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Hi I stubbled across this forum whilst googling!
my story goes like this, my now ex partner was arrested in January 2020 for grooming, he was bailed and could live with us ss put my children on child protection because I felt the allegations wernt true.
Then in feb 2020 he was re arrested as some more allegations were made so he got re bailed until March 2020 and included in those bail conditions were to have no contact and indirect contact with me and my children. (we have one child together) only contact for our child supervised by someone other than myself.
Our child was only a baby at the time. So in March COVID hit and he had been re bailed until august 2020 same bail conditions and we decided for him not to have any contact with our child.
August comes and he's released under investigation no bail conditions put in place anymore. My children are on a CIN plan now. We started up contact again and started getting close. I tell my sw and manager this and they then decided to put in a written agreement he's not to have any contact with my older children and to have contact with our child in the community and preferably not by me. Our child is now a toddler and doesn't do great with people they don't know so I wasn't a great fan of this. We now do contact over FaceTime so our child can get used to their dad.
Ss don't want us to to get back into a relationship because the police investigation is still ongoing.
I suppose my question is how long do you reckon he'll be under investigation I mean are we talking years and years! Will Ss be a dominating figure until he's either NFA'd or charged?
I've been told I'm a protective factor there are no concerns on my parenting yet I feel I'm being punished too when I've done nothing wrong in the 14 years I've been a parent!
hope I've posted this in the right place and thanks for reading
my story goes like this, my now ex partner was arrested in January 2020 for grooming, he was bailed and could live with us ss put my children on child protection because I felt the allegations wernt true.
Then in feb 2020 he was re arrested as some more allegations were made so he got re bailed until March 2020 and included in those bail conditions were to have no contact and indirect contact with me and my children. (we have one child together) only contact for our child supervised by someone other than myself.
Our child was only a baby at the time. So in March COVID hit and he had been re bailed until august 2020 same bail conditions and we decided for him not to have any contact with our child.
August comes and he's released under investigation no bail conditions put in place anymore. My children are on a CIN plan now. We started up contact again and started getting close. I tell my sw and manager this and they then decided to put in a written agreement he's not to have any contact with my older children and to have contact with our child in the community and preferably not by me. Our child is now a toddler and doesn't do great with people they don't know so I wasn't a great fan of this. We now do contact over FaceTime so our child can get used to their dad.
Ss don't want us to to get back into a relationship because the police investigation is still ongoing.
I suppose my question is how long do you reckon he'll be under investigation I mean are we talking years and years! Will Ss be a dominating figure until he's either NFA'd or charged?
I've been told I'm a protective factor there are no concerns on my parenting yet I feel I'm being punished too when I've done nothing wrong in the 14 years I've been a parent!
hope I've posted this in the right place and thanks for reading
Hi, we are almost 3 1/2 years in. SS buggered off 2 years ago because he has no contact with the children. SS will stay involved for as long as they believe he poses a risk.....note this is different to what the police outcome is. SS work on a 'beyond reasonable doubt' basis. Even if he isn't charged, if they believe he is likely to be guilty based on the Information they have, they will remain involved. I'm not trying to scare you, I'm just trying to help you understand how they work. The key to living with SS is understanding what they are doing, wether that's right or wrong
Thanks for your replies. They think the allegations are true and of course I will always put my children's safety and welfare first.
I just don't believe he would harm his child in anyway. our child is a baby will our child have to grow up and for the next 17 years having supervised contact with dad? Ss have said if we have to be involved for 18 years then something is very wrong. They just don't seem to want to give me any definite answers. Our relationship is over and I very much doubt it can or will reconcile but we just want to remain friends more so for the sake of our child. Seems the powers that be have decided he's a monster and that will be the way until our child turns 18? I just don't see it fair for our child to miss out on their dad for the rest of their childhood
I just don't believe he would harm his child in anyway. our child is a baby will our child have to grow up and for the next 17 years having supervised contact with dad? Ss have said if we have to be involved for 18 years then something is very wrong. They just don't seem to want to give me any definite answers. Our relationship is over and I very much doubt it can or will reconcile but we just want to remain friends more so for the sake of our child. Seems the powers that be have decided he's a monster and that will be the way until our child turns 18? I just don't see it fair for our child to miss out on their dad for the rest of their childhood
I don't think I'm allowed to put what's happened in my situation as it Is considerably more than images.
Grooming online or?
It's so hard because you have to make tough decisions on this. My kids do not and will not ever see their father again, No matter what a court says. You need to try and take a step back and assess the risk for yourself.....without any context I can't really advise further, but please, don't dismiss what SS are saying because 'you can't believe he'd do that to his own child' they are right they don't want to be involved for that long, and as long as you tickall the boxes and keep doing as they ask....they will eventually go away.....with the expectation the protective measures remain in place.....so if that's supervised contact or whatever that needs to stay.
There's another brilliant charity called MOSAC who are really helpful with specifically parents and family members in this situation and really worth speaking to on this subject
Grooming online or?
It's so hard because you have to make tough decisions on this. My kids do not and will not ever see their father again, No matter what a court says. You need to try and take a step back and assess the risk for yourself.....without any context I can't really advise further, but please, don't dismiss what SS are saying because 'you can't believe he'd do that to his own child' they are right they don't want to be involved for that long, and as long as you tickall the boxes and keep doing as they ask....they will eventually go away.....with the expectation the protective measures remain in place.....so if that's supervised contact or whatever that needs to stay.
There's another brilliant charity called MOSAC who are really helpful with specifically parents and family members in this situation and really worth speaking to on this subject