Divorce
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How long does it take to divorce someone who committed this offence?
My husband and I are at the end of the road.
I feel numb tonight.
I rang my mum and told her what has gone on and she said you need to get the Frik out of there.
My husband and I are at the end of the road.
I feel numb tonight.
I rang my mum and told her what has gone on and she said you need to get the Frik out of there.
Thanks Lee..
It's not even the offence that I'm divorcing him from...
He is selfish... And I'm really tired of it. I'm tired of the lying about booze.
He's been making really good progress.
But he screwed up today. He went out for hours without speaking after I said stop pitying yourself, You got caught hiding booze, own up to to it.
We've no kids, 1 dog and a mortgage I'm both our names.
The horrible thing is I really really don't want to. I really don't want to give up... But I can't keep doing this. :, (
It's not even the offence that I'm divorcing him from...
He is selfish... And I'm really tired of it. I'm tired of the lying about booze.
He's been making really good progress.
But he screwed up today. He went out for hours without speaking after I said stop pitying yourself, You got caught hiding booze, own up to to it.
We've no kids, 1 dog and a mortgage I'm both our names.
The horrible thing is I really really don't want to. I really don't want to give up... But I can't keep doing this. :, (
Give it some thought before progressing. Sounds like you have not considered too deeply as an option until speaking to your mother? You could separate for a bit first to see how things go. There is also the cost aspect and divorce can be stressful.
But in answer to your question if you submit for a divorce it can be dealt with straight away since he was the one that did wrong. My partner's ex wife for some reason hasn't applied for divorce despite they separated at the knock three years ago. They have no assets but have kids. Instead my partner had to wait two years to submit for a divorce.
But in answer to your question if you submit for a divorce it can be dealt with straight away since he was the one that did wrong. My partner's ex wife for some reason hasn't applied for divorce despite they separated at the knock three years ago. They have no assets but have kids. Instead my partner had to wait two years to submit for a divorce.
My divorce was really quick. I did it all online you just need at least 5 reasons why your marriage is irretrievable. I was lucky that we didn't have any joint assets so they made it very easy. I requested that he pay for it and the judge agreed. The whole thing was all done online and I was updated via email. I started it April and it was finalised by July.
Thanks for the responses everyone. His parents came over and I talked to his mum and he talked to his dad. He was still drunk throughout...
He's at there's now... I talked to my mum and explained it... She was less than impressed... She thinks that because of our history and his constant lack of changing that he will never change... But I explained it to her and she think that we both need some time apart...
I was considering divorce this year because we were at logger heads all the time. He was diagnosed with high depression and had a large propensity to cut himself...
He is on medication now... And with the Stopso therapy is making milestones to get better... I had and have started to see an improvements... Especially with his drinking but the problem is that he feels scared to tell me that he's got drink so his automatic go to is to hide it, he thinks he weak and that I will have a go at him, be disappointed as I'm not going to lie I have in the past, I have attempted to Co trol his drinking but we were making steps to address that, build the trust ... My issue is my heart and trust get broken every time he lies. I've told him I don't mind him having a weak moment and we can talk about it together.
I just want to wave a magic wand and make him open up and be better but I cannot...
And the logistics of time apart is tricky.
I want to and have to believe that he can better himself because I know he can, especially given that he's started making small strides... It's so overwhelming though.. I'm so angry sometimes when he messes up.
I don't know whether I'm holding on because I cannot let go and it hurts too much or that I genuinely think he can change... Only I can give myself that answer but I just don't know...
He's at there's now... I talked to my mum and explained it... She was less than impressed... She thinks that because of our history and his constant lack of changing that he will never change... But I explained it to her and she think that we both need some time apart...
I was considering divorce this year because we were at logger heads all the time. He was diagnosed with high depression and had a large propensity to cut himself...
He is on medication now... And with the Stopso therapy is making milestones to get better... I had and have started to see an improvements... Especially with his drinking but the problem is that he feels scared to tell me that he's got drink so his automatic go to is to hide it, he thinks he weak and that I will have a go at him, be disappointed as I'm not going to lie I have in the past, I have attempted to Co trol his drinking but we were making steps to address that, build the trust ... My issue is my heart and trust get broken every time he lies. I've told him I don't mind him having a weak moment and we can talk about it together.
