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Staying Faithful

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BrokenButterfly91

Member since
November 2020

4 posts

Posted Thu November 12, 2020 10:29amReport post

Hi, I never thought I'd be doing this but I have nowhere else to turn. My partner of 6 years was sent to prison 7 months after I met him for indecent images he got 1 year in prison and I decided to stand by him I love him so much he was released from prison and we carried on our life but last year he got arrested for communicating with a child which turned out to be a police officer because the 'child" was under 13 he got 6 years in prison and once again here I am supporting him loving him whilst trying to manage my own mental health I have depression and anxiety. I guess the reason I'm here is because I have told him repeatedly that I love him and will remain faithful I thought we were doing ok then yesterday he said that if I wanted to cheat I could just dont tell him, I mean I feel so betrayed I have given this man my unconditional love and support from the very beginning and now he's saying I can cheat!I cant work out if he's really insecure and worried about losing me so that's why he said it or if he thinks I'm like that and gonna do it anyway, I dont know how else I can prove I love him



Sorry for ranting i realise my problem is trivial to others but I didnt know where else to go thank you

Blackhound

Member since
October 2020

479 posts

Posted Thu November 12, 2020 7:07pmReport post

I think he's giving you a way out of the relationship to be honest. His needs are primary to yours.

BrokenButterfly91

Member since
November 2020

4 posts

Posted Thu November 12, 2020 9:33pmReport post

Hi Blackhound

Except I don't want a way out I love him I only want him and il wait for him. We spoke tonight and apparently he was joking when he said I could cheat but just not tell him, clearly I've lost my sense of humour

Blackhound

Member since
October 2020

479 posts

Posted Thu November 12, 2020 9:44pmReport post

So is he in prison for the next six years? Did he admit to commuting the offence? Has he made any strides to change his behaviour?

I understand you want to wait for him but 6 years is a long time..

Have you talked him about it x

BrokenButterfly91

Member since
November 2020

4 posts

Posted Thu November 12, 2020 9:55pmReport post

He admitted it straight away and said he was really sorry he has alcohol issues and low self esteem I make no excuses for him and he knows this as for making changes he was getting therapy before he was arrested I think this sentence has been a shock for him he did say he understands if I dont wait for him but I already told him I will wait I dont understand why he would make a joke about cheating it seems that he's fine but when relationships break down he reoffends we split up briefly and that's when he done it, he has said he's sorry he wants to get help and I guess only time will tell if he means it, I just hate that I'm the one feeling guilty for maybe overreacting to a joke that just wasn't funny .. thank you for responding

BrokenButterfly91

Member since
November 2020

4 posts

Posted Thu November 12, 2020 10:01pmReport post

He's in for 6 but 4yrs in eligible for parole x

Blackhound

Member since
October 2020

479 posts

Posted Fri November 13, 2020 10:30amReport post

Heya Broken,

In and amongst everything please remember to take care of yourself. I know he most likely hates himself, most of them who plead guilty do.

My personal experience is that sometimes it can take multiple F*** ups for people to change. This is not an excuse at all.

Regarding the joke, I wouldn't stress too much about it. He's probably in a dark place right now...

Have you got any therapy in place or counselling to try and help you deal with this situation?