What happens now?
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Hi, I'm brand new here but really need to talk. Obviously going to change some details for anonymousity.
A family member was arrested for having child pornography. He is a 30 odd year old man.
I don't know any details other than they have admitted it.
What happens now? I have a young child so the police informed us as they have had contact (apparently they contact all families with children whom the person may have had contact with recently).
Will the police need to speak with us formally or with my child? Will social services be involved? I am completely blown away and confused. I have so many questions but no one to ask! Can't talk about this in real life yet.
What is going to happen to my family member? I am 100% sure he has had no inappropriate contact with my child as they have only ever interacted at family gatherings (usually less that 10 people) and my child is not a shy kid, always playing or climbing over me, my husband or his grandparents, never mysteriously been off with relative or really been out of mine or my husbands site at these gatherings.
A family member was arrested for having child pornography. He is a 30 odd year old man.
I don't know any details other than they have admitted it.
What happens now? I have a young child so the police informed us as they have had contact (apparently they contact all families with children whom the person may have had contact with recently).
Will the police need to speak with us formally or with my child? Will social services be involved? I am completely blown away and confused. I have so many questions but no one to ask! Can't talk about this in real life yet.
What is going to happen to my family member? I am 100% sure he has had no inappropriate contact with my child as they have only ever interacted at family gatherings (usually less that 10 people) and my child is not a shy kid, always playing or climbing over me, my husband or his grandparents, never mysteriously been off with relative or really been out of mine or my husbands site at these gatherings.
Bump?
Hi
Im no expert but I can advise from reading on here and my own experience. My so is the offender. My daughter has small son. Social services called after charge to tell her no unsupervised contact. Fast forward to conviction. Social worker visited and ask my daughter to tell her what her brother had done. This was to make sure she knew the truth of what he had done. She confirmed that she knew everything. She was then told case closed as long as no unsupervised contact. My son was sent to prison for communication offence and is due home this month. I. Led to believe this will trigger another visit from social services in order for them to clear our son to see our grandson under supervision. I think if it's an uncle etc social services are not heavily involved. It's more a case of making sure you know all the details of the offence and them making sure you know that your child won't be alone with the offender. That's as much as I know. Sorry I can't be of more help x
Im no expert but I can advise from reading on here and my own experience. My so is the offender. My daughter has small son. Social services called after charge to tell her no unsupervised contact. Fast forward to conviction. Social worker visited and ask my daughter to tell her what her brother had done. This was to make sure she knew the truth of what he had done. She confirmed that she knew everything. She was then told case closed as long as no unsupervised contact. My son was sent to prison for communication offence and is due home this month. I. Led to believe this will trigger another visit from social services in order for them to clear our son to see our grandson under supervision. I think if it's an uncle etc social services are not heavily involved. It's more a case of making sure you know all the details of the offence and them making sure you know that your child won't be alone with the offender. That's as much as I know. Sorry I can't be of more help x
Thank you both so much for responding.
Will remember to not say I'm 100% sure about it, must tell DH too as I'm guessing he would get the call (family member on his side).
Neither of us have slept for days and go from being so sad to pissed off. I really want to be there for family member but then I still don't really know what has happened. I'm not sure I'll ever know the full details unless family member tells us? All we know is child pornography so unsure if this is 17yos, children or infants!
I'm making loads of excuses in my head for FM too and I'm annoyed and disgusted with myself. I found myself thinking that it's not a big deal if it's 'only' 17yos as they are more or less an adult and can legally have sex, but I know that this isn't okay and is still illegal! No matter how old they are still someone's child and I have no idea the circumstances around how they ended up making porn/being photographed or whatever. Is this normal to try and justify and downplay what they've done?
Does this make me a terrible mother?
Will remember to not say I'm 100% sure about it, must tell DH too as I'm guessing he would get the call (family member on his side).
Neither of us have slept for days and go from being so sad to pissed off. I really want to be there for family member but then I still don't really know what has happened. I'm not sure I'll ever know the full details unless family member tells us? All we know is child pornography so unsure if this is 17yos, children or infants!
I'm making loads of excuses in my head for FM too and I'm annoyed and disgusted with myself. I found myself thinking that it's not a big deal if it's 'only' 17yos as they are more or less an adult and can legally have sex, but I know that this isn't okay and is still illegal! No matter how old they are still someone's child and I have no idea the circumstances around how they ended up making porn/being photographed or whatever. Is this normal to try and justify and downplay what they've done?
Does this make me a terrible mother?
Hi worried in November.
Just want to say, downplaying stuff in ur head is a way of coping, but police and courts see all images of anyone a day under 18 as IIOC, these images are widely available apparently?? and seemingly totally unregulated, have a read through some older posts, and you'll soon see the horrific availability.
but no one ever seems to stop the people that are making this available. And physically hurting these children. 17 0R 7 ... 12 OR 2 they do not consent, it's totally unacceptable, and child abuse.. but They just trace and trap the person that's looked and blames them. As they say if people didnt look the images wouldn't be there...
