Family and Friends Forum

Name changing good idea or not?

Notifications OFF

Rebecca 1234

Member since
October 2020

67 posts

Posted Wed November 4, 2020 9:58amReport post

I've seen this talked about before but I have all the forms now and am unsure what to do. Firstly, has anyone done this? Everything changes doesn't it? Doctor, passport? Or can you keep those the same. I feel very confused by it and whether it's a good idea.



for anyone who doesn't know my position to give context my son has just turned 19 and is being investigated for images. He hasn't shared anything else with me so I am not sure if there is anything else.



It's just he is starting out on his life. As people know he was abused for around 3 years from the age of 7 and everything in his head, his 'normal' is very distorted.



I am very lost and confused about what to do. It's a massive step isn't it and everyone who knows him will still call him by his name. His identity is already damaged. I don't want to make our situation any worst! And in my experience things can always get worst.



With how stressed I feel I am struggling to think straight tbh and some advice and suggestions would help me through this awful fog!

Rusty123

Member since
October 2020

172 posts

Posted Wed November 4, 2020 12:11pmReport post

Hi Rebecca and lost.

Ive been thinking this but for my son he’s the only one that shares his surname but he’s 3 years old. Will I need to get his dads approval before changing it or can I go ahead and do it anyway? It’s such a mess we are in through no fault of our own.

Hope your both well. Stay safe

thanks Rusty x

Rebecca 1234

Member since
October 2020

67 posts

Posted Wed November 4, 2020 12:26pmReport post

Thanks Lost and Rusty. It's the order of doing things that confuses me. Someone told me do it ASAP then you give your new name when you are charged? But Lost you've been told to do it the other way round? We are thinking of moving.



rusty if you share PR I think you would. But your partner should surely see it's what you believe to be in your best interests?

Rusty123

Member since
October 2020

172 posts

Posted Wed November 4, 2020 1:00pmReport post

Thank you.

Sorry to jump on the post but I think I saw in another of ur posts Lost that u plan to stay with ur husband? What do SS think of this? They asked me what I want and I said I didn’t know and I get the feeling my SW wasn’t happy with that answer.

nicenana

Member since
March 2019

243 posts

Posted Wed November 4, 2020 2:32pmReport post

Hi

we have been through a name change. If the person is over eighteen they need no permission to change name. If under that age then permission from both parents is needed.

iwould not advise a name change before conviction because they will more likely than not convict under the new name as your under law to advise the court of a name change. My son changed his name to my maiden name after conviction so that hopefully nobody will know anything when he comes home in a few weeks. Hope this helps x

Rusty123

Member since
October 2020

172 posts

Posted Wed November 4, 2020 2:57pmReport post

Hi thanks nicenana and lost.

Its only been a week and a half and it’s all still new I’m a wreck sat here waiting on SW calling. I don’t like her I find her very abrupt. I’m such a mess my heads all over the place and apart from the financial side of it I don’t know what lies ahead for our relationship.

Thanks Rusty.