Family and Friends Forum

Papers and witch hunt begins

Vic87

Member since
October 2018

33 posts

Posted Wed January 9, 2019 9:30pmReport post

Having a very very bad evening

Hubbie was in court today for plea hearing and is back at crown court at end of the month. Well the papers have reported it . Why do they always right the bad points my husband didn't have a chance to talk about what help and support he is getting it was just guitly or not guilty and off you go to crown now it's all over the web mum's at the school saying things like I use to take him to the school. I HAVE NOT DONE ANYTING!!!!!!

My children and myself where not mentioned in the paper but now people are putting us in the fireing line. Will this ever stop I don't know how I am going to face the out side world. I am so worried at what is going to happen to me and my kids I just want to keep them off school and hide away from the world forever. I can't eat I feel sick I can't sleep I been to the doctor they just put me on tablets and off you go. Social services have not really been involved all I want is help I have asked them but just getting no where .

Very sad and lonely in a very dark place X X

Onwards&upwards

Member since
October 2018

336 posts

Posted Wed January 9, 2019 9:49pmReport post

Oh Vic87, what a tough day.

Given the fact it has just got in the papers my instinct would be to keep the kids off school tomorrow & maybe even Friday too just to let the dust settle a bit

One day at a time xx

Vic87

Member since
October 2018

33 posts

Posted Wed January 9, 2019 9:55pmReport post

I am taking the kids to school they need to have normality I can take them to breakfast club so won't see anyone and maybe see if I can pick them up a little bit earlier

And I have all the faith in the world with the teacher at school to make sure they are ok.

Just can't believe the mentality of some People I am doing my best to safeguard my children so how the hell will them all giving us the back lash help

Sad sad

Member since
December 2018

25 posts

Posted Wed January 9, 2019 9:56pmReport post

Omg .i feel ur pain. Try not to panic. Keep a level head n get someone you trust to talk to. This happened to me 22nd dec n im still here. Struggling but surviving . one day at a time . you will be surprised at how strong you are. Wish i could just give you a hug

Vic87

Member since
October 2018

33 posts

Posted Wed January 9, 2019 10:04pmReport post

It's hit me for six over 960.000 images have been found he told me this when he was reinterviewed so that was the shock it was the realisation of some one else reading it out

Solicitor is saying he shouldn't go to prison because he is still keeping going and he is getting support and is willing to do anything that probation can do with him to get him help as well as doing everything that has been asked of him by the police. I just never felt so low about all of this than I am right now.

I need to move asap around here is not a nice place to be plus my husband grew up here so is well known just don't know how the hell I can do that when I have had to leave my job due to child care it's just so so messy

Bethlou23

Member since
December 2018

373 posts

Posted Wed January 9, 2019 10:19pmReport post

Sending you lots of support and strength.

Its good your keeping some normality for your children. Hope you have friends that can show you kindness.

Wish we could be there in person to support you.



Keep your our head held high you have done nothing wrong.

Sad sad

Member since
December 2018

25 posts

Posted Wed January 9, 2019 10:33pmReport post

Omg .i feel ur pain. Try not to panic. Keep a level head n get someone you trust to talk to. This happened to me 22nd dec n im still here. Struggling but surviving . one day at a time . you will be surprised at how strong you are. Wish i could just give you a hug

Tracey

Member since
December 2018

231 posts

Posted Wed January 9, 2019 10:43pmReport post

Oh I feel for you, I think that's iou worse nightmare, I don't know what if do of that happened.

Please try and keep your head held high, your have done nothing wrong, your husband is man enough to admit what he's done and getting help.

Take care xx

Onwards&upwards

Member since
October 2018

336 posts

Posted Wed January 9, 2019 10:50pmReport post

Hi Vic87. By the sounds of it your kids are primary school age so sending them to school is good routine. Also it will give you chance to breathe, or scream, or curl into a ball for a while tomorrow. I sent my 2 to school the day after the Knock as they were 6 & 4 so blissfully unaware of the drama. Big hug xx

Andrea

Member since
September 2018

165 posts

Posted Thu January 10, 2019 5:39amReport post

Just want to give you a big hug and send you some love and support. I was fortunate that my children were adults and not at home at the time of the knock so I just concentrated on carrying on for myself. It sounds like you are a fab mum and being sensible trying to keep things as normal as poss in this totally abnormal situation. Hold your head up high, you are doing everything right. Just make sure you take some time to look after yourself. Xxx

