction and makes me so angry!! Other people's judgemental and ignorance makes this whole horrific process 10 times worse!
Sending you both love and strength for this battle we have on our hands xxxx
Lost123, we talk lots about social services and their complete over management of risk.
Belle I sincerely hope you are able to have your partner home soon.
Tonight was the second week of the inform course for me. Its brilliant.... Highly recommended for anyone not yet done or considering.
However... I can't help feeling like it's preeching to the converted. We are the ones who are here trying to understand and educating ourselves. It's the professionals... The police, criminal justice system and social services who hold all the power. The ones who get to make decisions about our lives and out future. Yet they are the very ones who don't want to understand this offence. The fact we are given the number of the helpline by the police... Is a complete contradiction and makes me so angry!! Other people's judgemental and ignorance makes this whole horrific process 10 times worse!
Sending you both love and strength for this battle we have on our hands xxxx
Thanks so much Lost. I think we will definitely explore this if the outcome of the assessment isn't what we want. We have spent so much money on the lawyer (money we don't have!) I'm not sure we can afford yet more legal representation yet - but we will if we have to.
Rainbow - do you mind me asking how many hours the inform course is and how it's split up? I spoke to someone about it but the time commitment put me off - I'm either working or supervising contact / looking after the kids so I wasn't sure how I'd fit it in. It sounds good though and might help with our case to get my husband home. I'm sure you are right though about them preaching to the converted!
Xx
Rainbow - do you mind me asking how many hours the inform course is and how it's split up? I spoke to someone about it but the time commitment put me off - I'm either working or supervising contact / looking after the kids so I wasn't sure how I'd fit it in. It sounds good though and might help with our case to get my husband home. I'm sure you are right though about them preaching to the converted!
Xx
Completely agree with the inconsistency. My husband has just been told that he is medium risk because of the offence and it cant be lowered. So how have some people managed unsupervised access with children. Surely they are all medium risk if the offence is the same? He viewed images.