Family and Friends Forum

Vickie

Member since
November 2020

428 posts

Posted Mon November 23, 2020 6:53pmReport post

My husband is up in court end of this week,,, he started opening up about what has gone on he says its the only time he has ever done this had no plans on meeting even know they talked about it,, he's admitted it was him that sent the messages he said they are not great messages,, but he said he is soz and is trying to look for conciling to try and work out how he got here,, he say he is feeling empty inside,,

Does this sound like he is remorseful I think he is but scared of my judgement,, I believe what he says about having no intentions of doing anything ,,,

There is no picture and with not be charged with talking to a minor cause there was not one it was a decoy,,

Blackhound

Member since
October 2020

479 posts

Posted Mon November 23, 2020 8:50pmReport post

Just from what you've told us it sounds like he is remorseful yeah but actions speak louder than words.. If he contacts StopSo and organises a therapist who specialises in this then that's a great step towards becoming someone better.

Vickie

Member since
November 2020

428 posts

Posted Tue November 24, 2020 5:34pmReport post

He has said he will as soon as he knows what's happening with court,, I want to help him thro this cause he is a lovely man and love him deeply,, and the fact he is the father to one of my children and brought the other one up as his own xx

Thank u again for the support and advice

Blackhound

Member since
October 2020

479 posts

Posted Tue November 24, 2020 8:33pmReport post

Heya Vickie,

Do you mean to say that he is going to look for a Councillor when he knows what's happening with the court.. My opinion would be to start straight away...

It could take months to years to get a court date if you've had the knock recently...

We're here to advise and support and not judge any decisions you make!

Vickie

Member since
November 2020

428 posts

Posted Tue November 24, 2020 10:04pmReport post

He is in court tomorrow I have put the stopitnow number in a letter to him,, he has asked to speak to a conciler but the prison saying thay not got one,, so hoping he can have the number added to his listed,, then think he back in court again 26th nove,, we are in the West midland Black Country seams to be moving quite fast to some of the stories I have read on here,, know more tomorrow but he did not get bailed cause he had no address to return to and the police said he can't return to the family home could this be why its moving fast do u think xx

Any advice welcomed xxx thanks again for the support so far xx

majestictopaz15

Member since
December 2019

371 posts

Posted Tue November 24, 2020 11:18pmReport post

My partner submitted call logs provided by the Lucy faithful during his court hearing at sentencing. It was to show that he reached out. He also went on the inform course. Sounds like your partner/ex (sorry couldn't remember the relationship) went through from knock to hearing pretty quick. But as mentioned already actions speak more than words and I suggest he reaches out as best as he can to show he is trying to better himself and prevent him offending again.

I can't say for certain it helped my partner get a suspended sentence but it didn't do harm for him to submit the evidence he sought help.



Big hugs

Vickie

Member since
November 2020

428 posts

Posted Wed November 25, 2020 11:56amReport post

It has more very quickly,, spoke to the social worker today and does not sound so scary she seams to understand but we all know what they can be like say one thing to ur face and something else behind ur back,, she spoke to my daughter and she said she was happy with everything she said,,

She was asking her name,,

What my name was and what her dad's name was,,

And if she know where he dad was,, my daughter then said I hold him in my heart and head and hope he gets better soon and the social work asked why and my daughter replied my daddy is poorly and in hospital,, she ask my daughter what she wanted for Xmas she said my daddy home so I can have a cuddle,, I thro I was going to break but I did not what a morning

Hope everyone is having a okie dokie day this is my saying at the moment.

Annie1969

Member since
November 2020

224 posts

Posted Wed November 25, 2020 12:25pmReport post

Hope your ok

all my daughter wants is her dad home for Xmas but I can't see that happening as I've had no contact with SW for about 2 weeks and she's on leave..

ive messaged her again today and regardless of whether she's still on leave I don't really care, I need to know when she's getting back in touch so we can get moving with this work she wants to do with me.

I agree with what you're saying though, they say one thing to your face and something totally different behind your back.

you think that you can trust them but I've learned to tred very carefully and be mindful of what you say to them for example just because I said my husband wouldn't hurt our daughter, SW translated that as me saying I didn't believe he may pose a risk to her..

so now I have to prove to her that I can adequately protect my daughter in the home.

take care for now

xx

Vickie

Member since
November 2020

428 posts

Posted Wed November 25, 2020 1:43pmReport post

Yes I understand that Anne1967 its not fair them to just to mix words up,, I told them I understand there is a risk but it came from my daughter and I said I have told u she would of said something if he had done something to,, I think she believed me,, but now getting to a point that I feel the only place I am safe to talk about my feelings is on here and then people are like can't believe ur still talking to him or trying to help him get the help he need,, the just keep telling me to move on and to leave him to rot in prison,, hope these people never need this kind of help or support themselves xx

Does that make me a horrible person xxx

Thank Anne for your support and advice xx