What helps you - self care
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I, like all the rest of you feel awful. I cry, I drink too much and avoid friends because it's easier than lying but I wondered what have you found makes you feel a bit better? Do you have any little strategies that can help? Self care is important for us but I like many women are not very good at it. Anyone got any suggestions?
Hi Rebecca
Iv read a few of your posts and wanted to reach out to you as I feel your really struggling. In case you haven't read my story I'm 4 months since the knock. The first week was the hardest of my life. I broke out in coldsores, stopped eating, was barely functioning, a nervous wreck when the door knocked.
I decided alcohol was a no go. Its a depressant and its only gonna make me feel temporarily better then hit me like a tonne of bricks the next day. It makes my anxiety worse. I work front of house in my job so I have to be extremely friendly even though I'm dying inside.
I knew I had to keep my strength up, keep my immune system strong in order to function, and get my shit together in order to survive in order to go to work, pay my bills even though I'd rather hide under my blanket forever. In regards to self care I found comfort in watching light hearted stuff on TV, avoiding the news and negative programmes, keeping busy with jobs in the house and I even got a rescue dog who relies on me for walkies. Iv found this to be of great importance as it clears my head even if its only for a little while.
I guess like others on here they may agree time helps things move on a little and you find something in the day may make you smile like you once would. I am in no way the same person I once was. My relationship is in tatters, he believes we are still together and we will get through it whilst I'm struggling with the anxiety of court and sentencing for him and the possible public embarrassment. He won't talk about it and I have no one I can talk to. Iv started councilling recently as iv told not one person in my life what happened that sunny day in June and For the first time in a long time I felt a little lifted when I told the Councillor what had happened.
I don't know what support you have but I hope you do talk to someone whether it be on here, phone Lucy faithful, samaritans or even look into councilling. I'm sure you know alcohol isn't the answer. Try and keep yourself busy. Do one nice thing for yourself each day whether it be a blow dry, a bubble bath, paint your nails, have a. Coffee with a friend. Meditation may be beneficial also.
This is a rough ride for everyone of us on here. The initial shock is a crash on the system, a turmoil which is a lengthy one, we need do look after ourselves as we Carry this burden, to survive and ultimately put YOU first. You haven't asked for this, don't punish you! You deserve all the love and care right now. We all do. I'm Slowly getting my head round what's happened, his case is in court January and I know its going to be a difficult ride ahead. But I'm not gonna put myself down any longer. We are all here for you. Lots of love
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Iv read a few of your posts and wanted to reach out to you as I feel your really struggling. In case you haven't read my story I'm 4 months since the knock. The first week was the hardest of my life. I broke out in coldsores, stopped eating, was barely functioning, a nervous wreck when the door knocked.
I decided alcohol was a no go. Its a depressant and its only gonna make me feel temporarily better then hit me like a tonne of bricks the next day. It makes my anxiety worse. I work front of house in my job so I have to be extremely friendly even though I'm dying inside.
I knew I had to keep my strength up, keep my immune system strong in order to function, and get my shit together in order to survive in order to go to work, pay my bills even though I'd rather hide under my blanket forever. In regards to self care I found comfort in watching light hearted stuff on TV, avoiding the news and negative programmes, keeping busy with jobs in the house and I even got a rescue dog who relies on me for walkies. Iv found this to be of great importance as it clears my head even if its only for a little while.
I guess like others on here they may agree time helps things move on a little and you find something in the day may make you smile like you once would. I am in no way the same person I once was. My relationship is in tatters, he believes we are still together and we will get through it whilst I'm struggling with the anxiety of court and sentencing for him and the possible public embarrassment. He won't talk about it and I have no one I can talk to. Iv started councilling recently as iv told not one person in my life what happened that sunny day in June and For the first time in a long time I felt a little lifted when I told the Councillor what had happened.
I don't know what support you have but I hope you do talk to someone whether it be on here, phone Lucy faithful, samaritans or even look into councilling. I'm sure you know alcohol isn't the answer. Try and keep yourself busy. Do one nice thing for yourself each day whether it be a blow dry, a bubble bath, paint your nails, have a. Coffee with a friend. Meditation may be beneficial also.
