Angry tonight.
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Heya everyone,
Feeling very angry tonight, very moody and ticked off. I deserve better.
When it happened, which was a while ago we were going through a particularly rough patch and had continued to for the following months. He had undiagnosed (diagnosed now) high depression. He massively self harmed this year and is currently getting in control of his drinking problems.
He's just slammed the door after an arguement, he's been in a mood since our conversation earlier. I made a comment and he didn't like it, he has something to do for therapy tomorrow and he panicking because he doesn't have his laptop to do it, meaning he'd have to use mine was has a patch of dead pixels on.
We were on the tail end of marriage therapy before it happened and it was working, then the knock.
What he did... Without going too much into details, he wanted the attention of others due to his confusion and used stupid images to get it. Its not the first time he's been caught wanting attention from others, but I forgave him last time and I was just at the point of trusting him, feeling that fidelity and trust was something we had built up, it was strong. Its shattered now, he said it wasn't cheating but I don't know.
He was confused about a number of things at the time, he had told me briefly but we never discussed it further.
Where do I draw the line?
7 years we've been together, married for 1.
I think I need therapy to talk this through but I'm tactfully avoiding it at the moment because then I'd have to face things.
He's admitted everything straight away, plead guilty and it was a handful of time and images.
He was on his way to improving himself and is atm. I just have no clue what to do. I'm taking it day by day, or trying to. I know there are bad days but come on, I've had the shittiest year, I don't need this.
Sigh. I just needed to vent tonight.
Feeling very angry tonight, very moody and ticked off. I deserve better.
When it happened, which was a while ago we were going through a particularly rough patch and had continued to for the following months. He had undiagnosed (diagnosed now) high depression. He massively self harmed this year and is currently getting in control of his drinking problems.
He's just slammed the door after an arguement, he's been in a mood since our conversation earlier. I made a comment and he didn't like it, he has something to do for therapy tomorrow and he panicking because he doesn't have his laptop to do it, meaning he'd have to use mine was has a patch of dead pixels on.
We were on the tail end of marriage therapy before it happened and it was working, then the knock.
What he did... Without going too much into details, he wanted the attention of others due to his confusion and used stupid images to get it. Its not the first time he's been caught wanting attention from others, but I forgave him last time and I was just at the point of trusting him, feeling that fidelity and trust was something we had built up, it was strong. Its shattered now, he said it wasn't cheating but I don't know.
He was confused about a number of things at the time, he had told me briefly but we never discussed it further.
Where do I draw the line?
7 years we've been together, married for 1.
I think I need therapy to talk this through but I'm tactfully avoiding it at the moment because then I'd have to face things.
He's admitted everything straight away, plead guilty and it was a handful of time and images.
He was on his way to improving himself and is atm. I just have no clue what to do. I'm taking it day by day, or trying to. I know there are bad days but come on, I've had the shittiest year, I don't need this.
Sigh. I just needed to vent tonight.
Hi Blackhound,
I was on here a couple of weeks ago and you kindly messaged me and gave me some advice, 1 piece of advice I took from you was to see a counsellor. I have had 1 session so far which as you can imagine was very very hard, I hate talking about what my hb did but I did talk and it felt good afterwards.
I don't know if you have anyone close that you can talk to I don't so I'm going with this forum and the counsellor, it is hard to do but it is also rewarding for our own mental health.
Self care is important WE are important, do something to make you happy even if it is just for a brief moment, anything is better than feeling sad, angry bitter.
Take care of yourself and stay safe
Mata x
I was on here a couple of weeks ago and you kindly messaged me and gave me some advice, 1 piece of advice I took from you was to see a counsellor. I have had 1 session so far which as you can imagine was very very hard, I hate talking about what my hb did but I did talk and it felt good afterwards.
I don't know if you have anyone close that you can talk to I don't so I'm going with this forum and the counsellor, it is hard to do but it is also rewarding for our own mental health.
Self care is important WE are important, do something to make you happy even if it is just for a brief moment, anything is better than feeling sad, angry bitter.
Take care of yourself and stay safe
Mata x
Hey Mata,
Thanks for replying so fast. I had a couselloer lined up but we didn't gel. Tomorrow I am going to phone the stopso therapist because I think it's going to be easier for me to talk to them and open up. Like you I am not looking to having to talk about what my husband has done either.
I think it doesn't help that I was struggling before with my mental health. I am seeing a massive decline in my self worth at the moment.
I have a GP appointment next week which I will talk about with them... And my husband seems to think I am bipolar. I was continously up and down with my emotions and as of late, its enhancing it even further.
But I am not a doctor, so I cannot say otherwise...
I'm just tired of everything.
My and my husband had an argument and a massive chat afterwards this evening. We've realised we're very different people. With this investigation revelation and through our marriage therapy before the knock he was taking steps to change, even more so now... I explained I was feeling so angry, because he'd hurt me before with infidelity and with this... I want to hurt him, I want him to feel the pain I have experienced. He said that he has been in pain, just a different kind.
I've had problems with obsession before and we've had a very young toxic relationship previous. I feel like we were just starting to grow up in our own ways.
Then this and its knocked me for six so much that I want to regress and shy away.
I have his parents to talk to who know about his investigation, I'm very close with his mum, as is he...
But sometimes I just wanna talk to my mum and break down... She doesn't know... I'm sure she wouldnt hate my husband if she knew... I really don't know.
I'm sorry to babble on but honestly I just feel like I needed to get all of this off of my chest...
Thanks for replying so fast. I had a couselloer lined up but we didn't gel. Tomorrow I am going to phone the stopso therapist because I think it's going to be easier for me to talk to them and open up. Like you I am not looking to having to talk about what my husband has done either.
I think it doesn't help that I was struggling before with my mental health. I am seeing a massive decline in my self worth at the moment.
I have a GP appointment next week which I will talk about with them... And my husband seems to think I am bipolar. I was continously up and down with my emotions and as of late, its enhancing it even further.
But I am not a doctor, so I cannot say otherwise...
I'm just tired of everything.
My and my husband had an argument and a massive chat afterwards this evening. We've realised we're very different people. With this investigation revelation and through our marriage therapy before the knock he was taking steps to change, even more so now... I explained I was feeling so angry, because he'd hurt me before with infidelity and with this... I want to hurt him, I want him to feel the pain I have experienced. He said that he has been in pain, just a different kind.
I've had problems with obsession before and we've had a very young toxic relationship previous. I feel like we were just starting to grow up in our own ways.
Then this and its knocked me for six so much that I want to regress and shy away.
I have his parents to talk to who know about his investigation, I'm very close with his mum, as is he...
But sometimes I just wanna talk to my mum and break down... She doesn't know... I'm sure she wouldnt hate my husband if she knew... I really don't know.
I'm sorry to babble on but honestly I just feel like I needed to get all of this off of my chest...