Still Painful
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I have not posted on here before, but the story is that my husband of 30 + years was found to be accessing child porn two years ago this month. It had not been a happy marriage and I threw him out. He now lives in a bed sit.
I though it was getting better, but at times the pain just comes back a deep deep sorry in my soul.
I feel that my life was a waste even though I have 3 georgious children now as good as 30 and twins 26.
Is this normal, to feel so low after so long. It maybe the lockdown too.
I though it was getting better, but at times the pain just comes back a deep deep sorry in my soul.
I feel that my life was a waste even though I have 3 georgious children now as good as 30 and twins 26.
Is this normal, to feel so low after so long. It maybe the lockdown too.
I wish I could say that it does get better but unfortunately my experience is similar to yours. I too had been married for nearly 30 years, have two grown up children and the knock came three years ago this month. Like you I feel an incredible sense of sadness and the feeling that my,life has been wasted. I am sure that the current situation won't have helped but please don't feel that you are alone in what you are experiencing. I often question that I should be feeling better by now but this is such a massive thing to recover from. X
I wish I could say that it does get better but unfortunately my experience is similar to yours. I too had been married for nearly 30 years, have two grown up children and the knock came three years ago this month. Like you I feel an incredible sense of sadness and the feeling that my,life has been wasted. I am sure that the current situation won't have helped but please don't feel that you are alone in what you are experiencing. I often question that I should be feeling better by now but this is such a massive thing to recover from. X
Even though it's been two years when you equate that to 30 years it isn't really that long. Some pain hurts us and some pain changes us. I suspect the latter is true for you. The wound caused goes so deep you will never be the same person. But think how far you have come, how in those early months you could barley function and now the pain is a deep but less often. You have been through a terrible, terrible trauma. I suspect over the years the memories sharp edges will fade but will never completely go. I'm sorry you've been through this.