Struggling and confused
Notifications OFF
I am really struggling today. My husband was arrested about 2 years ago and everything is happening in motion now. He is due to be sentenced this month. I decided to stay with him as he admitted suicidal thoughts in the years leading up to the offence and he has been really supportive to me through cancer treatment. But now aged 33 still receiving my cancer treatment and will for the rest of my life, I feel like my life is falling apart.
He has signed the sex offenders register and as a HGV driver has been told he will likely have to quit his job. I was getting by with my cancer treatment by thinking about and working hard towards my next holiday and now my husband can't travel for a year minimum and is restricted to where he can go in future. Basically any movement he makes any break away even in the UK, change to his appearance new tattoos etc, new bank account changing address all needs to be reported and my electronic devices will all be checked on a regular basis by the police. Him losing his job would mean possibly losing my home. I don't know how long I have left and could really do without this. I just don't know what to do anymore and feel 100% that my life is not my own any more.
He has signed the sex offenders register and as a HGV driver has been told he will likely have to quit his job. I was getting by with my cancer treatment by thinking about and working hard towards my next holiday and now my husband can't travel for a year minimum and is restricted to where he can go in future. Basically any movement he makes any break away even in the UK, change to his appearance new tattoos etc, new bank account changing address all needs to be reported and my electronic devices will all be checked on a regular basis by the police. Him losing his job would mean possibly losing my home. I don't know how long I have left and could really do without this. I just don't know what to do anymore and feel 100% that my life is not my own any more.
I wish i could say something to make things feel better. Life sounds like its really tough right now but i hope you are able to find new ways to cope and although you cant have the holiday together maybe you can find moments to enjoy (days out, time together). Its so hard getting used to a new way of living through no fault of our own.
I'm so sorry to hear this, you certainly have enough with your health let alone what you husband had done.
I haven't got any magic words or wisdom I'm afraid, is there a friend you could have a break away with, would that help?
Thinking of you, stay strong and take care xx
I haven't got any magic words or wisdom I'm afraid, is there a friend you could have a break away with, would that help?
Thinking of you, stay strong and take care xx
Amanda,
its completly no fault of your own. Sending you lots of kindness. I hope you and your husband can spend some quality weekend away. He is very lucky your standing by him. Hopefully he fully appreciates you.
He must be so aware of all your trauma and he must feel pretty bad he did something so idiotic. I truly hope he can keep his job and your house x
its completly no fault of your own. Sending you lots of kindness. I hope you and your husband can spend some quality weekend away. He is very lucky your standing by him. Hopefully he fully appreciates you.
He must be so aware of all your trauma and he must feel pretty bad he did something so idiotic. I truly hope he can keep his job and your house x
So sorry just re read he can’t even go away in the uk it seems so unfair for you x
Amanda - you have so much to deal with but you sound like such a strong lady to have got this far. I can’t believe how long it has taken to get as far as sentencing. There is not really any advice I can give you but just want to send my love and hugs and just the hope that you find some positive moments in what sounds like such an unbelievably difficult time. I often ask how much can one person be expected to bear and it sounds like you have more than your fair share. Lots of love. Xxx
There are no words I can find that will make this better for you. Just wanted to let you know my heart goes out to you. X