Vic87

Member since
October 2018

33 posts

Posted Thu January 10, 2019 11:47amReport post

Well I got the kids to school spoke to teacher and they said they are there to support me also rang social services and they are going to try and give me some support with trying to get moved

The mum's at the school are all slowly messaging me saying they don't want to talk to me at all I just pray the kids are ok in school today

How the hell to we keep strong this is killing me so much

Big sigh

Member since
December 2018

147 posts

Posted Thu January 10, 2019 1:34pmReport post

Vic87, you poor thing. I can’t believe people are actually messaging you saying they don’t want to speak to you. If they don’t want to speak to you the that is their business, but to message you is so hurtful and difficult for you. Just remember in that whole group of people there will be some with deep dark secrets which they never want anyone to know. Often it is the ones who shout loudest who have the worst secrets they are hiding. Nothing I can say to make this better for you, just hope you know the whole world doesn’t think like they do. One day this will all be over x

Andrea

Member since
September 2018

165 posts

Posted Thu January 10, 2019 1:36pmReport post

Just sending you a huge hug. Hope you can keep your head held high. So sorry that people are not wanting to speak to you but just remember you have done nothing wrong. Thinking of you and your children. Xx

Bethlou23

Member since
December 2018

373 posts

Posted Thu January 10, 2019 2:32pmReport post

Vic

wish we were there with you to have a cup of tea. There are lots of good people out there. I am outraged people can be so cruel.



you sound so strong. Hope someone can see you need support as person and a mum xxx

Maria

Member since
September 2018

238 posts

Posted Thu January 10, 2019 3:11pmReport post

Its a shame all our kids dont go to tge same school we could all walk into school together and just ignore all these other people. Situations like this prove who real friends are. You dont want friends like that, so hold your head up high and take the kids to school. Its not nice but just ignore them all and find the kind non judgemental ones.

Onwards&upwards

Member since
October 2018

336 posts

Posted Thu January 10, 2019 4:01pmReport post

Hi Vic87

I hope school pick up went smoothly without any comments to your face. I think it was Jaded in another thread said to prepare a standard comment to reply to any negativity....if you want to try out what to say on here I'm sure between us we can get the wording right.

I wish you could be relocated near me. I live in a fab town which just accepted my "fresh start post divorce" story & I genuinely love where I live.

Moving is scary but after a few months can be the only good thing to come out of a horrible situation xx

Vic87

Member since
October 2018

33 posts

Posted Thu January 10, 2019 6:46pmReport post

My sister went and got the kids from school for me and no one said a thing the kids have come home normal and said they had good day so that is a good sign

I have got my sister staying with me tonight for company. Keeping it in my head today's newspaper tomorrow's chip paper . Can't wait for the 31st to come and then It is all go move and start again one more hurdle being court sentencing and then my life can start again

If any thing this experience has made me see the snakes in the grass so only have the loyal friends left an that all that matters is my children and how much strength us mothers partners ect are in these dark times

Tracey

Member since
December 2018

231 posts

Posted Thu January 10, 2019 7:49pmReport post

I find it unbelievable these people actually text to say they want nothing to do with you, hire date they!

Don't we all wish we had such perfect lives like they obviously do!

Keep counting down the days my lovely

Xx

Tracey

Member since
December 2018

231 posts

Posted Thu January 10, 2019 7:49pmReport post

Obviously I meant how dare they!! Damn phone!!

Vic87

Member since
October 2018

33 posts

Posted Fri January 11, 2019 1:41pmReport post

I can't believe them as well I have kept to everything I have been told to do but apparently if I am with him I am not keeping my kids safe

I never leave him with the kids they all know he dose not live with me so why the hell are they doing this to me. My sister took the kids this morning as I had a panic attack thinking about going to the school. I keep saying to my self it will be over soon I just think it was more easy to deal with before the papers why the hell have they reported his plea hearing don't see why and what they gain from it other than a witch hunt before the sentencing. Let's hope this settles soon

Bethlou23

Member since
December 2018

373 posts

Posted Fri January 11, 2019 3:04pmReport post

Love to you vic.



please know your not alone and doing everything you can to protect your children.

the media is cruel and biased these men need therapy and support not a witch hunt.



you have done nothing wrong. I hope there are some people showing you kindness xxx

