Healing Trauma From Sexual Betrayal
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Dear All,
I have been quiet on here lately as I have been trying to heal a little from the trauma I went through 16 months ago. We all know how it feels when our worlds come crashing down. I reached out to my GP who could offer me no support, other than ‘try victim support’. It was only because my husband implored me to call Lucy Faithful Foundation, after he had called them having been given a leaflet by the police, that I found this supportive forum.
In brief, my husband was very late home, I was home on my own, fearing he’d had a crash as he wasn’t answering calls or texts. Police knocked at my door, 2 fully uniformed policemen, to tell me that he had been arrested following a vigilante sting. They searched the house and I was questioned about children/grandchildren. They took our devices. They asked me to take down notes of the police station that he was being held, the arresting officers name abs number etc and asked me to pick him up some time during that night. They left me, having been here for quite some time, warning me that there may be some backlash from the community and or vigilantes. I was frozen in shock and fear and alone. The memory of that feeling will never leave me.
Compare that to my husband, the ‘accused’. His mental health was checked over in case he was a suicide risk, he was told not to drive as he was considered a danger and his car a target. What about me??!!!!!
Only now, this far down the line have I found a resource that really will help everyone dealing with trauma. I found this through following links from a website given by Lee1969 (thank you Lee). It is a free on line course ‘Healing Trauma From Sexual Betrayal’ on bloomforwomen.com.
It has really helped me. And may well help you. I wish I’d had access to this earlier on. To give me some tools to help me survive. This course is aimed at people healing from sexual betrayal trauma alone, which in itself is massive. Add to that the police involvement, the loss of partners who have to immediately move away, and for you mums, the involvement of social services, and it makes you realise what a massive trauma we have all had to go through, through no fault of ours. And we are expected to just get on with it and manage our lives and those of our unstable partners and our families.
I am still determined to not let my experiences go to waste. I’m still trying hard to get someone to listen. But no one is keen. MP, Police Commissioner, media.
Next step is I am going to try to use my skills, to write a leaflet/booklet for us. And then try and get someone to pick it up and use it. I have got a few more contacts to try. I hope I succeed. No one deserves to go through this experience, no one.
xxx
I have been quiet on here lately as I have been trying to heal a little from the trauma I went through 16 months ago. We all know how it feels when our worlds come crashing down. I reached out to my GP who could offer me no support, other than ‘try victim support’. It was only because my husband implored me to call Lucy Faithful Foundation, after he had called them having been given a leaflet by the police, that I found this supportive forum.
In brief, my husband was very late home, I was home on my own, fearing he’d had a crash as he wasn’t answering calls or texts. Police knocked at my door, 2 fully uniformed policemen, to tell me that he had been arrested following a vigilante sting. They searched the house and I was questioned about children/grandchildren. They took our devices. They asked me to take down notes of the police station that he was being held, the arresting officers name abs number etc and asked me to pick him up some time during that night. They left me, having been here for quite some time, warning me that there may be some backlash from the community and or vigilantes. I was frozen in shock and fear and alone. The memory of that feeling will never leave me.
Compare that to my husband, the ‘accused’. His mental health was checked over in case he was a suicide risk, he was told not to drive as he was considered a danger and his car a target. What about me??!!!!!
Only now, this far down the line have I found a resource that really will help everyone dealing with trauma. I found this through following links from a website given by Lee1969 (thank you Lee). It is a free on line course ‘Healing Trauma From Sexual Betrayal’ on bloomforwomen.com.
It has really helped me. And may well help you. I wish I’d had access to this earlier on. To give me some tools to help me survive. This course is aimed at people healing from sexual betrayal trauma alone, which in itself is massive. Add to that the police involvement, the loss of partners who have to immediately move away, and for you mums, the involvement of social services, and it makes you realise what a massive trauma we have all had to go through, through no fault of ours. And we are expected to just get on with it and manage our lives and those of our unstable partners and our families.
I am still determined to not let my experiences go to waste. I’m still trying hard to get someone to listen. But no one is keen. MP, Police Commissioner, media.
Next step is I am going to try to use my skills, to write a leaflet/booklet for us. And then try and get someone to pick it up and use it. I have got a few more contacts to try. I hope I succeed. No one deserves to go through this experience, no one.
xxx
BTW. Still waiting on CPS. Still in limbo. X
Thankyou Tabs.
Ill have a look at the link.
It’s Been 10 months for me. There hasn’t been a day that I havnt relived the moment I found out over and over. I still flinch if someone accidentally brushes past me and jump out of my skin if my son cuddles me. I hope one day I will be able to trust again, but I really don’t know.
Its insane that we are just left to pick up the pieces and carry on with pretty much no support. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. X
Ill have a look at the link.
It’s Been 10 months for me. There hasn’t been a day that I havnt relived the moment I found out over and over. I still flinch if someone accidentally brushes past me and jump out of my skin if my son cuddles me. I hope one day I will be able to trust again, but I really don’t know.
Its insane that we are just left to pick up the pieces and carry on with pretty much no support. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. X
Thank you for your kind words Lee1969, I believe I am no stronger than any other person going through this. The strongest people are the ones, like yourself, who have families who rely on them. I, at least only have to look after myself! I can collapse into heaps of tears when I feel I need to, it must be hard putting a brave face on.
Marie D. Please do look at the course. The first thing is does is confirms that we have suffered a major trauma. And that how we felt and feel is 'normal'. It takes you through some great steps. And most importantly it focussed on YOU! We spend too much time in this situation worrying about others, and the impact that they have/may have on our futures, when we really need to address our own needs. If we don't then our mental and physical health WILL suffer. No question.
I really hope it helps you. I felt the effects straight away and use some of the strategies whenever I need them.
I have been lucky enough to be able to have therapy too, and that has helped. But I find that we focus on him a lot, as that is on my mind. So it was nice just to think of just me for a change!
Let me know how you get on, I hope it will help you start to deal with the trauma and PTSD.
Xxxxx
Marie D. Please do look at the course. The first thing is does is confirms that we have suffered a major trauma. And that how we felt and feel is 'normal'. It takes you through some great steps. And most importantly it focussed on YOU! We spend too much time in this situation worrying about others, and the impact that they have/may have on our futures, when we really need to address our own needs. If we don't then our mental and physical health WILL suffer. No question.
I really hope it helps you. I felt the effects straight away and use some of the strategies whenever I need them.
I have been lucky enough to be able to have therapy too, and that has helped. But I find that we focus on him a lot, as that is on my mind. So it was nice just to think of just me for a change!
Let me know how you get on, I hope it will help you start to deal with the trauma and PTSD.
Xxxxx