Hep how do I understand this
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So I've been here before when my husband was arrested for iioc back in 2018, we had the knock in the September and he was convicted in February this year. He got a suspended sentence and probation. He has to sign the register for 5years.
I found out over night that he uses my phone while I'm asleep. My password for my phone is my finger print so he's been using it.
I feel like I'm back to square one doubting everything. He seems remorseful again but how do I deal with this.
I found out over night that he uses my phone while I'm asleep. My password for my phone is my finger print so he's been using it.
I feel like I'm back to square one doubting everything. He seems remorseful again but how do I deal with this.
Do you know what he has been using it to do?
He has been using it to watch porn and admitted last night that some of the websites contained questionable videos that the ages of the people are a bit young.
It is up to you but is breach of the SHPO if he has one. I personally would report it if it were my partner. I have told him any signs of him breaching conditions I will report to his police officer. The police always ask me that my partner doesn't know my password. I had never thought about the fingerprint being used in my sleep.
There is the debate whether offenders should be allowed acces to porn. But it sounds to me your partner is at risk of relapsing. Perhaps ask him to review the rehabilitation course he attended if he did. If he hasn't done a course I highly recommend the inform course. Or get him to ring the helpline. The fact he admitted it to you may mean he is looking for help to chnage this behaviour.
Sending hugs
There is the debate whether offenders should be allowed acces to porn. But it sounds to me your partner is at risk of relapsing. Perhaps ask him to review the rehabilitation course he attended if he did. If he hasn't done a course I highly recommend the inform course. Or get him to ring the helpline. The fact he admitted it to you may mean he is looking for help to chnage this behaviour.
Sending hugs
Thank you, I have reported him to the police officer for the breach. And I have him going to a saa meeting today on zoom.
I feel like I'm back to the day of the knock again. Its such a set back.
I feel like I'm back to the day of the knock again. Its such a set back.
Definitely well done for reporting him. Agree with majestictopaz, he maybe asking in a way for help
D1286,
Morning, i dont know if anyone else has told you but if the police were to come and take devices again if they have concerns and take yours, they would be looking at you for IIOC offences. You need to change how you access your phone so he cant. It might also be worth seeking advice.
Do you have any way to prove it was him using your phone?
I am worried for you after reading your post. It sounds like he is still offending but trying to hide it.
Sorry if sounds harsh and not wanting to upset you.
Hope you are going to be ok.
Also apologies for not reading all through other comments first. Well done for reporting him, have you offered police your phone so they can see what he was accessing?
Morning, i dont know if anyone else has told you but if the police were to come and take devices again if they have concerns and take yours, they would be looking at you for IIOC offences. You need to change how you access your phone so he cant. It might also be worth seeking advice.
Do you have any way to prove it was him using your phone?
I am worried for you after reading your post. It sounds like he is still offending but trying to hide it.
Sorry if sounds harsh and not wanting to upset you.
Hope you are going to be ok.
Also apologies for not reading all through other comments first. Well done for reporting him, have you offered police your phone so they can see what he was accessing?
Yes I've given them my phone and I can prove it was him so the police are doing the whole process again.
I've been advised to get what looks like a burner phone that can't do Internet for my phone so he can't be tempted to try again. The police have taken all the devices again to look into everything again.
He seems like he's being truthful with me one minute and next he's lieing to me.
I feel like I'm back at square one using self harm as a coping mechanism and not eating or sleeping very well. I feel like I've no true marriage at the minute.
I've been advised to get what looks like a burner phone that can't do Internet for my phone so he can't be tempted to try again. The police have taken all the devices again to look into everything again.
He seems like he's being truthful with me one minute and next he's lieing to me.
I feel like I'm back at square one using self harm as a coping mechanism and not eating or sleeping very well. I feel like I've no true marriage at the minute.
D1286 please try and stop the self harm as a coping mechanism I know it's hard, my husband ended up in hospital before this all happened because he was doing the same.
As a teenager I did the same too..
It's so difficult to see any light at the end of the tunnel but please if you're having difficulty coping try phoning the samaritans instead of self harming.
Have you spoken to your GP about getting some medication and help?
As a teenager I did the same too..
It's so difficult to see any light at the end of the tunnel but please if you're having difficulty coping try phoning the samaritans instead of self harming.
Have you spoken to your GP about getting some medication and help?