Maria

Member since
September 2018

238 posts

Posted Fri January 11, 2019 3:05pmReport post

Im so sorry you are being given such a hard time. I think we all dread this happening. The media only has one goal and that is to make money! They do not care if what they print is true or if it ruins lives. This type of crime is a hot topic at the moment but very few people know the complexeties and varing reasons why people do it. Its very sad that people are so cruel, i hope they never find themselves in a difficult situation. I hope you are able to find some peace soon and things start to ease up for you and the kids. Is it the school parents saying you shouldnt stay with him? What do social services say?. I wish you lots of luck and hope things improve soon, make sure you have support and somewhere to talk and get help dealing with all this.

Vic87

Member since
October 2018

33 posts

Posted Fri January 11, 2019 4:16pmReport post

It's alot of the mum's at the school who say I shouldn't stay with him soical service have not done very much really but I have kept phoning them to get help and support and I think after yesterday they are starting to get some help for me some one from another organisation is coming to see me next Friday.

The kids have gone to his mum's so he is staying here this weekend witch is fine the police did it so he could do that because the kids are use to going to nanny's a weekend let's hope no one comes here kicking off just wish that people could understand the bigger picture and the papers well I will never ever believe a thing they write again

Vic87

Member since
October 2018

33 posts

Posted Sat January 19, 2019 5:22pmReport post

Update

So I have no learnt who I can stand by and who is here to help me

It's been so tough been to doctor's go some tablets to help and they seem to work

Now I have people message me on Facebook telling me to leave a person alone that was my best friend I have learnt that she was talking about all this behind my back so I have not spoke to her at all while this is going on and now out of random people are tell me to leave her alone feel so on edge all the time I know what this family issues like and now I'm really unsure what to do after why is this so hards

Maria

Member since
September 2018

238 posts

Posted Sun January 20, 2019 9:02amReport post

Sounds like you are having a really tough time. Make sure you take time to look after yourself and f8nd ways to reduce your stress and anxiety. These difficult situations really show you peoples true nature and who you can really trust and get support from. Is it worth just deleting facebook, come off all social media etc. Its hard to lose friends/family but take some time to yourself. You dont need all this extra drama right now concentrate on your life and only those people who offer you genuine support.

Coping

Member since
January 2019

5 posts

Posted Mon January 21, 2019 1:46pmReport post

I really feel for you, it’s the reason why we have all suffered trying to keep this awful secret, I can now begin to imagine how you are feeling right now, people can be so judgmental and unkind, I hope you have a few supportive friends there for you,sending hugs to you x

Vic87

Member since
October 2018

33 posts

Posted Mon January 21, 2019 2:48pmReport post

Well after seeing a post about myself on Saturday I rang the police but I am still waiting for them to call me back. It's so hard my husband has police officers that can help him but me and the kids have nothing on stand by. Ss are not doing anything they have not even bothered to come and see me since the knock in October and they are fully aware of the area we live in and what back lash I am having. Back at crown court on the 31st and I know for a fact there will be lots more to come with narrow minded people.

Trying to put one foot in front of another is hard enough I have made sure my kids are having as normal of a life they can at the moment and safe gaurding them. But in society today it is all about who has the biggest two face for me at the moment but at least all the snakes in the grass have been found just wish the next best thing will come so they leave me and the kids alone I just want to feel happy with my children and family

Onwards&upwards

Member since
October 2018

336 posts

Posted Mon January 21, 2019 4:40pmReport post

Hi Vic87

That sounds you are surviving a truly tough time right now. I moved as I believed the community would react in the exact way you are describing if it hit the papers. I didn't even wait until the Police completed their investigations...I effectively went into lioness mode grabbed my babies & just ran away. I felt isolated in the town I grew up in & that felt harder than starting again in a place I knew I was alone because I literally didn't know anyone!! I RESPECT what you are doing for your kids: keeping change to the minimum & being the consistent loving presence. High five xx

This best friend of yours obviously feels guilty that she hasn't stood by you as she must be upset when you are mentioned prompting the messages you are recieving...you aren't contacting her so she is playing the victim. As hurtful it is no-one needs friends like her: her true colours are out now &her leaving your inner circle is making space for a good person to take her place xx

It is so disappointing that there is such little support for you from authorities. Find myself wanting to make you a cuppa so you can talk it out again!!

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