This is a rough ride for everyone of us on here. The initial shock is a crash on the system, a turmoil which is a lengthy one, we need do look after ourselves as we Carry this burden, to survive and ultimately put YOU first. You haven't asked for this, don't punish you! You deserve all the love and care right now. We all do. I'm Slowly getting my head round what's happened, his case is in court January and I know its going to be a difficult ride ahead. But I'm not gonna put myself down any longer. We are all here for you. Lots of love
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I’m still in my 1st week and really struggling. I let my toddler go to stay with his grandma for a few days while I went to work and did the normal things. He’s home and I think I’m going to take some time off work and concentrate on myself and my family.
Watching tv helps. I’ve tried reading but can’t concentrate long enough. Coming on here and reading posts helps too.
I can talk to my partner he’s been truthful with me. I’ve had to ask him though as he’s not a big talker but he’s answered my questions some of his answers have been hard to hear.
Ive also been to the doctor and have to sets of tablets. I try not to take the diazepam as I don’t want to be to dependant on them.
I have the phone number for a counsellor and plan to ring them tomorrow. I’m at the very beginning of it all and have been told it could take up to a year. So it looks like I’ll be around a lot and for a long time if u need someone to talk to x
Watching tv helps. I’ve tried reading but can’t concentrate long enough. Coming on here and reading posts helps too.
I can talk to my partner he’s been truthful with me. I’ve had to ask him though as he’s not a big talker but he’s answered my questions some of his answers have been hard to hear.
Ive also been to the doctor and have to sets of tablets. I try not to take the diazepam as I don’t want to be to dependant on them.
I have the phone number for a counsellor and plan to ring them tomorrow. I’m at the very beginning of it all and have been told it could take up to a year. So it looks like I’ll be around a lot and for a long time if u need someone to talk to x
Thanks so much for your replies. It means a lot. Although it's been 3 weeks I have been living with my sons disclosure of the multiple rapes and sexual abuse he endured for a year now so for about 12 months I have been in a kind of fog. Your suggestions are so kind but you are right I am in a bad place. As I've posted over the last 4 years my brother took his own life, my dad died just suddenly one day then my mum as the result of medical neglect. Every time I try and get up from my knees something else happens and I am really not sure how much of this hell I can endure. You are right I shouldn't drink but it numbs things for such a short time and blocks out the flashbacks of my brothers body and what my Mum went through. It's like someone has run into my life with a bomb dropped it and left. I have no family have got rid of all My friends over the last year after finding out I had let my family be groomed and now we face such a bleak future. I have no idea what my son has done and if he will end up in prison.
That feels like such a pity party for myself but it's where I am. I don't mean to moan. I do try to be strong. I get up everyday I do everything I have to like some mindless robot and try to do what I have to. Im making so many mistakes at work now my head feels so foggy. I'm doing random acts of kindness everyday bought an old woman a book of stamps she had to queue up for, (it made her so happy) take the neighbours bins in, I even left a bunch of flowers on next doors doorstep today with no card. I think out of all this horror I don't want to stop being kind. That probably sounds really weird but my whole life can't just consist of this insidious rottenness.
I am sorry to moan so much. Thanks for those who posted. It helps so much. Thank you xx
That feels like such a pity party for myself but it's where I am. I don't mean to moan. I do try to be strong. I get up everyday I do everything I have to like some mindless robot and try to do what I have to. Im making so many mistakes at work now my head feels so foggy. I'm doing random acts of kindness everyday bought an old woman a book of stamps she had to queue up for, (it made her so happy) take the neighbours bins in, I even left a bunch of flowers on next doors doorstep today with no card. I think out of all this horror I don't want to stop being kind. That probably sounds really weird but my whole life can't just consist of this insidious rottenness.
I am sorry to moan so much. Thanks for those who posted. It helps so much. Thank you xx
So Sorry to hear everything that you are going through I think you've just got to do whatever is working for you obviously drink isn't the answer but it definitely has its place if you need it, just be mindful of looking after yourself you are important- that's coming from me who put myself to the bottom of the pile for far too long xx