But if I close my eyes, the bloody moon is still there even if I dont look at it...
In my head if I search for something random like... erm .. "any celebrity" or any other random person and click on images, it will give me a full set of pics from early acting/career.. to present day.
These are not illegal and once I've clicked or saved said file I have in effect been ... making images.. cos it's in my history..
I am in no way excusing the behaviours it's so wrong but so easy to get at. And so.many lives are affected. Just through online, cyber unreality... its heartbreaking.
Speak to lff, or any other support people, safer lives, safer living, stop so. And get their advice. And..
Most of all, from my prospective (mum of youg lad offender) support them where you can, because your family member will need all the support they can get. For a long long time ... and keep on coming on here cos this is the place to speak to people going through it and you wont be judged, ignored or yelled at.. x
Hugs xxx
Just want to say, downplaying stuff in ur head is a way of coping, but police and courts see all images of anyone a day under 18 as IIOC, these images are widely available apparently?? and seemingly totally unregulated, have a read through some older posts, and you'll soon see the horrific availability.
but no one ever seems to stop the people that are making this available. And physically hurting these children. 17 0R 7 ... 12 OR 2 they do not consent, it's totally unacceptable, and child abuse.. but They just trace and trap the person that's looked and blames them. As they say if people didnt look the images wouldn't be there...
But if I close my eyes, the bloody moon is still there even if I dont look at it...
In my head if I search for something random like... erm .. "any celebrity" or any other random person and click on images, it will give me a full set of pics from early acting/career.. to present day.
These are not illegal and once I've clicked or saved said file I have in effect been ... making images.. cos it's in my history..
I am in no way excusing the behaviours it's so wrong but so easy to get at. And so.many lives are affected. Just through online, cyber unreality... its heartbreaking.
Speak to lff, or any other support people, safer lives, safer living, stop so. And get their advice. And..
Most of all, from my prospective (mum of youg lad offender) support them where you can, because your family member will need all the support they can get. For a long long time ... and keep on coming on here cos this is the place to speak to people going through it and you wont be judged, ignored or yelled at.. x
Hugs xxx
Hi lost123
Do u know I get so riled up that the Marge Simpson on strictly showed her big blue knickers and they got loads of complaints, and Amanda Holden boobs are a constant supply of media complaints, BUT the people who actually physically abuse children photograph it in real life and put it online are the seemingly gods of the www. Because they help catch all the sex offenders... with all the hidden trojan techie things that make the end user traceable.
The world has gone completely mad...
You can watch kids fall off god knows what on you've been framed.
You can see on the news who's had what boob job or penis enlargement.
Celebs in see thru clothes, thongs, mankind. Catwalk models.. The list goes on..
Animals fornicating in graphic detail. But that's nature..
Operations full blood and guts and gore...
And we can all watch this cos it's not happening in front of us in our real life reality.
Real.life emergency medics. Etc. 24 hours in a&e
Honestly I would pass out in most of those situations if I was actually there . But it's a virtual world so I watch the programs and close my eyes and say ewww or ouch..
Sorry I've lost my train of thought...
I guess a lot of what we watch we wouldn't watch if it was in our house in real life. But porn is there, it's another virtual thing. And theres a fine line to acceptable x factor / popstar outfits. To illegal life changing pictures.
And it needs to stop. Be traced and websites need to be made accountable for allowing it.
Sorry rant over..
Xx
Do u know I get so riled up that the Marge Simpson on strictly showed her big blue knickers and they got loads of complaints, and Amanda Holden boobs are a constant supply of media complaints, BUT the people who actually physically abuse children photograph it in real life and put it online are the seemingly gods of the www. Because they help catch all the sex offenders... with all the hidden trojan techie things that make the end user traceable.
The world has gone completely mad...
You can watch kids fall off god knows what on you've been framed.
You can see on the news who's had what boob job or penis enlargement.
Celebs in see thru clothes, thongs, mankind. Catwalk models.. The list goes on..
Animals fornicating in graphic detail. But that's nature..
Operations full blood and guts and gore...
And we can all watch this cos it's not happening in front of us in our real life reality.
Real.life emergency medics. Etc. 24 hours in a&e
Honestly I would pass out in most of those situations if I was actually there . But it's a virtual world so I watch the programs and close my eyes and say ewww or ouch..
Sorry I've lost my train of thought...
I guess a lot of what we watch we wouldn't watch if it was in our house in real life. But porn is there, it's another virtual thing. And theres a fine line to acceptable x factor / popstar outfits. To illegal life changing pictures.
And it needs to stop. Be traced and websites need to be made accountable for allowing it.
Sorry rant over..
Xx