I just want to wave a magic wand and make him open up and be better but I cannot...
And the logistics of time apart is tricky.
I want to and have to believe that he can better himself because I know he can, especially given that he's started making small strides... It's so overwhelming though.. I'm so angry sometimes when he messes up.
I don't know whether I'm holding on because I cannot let go and it hurts too much or that I genuinely think he can change... Only I can give myself that answer but I just don't know...
Thank You Lee and everyone else who has commented. Your words really help.
It makes me feel better venting so I hope you don't mind.
He came back this morning out of the blue. He apologised and said things that I've been wanting to hear for months.
- He's realised that we're a team and not two individual people
-He's admitted that he's not been handling thing well recently and was trying to get better too fast and by himself.
- He's ruined his life by screwing up so many times with the drinking. Making promises and then breaking them.
-He's really tired of screwing up and arguing and that it is mostly his fault.
-He needs to be a bug person about it and take ownership of his problems instead of hiding behind a mask.
He has a call with the mental health centre today and has said that he'd like to admit himself.
I wanted to hear these months ago. I've been working on getting myself better recently and said I'd rather be happy alone than miserable together, even though it really hurts. I don't know if I have the care of love to wait around.
My love language according to our therapist is Time spent together and his is touch. How do I grow back the love without him being there. Is it enough?
I know that time will tell but I am at loss. I'm numb and in pain all at the same time.
It makes me feel better venting so I hope you don't mind.
He came back this morning out of the blue. He apologised and said things that I've been wanting to hear for months.
- He's realised that we're a team and not two individual people
-He's admitted that he's not been handling thing well recently and was trying to get better too fast and by himself.
- He's ruined his life by screwing up so many times with the drinking. Making promises and then breaking them.
-He's really tired of screwing up and arguing and that it is mostly his fault.
-He needs to be a bug person about it and take ownership of his problems instead of hiding behind a mask.
He has a call with the mental health centre today and has said that he'd like to admit himself.
I wanted to hear these months ago. I've been working on getting myself better recently and said I'd rather be happy alone than miserable together, even though it really hurts. I don't know if I have the care of love to wait around.
My love language according to our therapist is Time spent together and his is touch. How do I grow back the love without him being there. Is it enough?
I know that time will tell but I am at loss. I'm numb and in pain all at the same time.
Thank you Lee <3 I really appreciate your waffle and I know what you're trying to say.
I am going to wait and see whether he can be addmited to a psychiatric unit and if not I've said that he needs to go to rehab for his addiction.
We need to move forward and he needs to do that alone so his ability to cope isn't reliant on alcohol. I also know he needs to have his diagnosis of autism confirmed because I am 100% certain that has an effect on his ability to cope and compartmentalise things
I am going to wait and see whether he can be addmited to a psychiatric unit and if not I've said that he needs to go to rehab for his addiction.
We need to move forward and he needs to do that alone so his ability to cope isn't reliant on alcohol. I also know he needs to have his diagnosis of autism confirmed because I am 100% certain that has an effect on his ability to cope and compartmentalise things
Uodate: he's had a first assessment with the mental health centre and they're going to send him their action plan but they also need to review him 2 times more with the first being in 7 to 10 days...
He said he doesn't want to leave the house and has promised to stay out of my way. I cannot leave because I have the dog and staying at either parents is not workable. Id have to tell the first parent why I'm there and the other parent, their flat is no dog friendly.
I've suggested he hires a car and stays with his parents for a few days but he says he doesn't want to because that would cause his mental health to plummit even more. Lockdown means no hotels so I am at a lose on what to do... I need him to leave for a few days so that I can process this and not hate him everytime I look at him.
He said he doesn't want to leave the house and has promised to stay out of my way. I cannot leave because I have the dog and staying at either parents is not workable. Id have to tell the first parent why I'm there and the other parent, their flat is no dog friendly.
I've suggested he hires a car and stays with his parents for a few days but he says he doesn't want to because that would cause his mental health to plummit even more. Lockdown means no hotels so I am at a lose on what to do... I need him to leave for a few days so that I can process this and not hate him everytime I look at him.