Help for me
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Hi
It's been 18 months of limbo but court will be on 2nd December.
I was told of the LFF originally but when I looked all I could see was support for perpetrators and those who were having thoughts.
I had counselling but I left with the same empty numbers I started off with. The Why's unanswered and a feeling of guilt and embarrassment that My husband had done this.
My tale is no doubt similar to many of you (breaks my heart to see how many this has and does affect)
The knock was out of the blue13.03.2019.Downloading of illicit material. Later I found hidden cameras. 17 months later more camera stills were found and pictures dating back to 2007 (we met dec 2006). The lies have piled up.
No support for myself and the kids until I reached breaking point in August 2019
Fast forward through the hellish nightmare hes now been charged with 3 indictments of possession of images catagorgy A,B&C and 3 charges of voyurism, recording,possession of equipment and, making .
I was talking to a mental health practitioner about help as the shock of the new info has set me back 18 months and I fear court will do similar. She offered counselling.
Is there any real help for us about this specifically?at first I was grieving the man who I knew as my moral,generous,caring husband think hed gone off track. Although it was over for us as my trust had gone I worked hard for him to remain a father. Now I feel I dont even know him. He has hidden this side of him from thecworl and successfully too. Like the good was just a veneer.
Theres so much aimed at help for them.sex addiction etc but I feel apart from this forum theres nothing for the family,friends and children left behind
It's been 18 months of limbo but court will be on 2nd December.
I was told of the LFF originally but when I looked all I could see was support for perpetrators and those who were having thoughts.
I had counselling but I left with the same empty numbers I started off with. The Why's unanswered and a feeling of guilt and embarrassment that My husband had done this.
My tale is no doubt similar to many of you (breaks my heart to see how many this has and does affect)
The knock was out of the blue13.03.2019.Downloading of illicit material. Later I found hidden cameras. 17 months later more camera stills were found and pictures dating back to 2007 (we met dec 2006). The lies have piled up.
No support for myself and the kids until I reached breaking point in August 2019
Fast forward through the hellish nightmare hes now been charged with 3 indictments of possession of images catagorgy A,B&C and 3 charges of voyurism, recording,possession of equipment and, making .
I was talking to a mental health practitioner about help as the shock of the new info has set me back 18 months and I fear court will do similar. She offered counselling.
Is there any real help for us about this specifically?at first I was grieving the man who I knew as my moral,generous,caring husband think hed gone off track. Although it was over for us as my trust had gone I worked hard for him to remain a father. Now I feel I dont even know him. He has hidden this side of him from thecworl and successfully too. Like the good was just a veneer.
Theres so much aimed at help for them.sex addiction etc but I feel apart from this forum theres nothing for the family,friends and children left behind
I'm so sorry you've endured this hell. I find it impossible to get through to the helpline anymore, so many people struggling but have you heard of oneinfour? They don't seem to put on their page that they support families but they do. The only thing is they don't keep a record of your story so you do have to retell which I always find retraumatising.
In terms of counsellors message a few and interview them on Zoom. There are 1000s of counsellors and some are shit in my experience but some are better. But make sure you find one that fits your needs and specialises. I find the ones at the GP are out of their depth.
The body keeps score is a good book if you haven't read it. It addresses the impact of trauma. Everyone I know who has read it and been affected by trauma has got something from it.
Apart from that think how far you have come. How strong you must be (even if you don't feel it) remember just because you think something doesn't make it true! You are a strong amazing woman. Believe that xx
In terms of counsellors message a few and interview them on Zoom. There are 1000s of counsellors and some are shit in my experience but some are better. But make sure you find one that fits your needs and specialises. I find the ones at the GP are out of their depth.
The body keeps score is a good book if you haven't read it. It addresses the impact of trauma. Everyone I know who has read it and been affected by trauma has got something from it.
Apart from that think how far you have come. How strong you must be (even if you don't feel it) remember just because you think something doesn't make it true! You are a strong amazing woman. Believe that xx
Rebecca Thank you.
I'll look at one in four, I'm like you every time I re tell it (as so many people have questions) it's like I'm day one again.
Let's keep going
I'll look at one in four, I'm like you every time I re tell it (as so many people have questions) it's like I'm day one again.
Let's keep going
Dazed
You always have here too. Post everyday if you need to. Post 10 times a day! There is always someone to reply. Sometimes I feel like I am losing my mind and others I wish I would then I wouldn't feel this constant pain ..... xxx
You always have here too. Post everyday if you need to. Post 10 times a day! There is always someone to reply. Sometimes I feel like I am losing my mind and others I wish I would then I wouldn't feel this constant pain ..... xxx
Hi Dazed
I totally agree, there doesn't appear to be anyone offering any support other than LFF. I asked both probation and my husbands risk manager and neither have been able to point me to anything.
If you haven't called the helpline, you may find them useful. At least they are used to dealing with family of these types of offences. You may find counselling useful, there are counsellors with experience in this area, the helpline should be able to help there, if you don't want to go to a more general counsellor.
I totally agree, there doesn't appear to be anyone offering any support other than LFF. I asked both probation and my husbands risk manager and neither have been able to point me to anything.
If you haven't called the helpline, you may find them useful. At least they are used to dealing with family of these types of offences. You may find counselling useful, there are counsellors with experience in this area, the helpline should be able to help there, if you don't want to go to a more general counsellor.